Who nose?

Hi Marc,

I’ve been contemplating getting rhinoplasty for the longest time, as I have a very pug nose (in Filipino terms, pango) which I have exceptional trouble dealing with. This may sound big, but I honestly think that having this fixed would make me feel better about myself. I was wondering whether I have to live with this social stigma? On my own, I wouldn’t give a damn about the rest of the world. I’m a guy, by the way. Thanks.

Nose Diving

From the sounds of it you’ve pretty much already made the decision to go ahead and have the operation and just need my help to justify it to everyone else. Don’t worry, I’m not going to give you a hard time. Many Pinoys (and Pinays) are less than pleased with parts of their looks, and apart from the usual complaint of being overweight etc., being "nasally challenged" is probably the most common part of their body they’d like to have fixed. Many traditionally Pinoy noses are somewhat flatter and broader than those of our foreign counterparts, and in a country where the idea of beauty is often geared towards the mestizo look, a lot of people would like to have a longer ilong.

OK, so you just happen to be one of those people. I’m not going to discourage you from getting a nose job, but I will ask you to take a good long look at yourself (not just in the mirror). Are you sure this is what you want? Your nose may make you self-conscious, but you should make sure there are no subliminal reasons that you’re unhappy with your looks or anything else. In other words, are you positive that having this surgery is going to make you a happier person? Or are you then going to look at other parts of your body and decide that you now don’t like the color of your eyes? Or you’re a bit chubby and maybe need to get your teeth straightened? How about the color of your skin? Is it too dark for you? Where will it all end? You have to be very careful about falling into the Michael Jackson vanity trap where you start looking like someone (or something) else completely.

So how do you decide where and when to stop what could turn out to be a never-ending spiral of plastic surgery? I think you should maybe set yourself a limit, especially if you don’t want people to start thinking you’re a bit of a Frankenstein who’s constantly changing his appearance. Tell yourself that you’re going to stop the surgical improvements after your nose job. If your teeth need straightening, then braces are fine. If you need to lose weight then I suggest hitting the gym and going on a diet. If you think you’re too dark then stay out of the sun and use some whiteners if you really want to although I personally think a decent tan looks great on a person (visit Europe, Australia or the Americas and watch everyone at the beach trying to achieve a Pinoy’s dark shade of skin).

What it all really comes down to is self-confidence. Obviously your nose is presently affecting how you feel about yourself, but you need to remember that having a longer nose won’t automatically make you less shy or a more popular person. What it may do is make you feel a bit more confident about your appearance, but don’t go into the surgery room thinking you’ll come out with instant charisma. You’ll still be the same person, just with an altered appearance. How you let it affect you and your lifestyle will really depend on you.

Another factor to consider is cost. Is this an operation you can really afford? It’s not something that is covered under any medical insurance policy as it is classified as an elective surgery. This means it is not a surgical necessity like a heart transplant which is needed for health reasons. How much can you afford for your vanity? If it means not buying that new cellphone, then yes, you can probably afford it. But if it means not being able to pay for your basic bills or college tuition, then no, you certainly can’t afford it. As financial priorities go, it should be fairly low on your list (somewhere below paying off your car but above buying a Gucci sweater for your dog).

As for the social stigma, yes, there will be some, but only those close to you will really notice I think. Workmates, good friends and family (and I would hope that they would understand for your sake). People who don’t see you that often might notice you look a bit different, but may not be able to figure out exactly what it is. If you really want to throw them off the track, couple it with a new hairstyle or something else noticeable and maybe they’ll think that is the reason rather than your nose job. If people do comment on it, just be honest and admit you had one. If you’re not embarrassed about the fact it will become less of a big deal. Of course there will always be some people who will keep asking why, but just because it’s not something they would do doesn’t mean you should feel differently about it. As you yourself said, if it was up to you, you wouldn’t give a damn what the rest of the world said. So don’t. Mind you, with your "I don’t give a damn" attitude it makes me wonder why you want to get this done in order to conform with the rest of the world’s idea of beauty in the first place. Something to think about, huh? Just make sure that if you do go through with it, you’re doing it for the right reasons and realize it is only a superficial solution to any confidence issues you may have.

Marc

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