Survival for defeatists

By the time this is published, semestral break will have struck the academe with seaside sunbathing and drunken revelry. (It is, after all, Oktoberfest.) And we, the survivors, will be drowning our post-examination sorrows in saltwater. The battle is over. We have developed carpal tunnel syndrome and cooked our brains into Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom, but it’s over. There are many things that we wish we could change, but all the same, it’s over. For now.

We may have emerged victorious, or fortunate, this time around. But what happens next semester? Surely we won’t want to make the same mistakes. So, I present to you the things I learned from my first set of nightmarish college finals. Some of these may be stupid, and some may be pretty darn basic, but without further ado, the list!

Be sure to wear a watch. It’s always good to know exactly how much time you have left when you’re taking a test, instead of finding out halfway through your essay that you’ve got to wrap it up.

Set aside the things you’ll need for your test the night before. A friend of mine learned this the hard way when he had to run to the administration building five minutes before our Math finals to get another exam permit.

Speaking of Math, always check your signs. I’ve been cursed since high school. Aside from being generally mathematically inept, I also have this tendency to write down the wrong sign, or read the wrong sign. Always go through your work to ensure that you didn’t make any careless mistakes.

Leave your house at least 45 minutes before the test. (Depending on where you live, of course, your timeframe might have to be extended.) You never know when natural calamities or reckless drivers will strike. I got stuck in a traffic jam caused by an accident three minutes before my Literature exam was going to start. I have since learned my lesson: it’s always better to be ridiculously early.

Know your schedule, unless you want disaster to strike. You don’t want to show up for a test only to find out that you’ve been misinformed and the test is actually over. (That happened to me. Good thing I had a really understanding teacher who still let me take it.)

And if you start feeling depressed about the exams, or if you feel like you’re going to fail, and you can’t go on, the following songs are extremely good for lifting your spirits, making you feel overwhelmingly powerful, or making you laugh. (Because rock music makes us all feel so angas.)

1) Fight For Your Right to Party, Beastie Boys

It’s true. You gotta fight for your right to paaar-taaay! In this case, analyze your brains out and write until your fingers fall off. Finals are the last hurdle before sem break, and therefore, the only thing keeping you from good music and serious fun.

2) Army of Me (Live), Björk and Skunk Anansie

Stand up. You’ve got to manage. You’re all right. There’s nothing wrong. Self-sufficience, please. Get to work. What more can be said?

3) I’m A Cloud, Boy Hits Car

Not so much for lyrical value, but because the song is just so intense and angry. I don’t know about you, but loud, powerful music gives me energy. I am so full of these feelings that tear me every which way.

4) Don’t Panic, Coldplay

All of us are done for. We live in a beautiful world, yeah we do, yeah we do. It’s true. All of us are done for. All life ends in death. Still, we live in a beautiful world, and even when times are bad, we have to stop and appreciate that.

5) Harapin ang Liwanag, The Dawn

Kung gusto mong makita ang umaga, gisingin ang tulog na paniniwala. Ikaw ang sarili mong pag- asa. Bawat oras na lumipas ay di na babalik. Well, if that isn’t the truth, I really don’t know what is.

6) Eye of the Tiger, Survivor

If all else fails, listen to this and feel like Rocky Balboa.

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You can e-mail me at bewaretheashtraygirl@yahoo.com.