• Beyond the red line
Made famous by very insecure quasi-celebrities, these come-hither looks are a no-no even for Halloween.
• Mall rat
Big hair with dark lip-liner filled with a sweet neutral gloss. It’s hard to believe that this look is still around in food courts in the greater Americas.
• Talons or porn star nails
Though there are places that do acrylic nails tastefully, once you start donning fake tips it’s easy to go crazy! Same goes for those exaggerated French manicures and – even worse – pedicures.
• Teased hair
It was never a good idea to turn what nature gave you into a ratty nest of hair. Weather girls and pop stars from the ’80s mourn this phase.
• Lara Thin Boyle
Karen Carpenter was a sad example, but Nicole Richie and co. are even sadder examples. Not only are they skinny, they are puffy, too, like marshmallow Twizzlers. You can never be too rich, but you can be too thin!
• Heroin chic
Unlike the heroine chic detailed in Laura Weisberger’s The Devil Wears Prada, this look is more Pete Doherty than Kate Moss. I don’t care. I want my celebrities to look unnaturally clean.
• MC Hammered
These parachute pants made a cameo in almost everyone’s closet. Never chic, flattering or timeless, this fashion mistake made MC Hammer’s bankruptcy bearable.
• Cornrows
If you’re wearing Juicy Couture and you’re rocking this ’do, you’re in fashion hell.
• Bling
Nigo can totally get away with it; but again, just like cornrows, if you’re just in it for the show, you better start hiding.
• Pink of health
Wearing all pink can go from sweet to Malibu Barbie with herpes in no time.
• Bug’s life
That look that Rachel Zoe created for her critters is plain annoying. Jackie O it’s not.
• Orange you glad you’re not me
Totally tang-tinged tans are so not sexy!
• White out
Never trust a person with black gums or too-white teeth!
• The Terminator
Overly muscled women are scary, not sexy! Ease up on the dumbbells!
• Colored contacts
Fun for fashion shoots, desperate in real life, unless you opt for those color-enhancing ones. They rock!
• Flower power
When your couch becomes you!
• Fur in the tropics
Unless it’s a costume party, you better pelt yourself for being so retarded.
• Over-processed hair
Your hair is meant to be like chocolate, not Skittles!
• Plastic woman
When you start looking like something from National Geographic, it’s time for some intervention.
• The rich bitch
Only a gold digger can justify gold-digging.