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Crystal balls and Afro hairdos: MTV Pilipinas sidelights and wisecracks | Philstar.com
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Crystal balls and Afro hairdos: MTV Pilipinas sidelights and wisecracks

AUDIOSYNCRASY - Igan D’Bayan -
No way was I sitting next to Guy Sebastian. When I was shown my seat at the recent MTV Pilipinas Awards, the chair beside it had the words "GUY SEBASTIAN" taped to it. That was scary. I have nothing against the Australian idol with big hair and a daffy song about angels, but I preferred a more anonymous spot at the former ULTRA, the site of the 4th MTV Pilipinas Awards. I didn’t want to explain to Guy the logic (or illogic) behind Favorite Female Artist Jolina Magdangal’s fashion sense. How do you explain an enigma like Jolina? More unfortunate was the guy behind Guy. How was he able to manage to see the stage despite the singer’s big black cotton-candy hairdo?

Anyway, lots of must-see things at MTV Pilipinas – considering what an audio-visual feast MTV gigs always are. Also, this year, the show was more fast-paced and entertaining compared to the ones in the past. Allow me to blabber.

The theme for this year’s award show was mysticism. Thus, the stage was littered with candles, crystal balls and other dazzlers. The winners’ names were written on paper lodged inside fortune cookies. There was a David Blaine spoof. Each element foretelling, divining a good time to be had by all – especially those who walked away with an MTV Pilipinas trophy.

Gary V. sang and performed with the Manoeuvres for the seven millionth time. Shout for Joy. Whoopee… What attracted me more was the interaction between the Makiling Ensemble and the Manila Philharmonic Orchestra. Nice interplay and arrangement of an old tune. Bamboo won the Favorite New Artist award, while Maroon 5 was deemed Favorite International Act. Irish pop trio Bellefire performed a cute acoustic ditty. How do I describe their music? Younger, perkier Corrs. The audience, especially the guys in the mosh pit, loved ‘em.

A South Border video was nominated. The video shows the band members smiling in the snow. Strangely, the title of the song is Rainbow. Singing a song about a rainbow in the snow is so silly, according to my girlfriend Becca. Sort of like playing reggae while stranded in the Siberian tundra.

Goth rock purveyors The Late Isabel won Best Indie Video for Doll’s Head. Lead singer Wawi Navarozza was in a funky Cleopatra outfit. In the group’s acceptance speech, guitarist and fellow writer Allan Hernandez thanked every indie band in existence. Nah, Hernandez and the rest of The Late Isabel deserve props for showing uncompromising love for outsider music. Musicians like my friend Allan still pursue those strange and beautiful muses while the rest of us take on conformist jobs. And oh yeah… Long live those who dress up like the dead!

The Viva Hot Babes won for Best Dance Sequence. Andrea Del Rosario and Sheree showed up (yeah, showed) in revealing outfits – almost identical bold-star blouses strategically slashed in the middle, to be more precise. Long live duct tape!

Also nominated was P-4 with the annoyingly catchy Hoochie-Coochie. The Powerboys story embodies the ugly side of the music industry: Dance around wearing only a towel in an anti-BO commercial, dabble into showbiz, record an album, dance like the Backstreet Boys and gently fade into obscurity.

Favorite Male Artist Jay-R danced with the whole basketball team. He won for the song Bakit Pa Ba? The Black Eyed Peas won Favorite International Video for Where is the Love? Nina performed with The Whiplash, singing a medley of tracks from Favorite Female Artist nominees including, uh, Nina. There were twirls, lifting and other interpretative dance basics going on while Nina was singing. I half-expected Alma Moreno in tights to pirouette onto the stage.

Best Use of Open Space award went to – no, not that twilight zone between Eddie Gil’s eyebrows and his hairpiece – but to Paolo Santos’ video for Mapansin.

Chito Miranda of Parokya ni Edgar was really funny as presenter, something that cannot be said about the others. (Their jokes were so lame they needed bone surgery). Jolina Magdangal, who attended the awards in a vomit-green dress, won an award. Somewhere in her house, a window is missing a curtain.

The Falsest Falsetto award went to Akafellas for Bongga Ka Day. No, no, the award is not in honor of the Bee Gees or other artists who suffered horrible groin injuries. Bert De Leon and Diana Zubiri presented the award for Best Director. Zubiri called De Leon a "clow-set racker." Hey, she’s Diana Zubiri. She can do whatever she wants. She has the power to stop traffic in flyovers.

Favorite Group Award went to Bamboo, one of the band’s three awards. As a tribute to the Eraserheads, one of the most influential bands of our generation, MTV got together trendy acoustic musicians Paolo Santos, Jimmy Bondoc and Nyoy Volante together with Barbie’s Cradle for a romp through the Eraserheads discography.

Santos was able to pull off Ligaya. Nyoy was passable with Magasin. Bondoc, no matter if he performed something as brilliant as an Eraserhead composition, was still nasally annoying. Barbie and her band (bassist Rommel de la Cruz, drummer Wendell Garcia and guest guitarist Kakoi Legaspi) were of course exceptional.

Two Idols Guy Sebastian, my supposed-to-be seatmate, and Sarah Geronimo did a duet. Voice box histrionics and cloying lyrics from both. Somewhere, you could hear wineglasses breaking and patience wearing thin.

Gloc 9’s Sayang won the Best Video award. This begged the question, "Who the hell is Gloc 9?" (Hey, I like Rivermaya’s A Love To Share, directed by Quark Henares, with its spacey, moody appeal.) Before that, presenter Aubrey Miles asked the crowd if they wanted her to take off her clothes. What is it about music awards and that boldstar bit about undressing? Too bad since Aubrey, judging from how well she spoke her lines, sounded like a really smart girl. Bamboo closed the show with the hit Noypi. The band jammed with the Manila Philharmonic Orchestra and the Makiling Ensemble, which aptly provided hegalong and kulintang strains to the nationalistic rock tune. (Bamboo Mañalac’s "No control!" rap reminded me of Rage Against the Machine, though.)

For me the best bit of the evening was the segment Dan Michael: Master Musician. Ramon Bautista (one of the funny dudes from the sorely missed Strange Brew TV show on UNTV) spoofed the famously brooding, always-in-black, street magician David Blaine. It was hilarious to see Bautista flub every Blaine card trick in the book. That guy is really funny. I just wish MTV would give Bautista a show of his own, since nothing’s funny on TV anymore.

Especially unfunny is sitting behind a guy with hair as tall as the Tower of Babel.
* * *
Special thanks to MTV Philippines’ Rod Nepomuceno and Lizette Claudio. For comments, suggestions, curses and invocations, e-mail iganja@hotmail.comM.

A LOVE TO SHARE

A SOUTH BORDER

AWARD

DAVID BLAINE

GUY

LATE ISABEL

MTV

NINA

PAOLO SANTOS

PILIPINAS AWARDS

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