The dead shall walk the earth

When there’s no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth." This is Dawn of the Dead’s killer tagline, and the quote that chillingly resonates throughout the 97-minute scare fest, a "re-envisioning" of George A. Romero’s beloved 1979 horror classic of the same name (director Zack Snyder insists it isn’t a remake). Now, living in a cinema world that has endured countless zombie movies over the past 50-plus years (Night of the Living Dead, Pet Sematary, Army of Darkness, Day of the Dead, 28 Days Later, the list could go on forever) you’d think everyone would be immune and would no longer be scared by seeing those limping bodies escaping their graves, their empty eye sockets, the maggots eating their brains – that is, until you see Dawn of the Dead.

Moving the film’s setting from the original’s Pennsylvania to the suburban milieu of Everett, Wisconsin, Dawn’s shocking opening sequence prepares you for the rest of the film by scaring the hell out of you, much like what The Ring did with its opening scenes. Up-and-comer Sarah Polley, who impressed in last year’s indie My Life Without Me, plays Ana, a nurse during an ordinary day at the hospital. But when she gets home to her boyfriend, and after some sex in the shower, they fall asleep, missing a TV news advisory that could’ve saved their lives. Morning breaks, and she awakens in this wasteland: her town is up in flames, chaos has erupted, and zombies are running amok, chasing the remaining humans left. We then find out, in arguably the most frightening opening credits I’ve ever seen, that for the last few hours, a plague has spread throughout the entire world; a zombie bite turns you into one of them, and then you bite another human, continuing the chain. So enough, very few humans are left, and Ana, together with Kenneth (Ving Rhames), a police officer, and a group of others (Jake Weber, Mekhi Phifer, Ty Burrell, Lindy Booth among them) take refuge in an empty shopping mall, doing everything to try to save their lives.

Romero’s original 1979 Dawn, with its paltry budget, was cheap, campy and grainy, and looked like a home movie (reminiscent of the snuff film quality of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre) – and that was exactly what made it so frightening. In contrast, Zack Snyder’s 2004 "re-envisioning" is slick, polished, glossy, and brilliantly stylized, however, also in a very good way. Because the two versions are so visually antonymic, it is very difficult to say which one is better; but if I were to choose, I’d say the Snyder’s. His film is so incredibly terrifying, so horrifically blood-curdling, and yet devilishly funny that it isn’t a dark, gloomy film but a hugely entertaining, fun popcorn horror flick.

Dawn of the Dead isn’t also one to spit on the face of its predecessor. It treats the ’79 bloody masterpiece with the utmost reverence, and takes what the original did and takes it further; the modern atmosphere gives the film a sense of tangibility and urgency, a more extreme, weirder version of the "Omigod! What if this happens?!" feeling everyone experienced when they saw The Day After Tomorrow. James Gunn’s screenplay is hilarious, snappy, and witty, and Snyder utilizes interesting shots to capture his characters.

Dawn is so scary, don’t be surprised if you have the urge walk out right after the first scene and yet don’t, since it is remarkably compelling and arresting. (By the way, don’t leave till the final credits are over if you want to see the real ending.)

Bottom Line: Arguably the scariest movie in years, Dawn of the Dead is impossibly terrifying, and yet wickedly funny.

Grade: A

To-Do List

Movies

•Watch Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Finally, the countdown’s over and Harry & Co. are back for a third go-around against evil.

•Watch Dawn of the Dead, which opens June 9th.

•Watch The Ladykillers, which also opens June 9th. Tom Hanks stars in the Coen Brothers’ latest hilarious dark comedy about a group of burglars whose latest heist is foiled by a seemingly innocent old lady.

CDs

•Listen to So-Called Chaos by Alanis Morissette. I consider Alanis Morissette one of the greatest poets of our time, and consider her brilliant 1995 debut Jagged Little Pill the best female rock album ever made. Her latest, So-Called Chaos, still doesn’t compare to Pill, but is still beautiful, emotionally poetic, and a shows a less angry Alanis sing about finding (not losing) love.

•Listen to Under My Skin by Avril Lavigne. For two years I couldn’t wait for Avril’s next album, and with Under My Skin, she doesn’t succumb to the curse of the sophomore jinx. This album is more emotional than Let Go, with its straight-out-of-a-diary lyrics that Avril penned herself (friend Chantal Kreviazuk co-wrote half the album with her) and the always-catchy melodies.

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For comments, e-mail me at lanz_gryffindor@yahoo.com.