Prep school

I had a horrific prom experience during my senior year in high school. It was so horrible that I really don’t have a clear memory of how the evening transpired – evidence of how well I’ve trained my mind to forget things most unpleasant.

I do have a yearbook picture to prove that I donned a tux that resembled some Karate Kid movie, complete with the ruffled shirt and a pocket kerchief in a totally off color. For some odd reason, I had a couple of gelled sticks of hair that stuck out in the back and made me look like Alfalfa in Little Rascals. My pre-Boracay tanning days had me looking pale and jaundiced. My date certainly looked embarrassed to be with me.

I will soon incinerate this yearbook.

I swore to myself that I would contribute my two cents to anyone seeking advice on how not to prepare for a prom.

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Phytomer, L’Occitane, Chanel, Acca Kappa & Jean Paul Gaultier are available at Rustan’s Department Store. Dermalogica is located at the 5th level of The Rustan’s Department Store Makati.

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E-mail me at djmontano@pacific.net.ph.

1. Thou shall not douse a quart of that cheap aftershave and assume you’re good to go.

When I think "well-groomed," I think James Bond… I think it’s great advice to watch at least one Bond flick or two in preparation for prom. Being old school in this genre, I prefer the Sean Connery ones. You can learn a lot from this insanely suave man than just ordering a classic vodka martini.

The pre-Casino Royale James Bond always looks like he spent at least a couple of hours grooming himself in every scene – even if it involved coming out of a grueling fight scene and jumping out of a cycling car explosion. No wonder he gets all the chicks. Now emulating James Bond may be a tall order but why not give it a try with a few grooming tricks?

Use the right product scents in the right combination. Don’t assume that if you use coconut-scented soap, mint lotion and the latest designer fragrance you’ll come out smelling delicious. There’s probable cause to believe that you’ll smell like a weird lab experiment. Use scented products of the same type or scents that go together. During the summer months or for outdoor parties, I prefer to use mildly scented products. Rustan’s Essenses has a great line of fresh-scented goodies. I love the lavender shampoo and conditioner of L’Occitane. I use it with Tact Lavande liquid soap to match. Acca Kappa’s Acqua Di Colonia and Hierbas De Ibiza’s Agua De Colonia Fresca are two refreshing colognes that’ll make you smell like you’ve just stepped out of a fancy yacht.

2. The nose has it.

There’s a way of separating the age of mankind from the age of the baboons: I call it nose hair clippers. Never say "I’m ready for my close up, Mr. De Mille" unless you’ve done the trim. Buy the ones that have rounded edges, use under bright light and snip-snip. Please, you just must. I beg you.

3. Relaxation therapy

Being well groomed also means being relaxed. I like getting a nice massage in preparation for a long night. Aside from hiring a good set of therapist hands, great massage oils aid a lot in pampering the senses. L’Occitane’s Huile De Massage Olive Oil or Jean Paul Gaultier’s Scented Massage oil hits the spot.

So your prom need not be an experience that requires therapy to forget, follow thy commandments and you may even want to buy multiple copies of your yearbook.

4. Thou shall not go to the prom looking pale like a cadaver or like you’ve just recovered from a bad case of hepatitis.

There has to be a lot said on why the tanning industry has raked in billions. The recent red-carpet run at the Golden Globes saw a lot of men looking polished bronze. If you don’t bring home the Globe, try to at least look golden. George Hamilton was way ahead of his time, having swooned worldly women, allegedly including one of our country’s famous first ladies. A tan just makes you look more svelte and chiseled. Do you notice how all these body builders brown themselves before bodybuilding competitions? It’s a no-brainer that one would pick Jude Law in The Talented Mr. Ripley over Pee Wee Herman – OK not a fair comparison but you get the point.

If you can’t take the time out to bask on the beach, there’s always the tanning salon for an instant spray-on tan or a layering treatment. I recently got to try out the Phytomer tanning treatment at the Fitness First Spa at RCBC and I was tres impressed with the results. It looked evenly distributed and lasted almost a week. I must warn you to wash your fingers and palms immediately after the treatment lest you want them looking orange – advice given to me by the therapist which, much to my regret, I did not heed.

You can also do your own self-tanning at home by applying self-tanners. I like Phytomer’s Creamy Self-Tanning Gel for face and body. It took three consecutive days of application to achieve the natural tan that I wanted. There’s also Jean Paul Gaultier’s Makeup for Men line, which includes a non-shimmer bronzer that looks natural and hides all those unsightly pores.

The cheap bells in my brain rang out loud when I heard that David Beckham swears by it.

5. Invest in thy face.

Once you and your prom date are in that close slow-dance embrace, it’s your face that’s going to matter and you’re going to want it to look as great as possible. There are a ton of facial creams and soaps out there for every type of skin. Use one that matches your skin type. If you’ve oily skin, use non-oil-based cream.

Some guys have a tendency to use heavy creams in a tropical climate like ours so they end up looking like they just steamed themselves over a deep-fat fryer.

I’ve used the Chanel Precision Line ever since my friend Joel brought me to their counter at Rustan’s a number of years ago. The line got its name simply because it has a precise product combination for every type of skin. I swear by its four-step line: System Purete Mousse Mild Exfoliating Facial Soap, Activateur Purete Purifying Lotion Toner, Purete Ideale Serum and Rectifiance Intense Anti Age Moisturizer and a separate Eye Anti-Age Cream for my nightly regimen. It could also be as simple as just using a light facial soap and moisturizer for your skin type.

Afraid of being called a dame for advocating such a daily ritual? Be more afraid of being mistaken for Hogwarts’ Dumbledore when you turn 40!

A facial can do wonders for your face even if you’ve had the most grueling week. Try to schedule one at least three days ahead of your prom. If you have one immediately before prom, your face may look puffy or reddish from all the cleansing or pore pinching. If you want to preserve your tan, ask for a facial that does not use strong exfoliation or your tan may wear off. Dermalogica at Rustan’s offers facial treatments that are specific to your needs and skin types.