How do I ask a guy to the ball?
March 30, 2007 | 12:00am
Dear China, Mai-Mai and Tingting,
Our gradua-tion ball is coming in mid-April and I’d like to ask this guy I like. I am wondering if it’s okay for me to invite him to the ball as my date. There are others who asked me, but this is a special day and it would be perfect if he would come with me. This guy’s a neighbor, two years older than me, single, and our families have been friends forever. There was a time I felt he had shown signs he liked me, too, though he didn’t pursue it, so I don’t think he’d say no. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks. I even made a "pros and cons" list, but I can’t decide yet. I’m just torn between following the "old-fashioned" way (being asked by somebody) and just wanting my grad ball to be memorable. What do you think?
BALL GIRL
I see no harm in asking your neighbor to accompany you to the ball, especially if you’ve been friends for a long time. However, to avoid embarrassment, ask him only in passing, maybe even jokingly. Don’t be too serious or, short of begging, pressure him into submission. You’re so sure he’ll say yes, but did you consider reasons why he might say no? For example, he’d have to have the proper attire, a vehicle to pick you up, flowers for you to wear to the graduation ball, etc. You’re giving him responsibilities, too  responsibilities he might not be willing to take, so be sure to give him the option to refuse and prepare yourself for a possible rejection. But don’t worry, there is no shame if he turns you down. The point is, you know what you want and you’re doing something to get it. Not many people are courageous enough to take that step. So go for it and good luck.
CHINA
I don’t like the idea of depending on one person for the success of my celebration, especially someone who has not made an effort to be part of the event in the first place. I’d like to think that the fun ultimately rests with myself. But that’s me. If you think that this guy will make your day special, then you might as well ask him. I know it’s quite common nowadays for girls to ask boys out. But I suggest you initially float the idea around. Don’t go to him directly. Find a common friend to speak for you because I don’t think you know for sure that he’ll say yes. For all you know, he likes the old-fashioned ways himself and would prefer to ask instead of be asked. This friend should ask the "what if" questions. How would he feel about girls asking boys out? What if it happened to him? Would he consider being your date if you asked? All those hypothetical questions need be floated so you don’t get a shock if he does say no. Then if it seems that he doesn’t mind, then your friend can go ahead and ask on your behalf. Don’t be so bold as to put yourself out there. This is what friends are for.
MAI MAI
I’m taking the conventional stance in saying that, if I were you, I wouldn’t ask him to be my date. I’d be more proud and feel more special going with someone who asked me instead of being with someone I had asked. It’ll be too much pressure, thinking how to entertain him, bringing him to an event like this and not be awkward with friends and classmates. I understand you want your graduation ball to be perfect, but asking him to accompany you is a big step and maybe not appropriate at this time. I suggest you enjoy the night with someone who asked you. This someone might not be your ideal date, but I’m sure he will treat you like a princess because he asked to be your date. That should be something at least. There are also other ways to make this ball memorable. Dance the night away with your classmates and your barkada. After all, this is a night to be celebrated with them and to enjoy your last few moments with each other before going your separate ways. Now is the time for you to laugh about the hard exams, the strict teachers and the tricks you played on each other. You can’t be spending that much time with your date anyway, so I would give up the idea for now if I were you.
TINGTING
Our gradua-tion ball is coming in mid-April and I’d like to ask this guy I like. I am wondering if it’s okay for me to invite him to the ball as my date. There are others who asked me, but this is a special day and it would be perfect if he would come with me. This guy’s a neighbor, two years older than me, single, and our families have been friends forever. There was a time I felt he had shown signs he liked me, too, though he didn’t pursue it, so I don’t think he’d say no. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks. I even made a "pros and cons" list, but I can’t decide yet. I’m just torn between following the "old-fashioned" way (being asked by somebody) and just wanting my grad ball to be memorable. What do you think?
BALL GIRL
I see no harm in asking your neighbor to accompany you to the ball, especially if you’ve been friends for a long time. However, to avoid embarrassment, ask him only in passing, maybe even jokingly. Don’t be too serious or, short of begging, pressure him into submission. You’re so sure he’ll say yes, but did you consider reasons why he might say no? For example, he’d have to have the proper attire, a vehicle to pick you up, flowers for you to wear to the graduation ball, etc. You’re giving him responsibilities, too  responsibilities he might not be willing to take, so be sure to give him the option to refuse and prepare yourself for a possible rejection. But don’t worry, there is no shame if he turns you down. The point is, you know what you want and you’re doing something to get it. Not many people are courageous enough to take that step. So go for it and good luck.
CHINA
I don’t like the idea of depending on one person for the success of my celebration, especially someone who has not made an effort to be part of the event in the first place. I’d like to think that the fun ultimately rests with myself. But that’s me. If you think that this guy will make your day special, then you might as well ask him. I know it’s quite common nowadays for girls to ask boys out. But I suggest you initially float the idea around. Don’t go to him directly. Find a common friend to speak for you because I don’t think you know for sure that he’ll say yes. For all you know, he likes the old-fashioned ways himself and would prefer to ask instead of be asked. This friend should ask the "what if" questions. How would he feel about girls asking boys out? What if it happened to him? Would he consider being your date if you asked? All those hypothetical questions need be floated so you don’t get a shock if he does say no. Then if it seems that he doesn’t mind, then your friend can go ahead and ask on your behalf. Don’t be so bold as to put yourself out there. This is what friends are for.
MAI MAI
I’m taking the conventional stance in saying that, if I were you, I wouldn’t ask him to be my date. I’d be more proud and feel more special going with someone who asked me instead of being with someone I had asked. It’ll be too much pressure, thinking how to entertain him, bringing him to an event like this and not be awkward with friends and classmates. I understand you want your graduation ball to be perfect, but asking him to accompany you is a big step and maybe not appropriate at this time. I suggest you enjoy the night with someone who asked you. This someone might not be your ideal date, but I’m sure he will treat you like a princess because he asked to be your date. That should be something at least. There are also other ways to make this ball memorable. Dance the night away with your classmates and your barkada. After all, this is a night to be celebrated with them and to enjoy your last few moments with each other before going your separate ways. Now is the time for you to laugh about the hard exams, the strict teachers and the tricks you played on each other. You can’t be spending that much time with your date anyway, so I would give up the idea for now if I were you.
TINGTING
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