I’ve gone from child to adolescent to teenager to young adult to (hopefully) adult and many of the things that I enjoyed as a kid I’ve sold, given away, or lost. I remember toys I used to think I could never live without suddenly finding themselves in the back of my closet or in goodwill boxes. Strawberry Shortcakes and Care Bears going to my younger relatives. I suppose that’s inevitable though. We all have to grow up sometime and eventually we’ll be stripped of all our security blankets. Still, sometimes I miss them.
Which brings me to my current source of happiness. Over the last couple of days I’ve started feeling like a kid again as I’ve rediscovered some of the beloved toys of my past. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been longing to relive my only truly carefree days but I’ve found that, with all the sadness and tribulations that life oftentimes throws our way, it’s important to find your center and be able to go back to a happier time when, let’s face it, you were at one with the universe.
I think that’s been my biggest problem for a while now. I’ve felt disconnected and unsure of myself. Being caught, as they say, in the middle of the real world I think I’ve lost sight of some of the things that make me really happy. I’ve been too busy trying to do things and achieve things and make things in my life turn out the way I had "planned." I’ve forgotten to enjoy the actual fun and happy moments that come my way.
I’ve become too serious in many ways, too concerned with doing the "right thing" that I’ve forgotten to think about myself and what will truly make me a happier and more positive person. A lot of my friends say I’m Miss Cheerful and I really am too, but over time I seem to have sort of misplaced my constant source of sunshine. I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in my problems and my cynicism and basically life’s circumstances. Because of that, gray clouds began to invade my perfect paradise.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that sadness and troubles are all a part of life but I still believe that it’s not our problems that dictate our lives but our choice of how to deal with them. I know that’s easier said than done, but I truly believe it. Lately, I’ve been rediscovering the part of myself that really believes in the "silver lining". Truly, it’s nice to just laugh and actually really mean it.
I’ve recently rediscovered some of my favorite toys from my younger years, namely Mr. Potato Head and My Little Pony. I remember a time when these things were constantly by my side (along with my Star Wars action figures and Care Bears)! I found the movie Toy Story so hilarious because I thought it was funny seeing Mr. Potato Head actually talking and moving. He was one of my favorite toys and the O.C. child in me managed to keep all his parts intact when she was younger. But I’d lost him over the years so you can imagine my joy and surprise to find out that he was back! Apparently, the return of the Care Bears has launched this sudden interest in all the popular toys from the past. Strawberry Shortcake has returned, Mr. Potato Head is back, the Ninja Turtles have been re-vamped and re-launched, and it won’t be long before all our old favorites are once again flying off the shelves.
Like another old toy I found that brought a smile to my face – Silver Lining, my quite appropriately named Pegasus, My Little Pony toy. Though I admit to being a tomboy growing up – climbing trees, torn jeans, baseball, football, G.I. Joes – I still had my share of little girl toys.
Was I just happy to find old toys I loved or was there a deeper meaning? Obviously, I can’t be a child again and believe it or not, I don’t want to be that part of my life that is over, but Mr. Potato Head and Silver Lining have just reminded me not to quench the child inside. They’ve reminded me of some of the happiest times of my life and how I should always remember to look at life as a promise and not a curse. There will be times of sadness and pain, moments when you feel you can’t go on or don’t even want to go on, times when your heart breaks and you second guess everything you do. Believe me, I’ve had my share of times like that – I have them still, but even through all that you can still try to be positive and look ahead or be cynical and dwell in the now. I choose the former and (at the risk of sounding like Deepak Chopra) I hope that by believing in my own inner light, I can help shine the way for others, especially those I love. I truly believe we are all special and important and wonderful, and I hope that everyone can look at themselves for the amazing people they are. Take my word for it, when life throws you curveballs sometimes it helps to close your eyes and go back to a happier time in your life, allow the peace of that time to wash over you, and then open your eyes and look at the world in a whole new way.
Wow, who would have guessed I’d get that from a plastic potato and Pegasus?