Of Ronnie’s love for Nancy and a single’s wedding survival kit

LOS ANGELES – To the male population, he was a sellout, debasing machismo and showing the tender side of masculine pride by writing thoughtful and sappy letters to his wife, Nancy.

Ronald Reagan, the president best remembered as the great communicator, authored romantic notes to mark big and small events throughout their marriage. To celebrate one Valentine’s Day, he wrote: "Feb. 14 may be the date they observe and call Valentine’s Day, but that is for people of ordinary luck. I happen to have a Valentine’s life, which started on March 4, 1952, and will continue as long as I have you."

Another year, he was more creative: "Dear St. Valentine, I’m writing to you about a beautiful young lady who has been in this household for 25 years now come March 4. I have a request to make of you but before doing so I feel you should know more about her. For one thing she has two hearts – her own and mine. I’m not complaining. I gave her mine willingly, and like it right where it is. Her name is Nancy but for some time now I’ve called her Mommie and don’t believe I could change. My request of you is – could you on this day whisper in her ear that someone loves her very much and more and more each day? Also tell her, this ‘Someone’ would run down like a dollar clock without her so she must always stay where she is. Then tell her if she wants to know who that ‘Someone’ is to just turn her head to the left. I’ll be across the room waiting to see if you told her. If you’ll do this for me, I’ll be very happy knowing that she knows I love her with all my heart. Thank you, ‘Someone’."

No matter how far he traveled, as an actor or politician, Mr. Reagan always kept in touch with the love of his life: "Dear First Mommie, I’m in Wyoming, Montana – or Nevada depending on what time you read this. But I’ll be at Camp David at 9:15 p.m. Friday night. I’ll be glad to see you. I miss you – even when I’m asleep. This is a very lonesome place when you are some place else."

Wives turn to their husbands, questioning, "How come I never get letters like that from you?"

Girlfriends turn to their boyfriends, wondering, "Will I ever get at least half a letter like that from this schmuck?" Single women across the earth unite in prayer, their hopes fanned by the story of these letters, "The existence of such a man is possible; and if I’m lucky enough, I’ll have somebody like that." Meanwhile, those who think they’ve hooked "the one" are racing down the aisle. It’s wedding season again. According to industry research, there are approximately 2.4 million weddings each year, and 82 percent occur between May and October. In keeping with the tradition of June Bride, this sixth month of the year holds the distinction of being the busiest.

For the unattached, this means being compelled to: 1) Buy a dress for the occasion (on your own), 2) Buy an expensive gift for the couple (on your own), and 3) Prepare for, attend, navigate toasts, survive intrusive interrogation of well-meaning friends and relatives (on your own). Attending a wedding has no place in a single woman’s to-do list. But if you absolutely have to go, it need not be too taxing either. To get you through this never-ending siege of nuptial nonsense, bear in mind the Single Woman’s Wedding Survival Guide:

Part 1: Preparation – While looking good hardly substitutes for feeling good, looking fabulous compensates quite nicely. You may not be as ecstatic as the bride, but you can definitely be as beautiful. Start with your getup. There are always two choices: the sensible and the wow. If you have to choose between a so-so dress because you can always wear it next time and a winner you may only wear three or four times in your life, I’d say go for the stunner. Besides, you’re single. Essentially, you have no one else to spend your hard-earned dough on but yourself.

Part 2: Provisions – Never go to war ill-equipped. Make sure you’ve got ample supplies of Wedding Survival ABCs: A – Advil or other painkillers, in case you get a headache from the schmaltziness of the whole scene; B – Business cards, in case you meet a cute guy; C – Cell phone, so you can ward off meddling aunts by pretending you’re talking on the phone; D – Double-ply tissues for extra strength (Refer to Part 4, a.); E – Excuse for leaving early.

Part 3: Phrases – Know that you will bump into "well-meaning" relatives and friends who will "unconsciously" ask or say things that will make you want to kill them. Save yourself the hassle of waking up the next day and thinking of things you should have replied with. Here are excellent ammunitions to keep handy:

When they ask why you still don’t have a boyfriend, you can say: "I was dating this guy for a while. Lui è generoso, intelligente, sincero e ricco. (Close your eyes for a brief moment and pause for effect.) He asked me to move to Tuscany with him. But I don’t think I’m ready for that big a commitment yet. (Give a sheepish smile.)"

Or: "Oh, let’s not talk about my uninteresting life, how are you coping with your husband’s philandering?"

Part 4: Proper etiquette – Us singles should follow our own Code of Conduct at weddings. Here are some:

a) Cry me a river. If bitter melancholy engulfs you while your sister/cousin/friend walks down the aisle, let the tears flow as you murmur, "Isn’t she lovely?" At the reception, you could say, "Don’t they make a gorgeous pair?" Sob. Repeat as needed.

b) Drink lightly. I hardly need to tell you that nothing is more pathetic than a drunk single woman.

c) Dance away. Heed the call of the dance floor. So what if no one has asked you to dance yet? Get your own partner and salsa.

d) Socialize. There are people who find weddings as uncomfortable as you do. Find an ally and bond.

Part 5: Private mantras – The first four parts are no fool-proof techniques. Sometimes, bad luck is unavoidable and we find ourselves committing blunders, even though it’s the last thing we need. If you accidentally spill wine on yourself or on others, or you trip on the staircase (which I always do), take a deep breath, smile, excuse yourself, head for the door, and once outside, repeat after me: "I will get through this because I’m gorgeous! I will have a great time!"

Now, step inside with poise and redeem your bruised ego. Never leave after a slip-up or people will remember you for that. Through the craziness of it all, remember to laugh.