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The Matrix franchise has been nothing less than a cultural phenomenon. It was even able to do what Flashdance did in the ‘80s – redefine, influence and affect a whole generation. Trinity’s famed slow-mo kick now known to millions as much as Jennifer Beals’ What a Feeling audition dance (both spoofed hundreds of times, the latter by the likes of Jennifer Lopez). The Matrix has been a cornerstone for every other action movie that has come after it, and with its creators, the Wachowski brothers, completely revolutionized the whole cinematic perception of what an action film should be, and even look like. Considering the commercial and critical success of the first Matrix, we expected so much from last May’s Reloaded. Alas, it turned out to be one of the biggest letdowns of the year – that is, until The Matrix Revolutions.

The third and supposedly last installment of the Matrix trilogy picks up exactly where the second one left off. With Neo (played by the always wooden Keanu Reeves) trapped between the real world and the Matrix, chances of saving Zion from the machines are looking slim. It’s now up to Trinity (Carrie-Ann Moss) and Morpheus (Lawrence Fishburne), with the help of Seraph, to rescue Neo from captivity. Once they do, Neo, in Jesus-like fashion, must finally grant Zion the salvation that was promised, with Agent Smith – I mean the Agent Smiths – in the way.

The Matrix Revolutions suffers mainly from its terrible plot. The Wachowskis, evidently, have sadly succumbed to what George Lucas also had when penning The Phantom Menace – they compensated for the lack of good narrative dexterity and skill with dazzling special effects. Reloaded was full of plot holes, and we thought they’d be resolved with this film. Not only did Revolutions not answer all our questions, but the Wachowski brothers even drilled more holes into an already feeble plot.

Even the unnecessarily overly philosophical dialogue and intentionally obvious quotable quotes make the awful acting seem purposely dreadful. Everyone, from Morpheus, Trinity, the Agent Smiths, and especially Neo act so annoyingly robotic that you would doubt if they were even human themselves. (Has there even been a movie in which Keanu Reeves didn’t act wooden? Let’s see: The Matrix trilogy, no. Sweet November, no. Speed, no, I guess not.) And have they ever been able to say a single syllable without saying it so passionately and slowly, pronouncing it like they were reciting some damn speech?

Sadly, The Matrix Revolutions hasn’t been able to redeem itself from the disappointment that was The Matrix Reloaded. And I do think that Revolutions is the worst of the three films. It did’t have the superb revolutionary story and contemplative narrative complexity of the first, and it didn’t have the sleek, clean-cut, exhilarating car chase sequence and other cool action scenes from the second (those twins!) Sure, Revolutions has the most special effects, but they use it so much that it doesn’t seem exciting anymore. The epic man-against-machine war sequence is truly amazing, but there’s no doubt that The Matrix Revolutions is one big virus-infested mess.

Bottom line: Delete.

Grade: C

To Do List Movies

• Don’t watch Wrong Turn. Seeing this cheap, teen gross-out horror flick in New York last May, I was expecting the Blair Witch-Texas Chainsaw Massacre hybrid the trailer promised. Unfortunately, all it was were a few shoddy scared and a lot of blood, brains and more blood. Just save your money for the well-made and really terrifying Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, being released here in the Philippines in probably a month or two.

CDs

• Listen to "Measure of a Man" by Clay Aiken. This album proves Clay really should’ve won American Idol’s second season, not bound-to-die-of-a-heart-attack Reuben Studdard. The ballad-laden album perfectly complements his powerful built-for-Broadway voice, and will surely leave Reuben’s "Soulful" (released this November) in the dust.

• Listen to "Coverage" by Mandy Moore. Trying to shed her bubblegum pop, A Walk to Remember image, Mandy Moore dedicated a whole album to covers of songs from the ‘70s and ‘80s, hence the title. Though songs like Blondie’s One Way or Another sound awkward when sung with her sweet, angelic voice, the rest of the album, especially songs such as Have a Little Faith in Me, show Moore is truly maturing.

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For comments, questions and suggestions, e-mail me at lanz_gryffindor@yahoo.com.