These should have never happened: Top 20 disastrous trends

Did anyone catch the Oscars last year? Pretty boring stuff. The clothes, most especially, were lackluster – especially with the absence of bad outfits. Whether we like it or not, bad trends keep fashion interesting and entertaining. Here’s a rundown of contemporary fashion disasters, veering away from the obvious lot, like shoulder pads.

• Beyond the red line

Made famous by very insecure quasi-celebrities, these come-hither looks are a no-no even for Halloween.

• Mall rat

Big hair with dark lip-liner filled with a sweet neutral gloss. It’s hard to believe that this look is still around in food courts in the greater Americas.

• Talons or porn star nails

Though there are places that do acrylic nails tastefully, once you start donning fake tips it’s easy to go crazy! Same goes for those exaggerated French manicures and – even worse – pedicures.

• Teased hair

It was never a good idea to turn what nature gave you into a ratty nest of hair. Weather girls and pop stars from the ’80s mourn this phase.

• Lara Thin Boyle

Karen Carpenter was a sad example, but Nicole Richie and co. are even sadder examples. Not only are they skinny, they are puffy, too, like marshmallow Twizzlers. You can never be too rich, but you can be too thin!

• Heroin chic

Unlike the heroine chic detailed in Laura Weisberger’s The Devil Wears Prada, this look is more Pete Doherty than Kate Moss. I don’t care. I want my celebrities to look unnaturally clean.

• MC Hammered

These parachute pants made a cameo in almost everyone’s closet. Never chic, flattering or timeless, this fashion mistake made MC Hammer’s bankruptcy bearable.

• Cornrows

If you’re wearing Juicy Couture and you’re rocking this ’do, you’re in fashion hell.

• Bling

Nigo can totally get away with it; but again, just like cornrows, if you’re just in it for the show, you better start hiding.

• Pink of health

Wearing all pink can go from sweet to Malibu Barbie with herpes in no time.

• Bug’s life

That look that Rachel Zoe created for her critters is plain annoying. Jackie O it’s not.

• Orange you glad you’re not me

Totally tang-tinged tans are so not sexy!

• White out

Never trust a person with black gums or too-white teeth!

• The Terminator

Overly muscled women are scary, not sexy! Ease up on the dumbbells!

• Colored contacts

Fun for fashion shoots, desperate in real life, unless you opt for those color-enhancing ones. They rock!

• Flower power

When your couch becomes you!

• Fur in the tropics

Unless it’s a costume party, you better pelt yourself for being so retarded.

• Over-processed hair

Your hair is meant to be like chocolate, not Skittles!

• Plastic woman

When you start looking like something from National Geographic, it’s time for some intervention.

• The rich bitch

Only a gold digger can justify gold-digging.