Boiling point

We often forget about the luxury of being laidback. Whereas there is a distinct pleasure in lolling around like a million-dollar cat on high-grade catnip in your boxers, let’s not be rude and be what we are in the bedroom as we are in public.

Yes, summer is the time to let your hair down and find time to channel the Talitha Getty/ George Hamilton in you. With sand sprinkled hair, golden skin dewy from the sea mist and all the things a Calvin Klein ad tell you to feel, one must still be fight no matter what.

With everything from couture bikinis to $500 caftans in department stores, these highbrow sins of want are here to tell you that glam is back on the sand. Yes, being laidback requires a bit of a posh attitude in real life. There is absolutely nothing like sequins and satin against palm trees. We are in the middle of a glamour renaissance, the spirit of which has been encapsulated and buried in the ‘50s along with old money.

Being the millennium when everything is fake, looking rich doesn’t mean a Swiss bank account, just excellent taste. Vic Barba and Patrice Ramos-Diaz, show us the way a player should play. Vic Barba mixes the luxurious touches of Eastern fashion with the flattering and casual silhouettes of modern garments, whereas Patrice takes a more organic approach using natural materials, fibers and elements in her pieces. Both collections have a lot of frolic in mind yet are doused with a heavy coat of glamour, resulting in stunning yet wearable pieces.

A soldier never goes to battle without his fatigues, so a fashion steward must never be without stylish sets.

So how do you get that stealth wealth look and not fall into the gauche rich loser trap? Follow these simple steps:

1) Order a simple cocktail. Ordering a bottle of Champagne in the middle of a crowded beach during the day is just kinda sad – not to mention predictable. You can only get away with this if you are on a yacht away from the masses or if it’s your birthday.

2) Keep your makeup simple. No one ever accused Southern Belle Tammy Faye Baker of being chic.

3) Learn about footwear. If you are incredibly talented or pigeon-toed, then wear your Manolos without fear. You are fabulous after all. If you are less gifted, don’t disappear – wedges will keep you afloat.

4) There is a premium in designer sunblock. Aside from being more effective in caring for your skin, the bottles are just so pretty. Makes a perfect pickup line for lobster-like burned hotties.

5) Wear orgasmic shades. Shades are a must if you want to keep the Botox monster away. I personally wear cheap but glamorous ones in the beach, since I lose them every five minutes. Wearing designer shades in the beach are only for the brave and if you are gonna get drunk before noon better keep those McCoys in the room.

6) Have a sweet beach bag. I once saw an outfit raped when an experimental slacker paired a Marc Jacobs sundress with a laundry bag to carry her arsenal. Never ever do that, darling.

7) Be wary of too bright colors. You want to look like that mirage of dreams, meaning the palette should follow earthy tones punched with natural brights. Neon belongs to the fish when you’re snorkeling underwater.

8) Don't be too KSP. If you’re worthy, we’ll all drool. You don’t have to do anything at all.

9) Have great reading material. Leave the self-help books in the bathroom please.

10) It helps to have great company. Toting around an Abercrombie and Fitch cranium-less hunk or babe spells no mirth at all. Bored is never fabulous.