I like to think I’d make the perfect Miss Universe candidate. Granted, I may be both vertically and horizontally challenged (the horizontal difficulty manifesting itself in the space between my neck and my stomach) – but I can more than make up for it in the Q&A portion. I’m quite capable of saying all the right things – I believe in democracy, diplomacy, and, let’s not forget, World Peace.
There are occasions, however, when the inner beast attempts to claw its way out – usually along the streets of Makati, Ortigas and outside shopping malls.
Let me explain. When I started college, lacking both car and driver, I slowly became initiated into the art of commuting from point A to point B. As riding jeeps and the MRT requires a basic understanding of where to get off and what next to do, I found myself relying more and more on what I used to believe was God’s Gift to directionally incapacitated man –taxis.
I’ve revised quite a lot of what I believed, after three years of jumping in and out of cab doors. Take the Oscars phenomenon. The driver (I call him Oscar) begins his award-winning performance sometime during the middle of the ride. He wrinkles his brows, scratches his head, rubs his stomach, and start muttering about the traffic. "Ma’am," he eventually says, "ma’am, puwede sa ibang taxi na lang kayo? Ang traffic/ Gutom ako/ May pupuntahan pa ako."
Shocked, you refuse. You’re already in the cab, it’s late, it’s raining, and there aren’t other cabs. They refuse to budge, and continue on with their performance: "Ma’am, sorry talaga, pero, di talaga pwede," they say sheepishly. You have no choice. You open the cab door, steaming mad and stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Last year, already a seasoned veteran of Metro Manila cabs, I went to London and had my first experience of London taxis. Also known as the London Black Cab, these vehicles and their drivers have the reputation for providing the best taxi service in the world. Every driver is required to undergo a demanding test of what they call "the knowledge," his or her mastery of London which can take up to four years to learn. To them, being a cab driver is a religion, a mission, and a vocation. To the Filipino cab driver, the art of pretending not to know where he’s going appears to also be a religion, a mission, and a vocation.
There are several things you learn to expect from Filipino cabbies. For a bill of, say, P73, don’t expect to see return on the hundred-peso-bill you paid. It’s the rare taxi driver who knows the definition of change. They sit counting out your money and checking their watches, they wait and wait for you to get off the cab as you wait and wait for your change. You are compelled to ask for it, and they look at you long-sufferingly as if you’ve just asked them to give up their firstborn son. "Wala akong barya," is the perpetual claim, even though you can see a wad of twenties stuffed under the car’s sun guard. You point and say "Ayan po, ang dami niyong barya." The driver glares, then mumbles about how he needs the smaller bills. Reluctantly, with great shaking of his head, he hands over your change.
I got a surprise the other day when a friend told me about seeing a Taxi Passenger’s Bill of Rights he’d seen taped behind the drivers’ seat of a Hong Kong cab. I searched through the net, and lo and behold: It does exist – and in dozens of countries the world over. One cardinal rule: A cab must accept any and all fares; no matter to where, no matter how secluded the area.
According to the Bill of Rights, refusing a fare is the exception, not the rule. Taxi drivers are allowed to refuse passengers only if their personal safety would be threatened or endangered. They can refuse if the intending passenger is under the influence of drink or drugs. They can say no if the intending passenger is in a filthy condition. They can turn down an intending passenger consuming food or drink or if there are more passengers than the cab can accommodate. They can decline if the intending passenger is noisy, violent or is disturbing the public peace. They can say no if the intending passenger is accompanied by an animal, unless that person’s sight is impaired and the animal is a guide dog. They can refuse if the intending passenger owes the driver for a previous fare and refuses to pay what is owed or if his intending passenger doesn’t have enough money for the journey.
As I’ve never been considered physically threatening, noisy, violent, a threat to public peace or attempted to bring an animal (do 20-year-old boys count?) into a taxi, I fail to see why I get refused three out of five cabs I try.
It’s dangerous to generalize though. I’d been standing in front of Podium trying to hail a cab for almost an hour when a taxi stopped in front of me. He said he was on his way home, but that he’d take me if I were on the way (I wasn’t). After seeing the desperation in my eyes (I was about ready to kneel on the middle of the street and beg) he told me to hop in, and brought me to the more populated Megamall. He refused payment – "Wala ‘yun ma’am," then made sure one of the other cabs took me in. Whoever you are, oh gentleman of the green-and-white striped shirt, thank you. May you, your children, and your children’s children prosper and multiply like gremlins. We need more like you.
As for the others – listen well, all of you. In 1986, the abuses of the Marcos government reached a point where the people of the Philippines flooded the streets and overthrew the President. In the 18th century, the French proletariat dragged out the nobility and screamed "Off with their heads!"
In twenty-first century Philippines, a revolution is coming. Slowly, we will cast off the shackles of dependence (and learn to ride the MRT). Our powers are great, our numbers legion. We, the ill-treated, much-neglected clientele of the Guild of Bloodsucking Taxi Drivers have had nearly enough. We will not be vanquished, we will not be silenced, and we will not forget.
I’m not a very violent person – but I like the idea of payback. So TWZ144, PYG733 and TVG281, the next time you refuse a fare "kasi wala sa daa n ko," be warned. I don’t forget.
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