The other day, I was in bed almost all day nursing a bad stomach and making good friends with antacid and sodium bicarbonate when I remember looking through a stack of DVDs from my parents’ house wondering what I could watch to keep myself entertained while fighting the nausea and urge to upchuck everything I had eaten that day. From a rather large stack that included a lot of promising films like The Bank Job and The Contract, I settled on the newest throwback to old school slasher movies, Prom Night.
Nino wasn’t so happy with my choice but I’ve always been a fan of completely senseless/sometimes even unreal to the point of hilarious horror movies that make you raise your hands to cover your eyes and peek through your fingers because you feel it will keep you safe. I’ve always enjoyed believing that I would be safe under my blanket from whatever monsters went bump in the night and that as long as I didn’t look under the bed the creature that lived there couldn’t get me.
Obviously I enjoy getting scared. Not in real life, but in movies, any day. I’m always up for a slasher flick that will make me laugh at just how stupid some of the characters can be, yet at the same time make me just a teeny bit scared to turn off the lights before going to bed. So I figured with my stomach housing a monster of its own a great way to entertain myself would be to watch a new (old-style) horror movie. The type where you know the murderer will always catch you no matter how slow he walks or that if you step into the shower you are destined to die.
With that in mind, I decided to look over all my old favorite horror slasher flicks. And when I say that I don’t mean real I couldn’t-sleep-for-days-horror, I mean fun movies that make you yell and grab your friend’s hand and freak out but not pass out — in other words, the fun scary movies that are good for a fright but not for sleepless nights. This is more of a list of the popcorn horror flicks and not for movies like It, Rosemary’s Baby, Salem’s Lot, The Exorcist, and The Shining. I’ll reserve those for another list. So here is my short tribute to some of my favorite scary movies.
Nightmare on Elm Street Parts I and III: Dream Warriors
Who can forget being terrified of Freddy Krueger? That massively burned angry spectral child murderer who showed up in your dreams with Wolverine like claws and massacred every teenager who had the misfortune of living on Elm St. There were, of course, several chapters to this scary story, but my particular favorites were the first one and the third one. I guess I liked these because they were the ones where the story seemed more real. The first one laid the groundwork and had the original character Nancy (played by Heather Langenkamp) and basically told the story. Then the third installment called Dream Warriors brought Nancy back as she helps a bunch of kids in the psych ward fight off the slashing nightmare. It was scary fun, which I’ll admit got incredibly cheesy in the end but was awesome while it lasted. I even loved the song it inspired Will Smith to pen called Nightmare On My Street.
Friday the 13th
Another great scary movie character which freaked me out as a child was the anger-filled Jason Vorhees. You can already hear the theme music (Chi-chi-chi-chi-ha-ha-ha-ha) which would come on the moment someone was approaching death. Friday the 13th tells the story of a boy who drowned at summer camp and forever blamed the camp counselors for not watching over him. It was frightening but I guess it just didn’t make as big as impact on me as Freddy did. Perhaps because Jason always had that hockey mask on and used regular weapons. I guess there is something to be said about having razor blades shoot up right out of your hands versus, say, a butcher knife?
Halloween
And yet another teenage slasher movie featuring the unforgettable Michael Myers. The story is about a six-year-old boy who stabs his sister to death on Halloween night and is institutionalized. After 15 years he escapes and goes on a murderous rampage back in his home town where his name has already become a legend. All the while his doctor chases him and tries to stop his blood bath. Like Jason, Michael’s face is all but featureless and basically looks like a Halloween mask (go figure!). It’s a good fun horror movie though and especially fun to watch on Halloween (again, go figure!).
Scream
This was actually the rebirth of the scary bloody slasher movies and, if I’m not mistaken, Wes Craven’s comeback. Scream dealt with human monsters as opposed to fantastical ones. The story revolves around a regular girl — Sydney — who makes some bad enemies. I actually liked this movie because, not only was it scary and fun, but it also poked fun at scary movies by listing the “scary movie commandments” (which I thoroughly agree with) such as “Never say I’ll be right back… because you won’t be!” Besides, who can forget the opening of this movie which featured that freaky voice asking “Do you like scary movies” on the phone? This also spawned the ubiquitous horror mask that someone always dons come Halloween.
I Know What You Did Last Summer
And finally, the last freaky movie on my list brought together Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. in a story about a group of friends who accidentally run over a stranger on the road and decide to hide it from everyone by dumping the body and never talking about it again. You know that their actions are definitely coming back to haunt them and karma comes along in the form of a madman out for revenge in a raincoat with a fish hook. It was definitely freaky the first time around and kind of freaky in the second installment, but after that, enough was enough.
So that rounds out my list of all-time funny, scary and memorable teen slasher flicks. Does Prom Night make the cut? Well, not at the moment but maybe in a few years it’ll turn into a popcorn horror film classic.