It was weird how at first, I felt that this diploma, this piece of paper, would be something that would set me free from the whole "routine-ness" of high school living. Initially, this diploma signified the absence of the early mornings that I could never wake up for, long, long nights of homework that seemed endless and tiresome; falling asleep in class because of a boring lecture (or from lack of sleep), and being extremely wired on caffeine from Coca-Cola by the time the lunch bell rang. My whole outlook on what this diploma means, though, took a 360-degree-turn the second that piece of paper touched my hands. I got the diploma, sat down in my chair, and just spaced-out, drifted away some place else.
In my chair on graduation day, I forgot all the times that I got into detention for waking up late and being tardy for school. I forgot about dying to go to sleep late at night because a paper, portfolio or essay kept me up. I completely disregarded the extreme caffeine highs that had unbelievable lows (that just made me move in slow motion) I experienced almost everyday. I told myself: "Just forget about all that. College is gonna throw that stuff at you again, so just chill."
So I did.
I realized that high school threw quite a bit of "crap" at me. Aside from that, however, I also realized that the only reason I was never really affected by everything that was thrown at me was because I possessed a shield of good vibes. The shield consisted of several things: I had the support I needed from my family, I had teachers who were very understanding, and I had friends who were there for both the good and bad times. Honestly, I never quite understood why every other high school graduate out there gave props to family, friends, and teachers. Now, however, it’s a bit clearer and I can see why: These graduates gave props to the people who constituted their "shields" as well. Its funny how everything becomes so sentimental after graduating from high school. I dunno, maybe that’s just me.
So I was still on my seat. I left that plane of expanded thought momentarily and get back to being attentive because there is applause for an award that had been given. I found myself applauding as well, and I was no longer as spaced-out. Then another silence occurred in my head, and I found myself in another part of my memory banks. Images dating back to 1989, my first days at school, flashed in front of me. Gradually, I saw pivotal or rather hilarious occurrences that happened to me throughout the years I had been in school. I remembered when I had to perform an original song and dance composition wearing a homemade crocodile costume in third grade because I didn’t do my homework in English class for a whole month. The thought of the time I first made a move on a girl in fifth grade (and totally embarrassed myself, har har) made my cheeks all warm and I could feel them getting red up there on the stage. I remembered when I started to become more "mature" or whatever it is, and everything had new meaning. Much like how the countless detentions, reprimands, and letters of apology were no longer a chore or a punishment, but a lesson learned and a way to practice my writing skills. A million images of my now-finished school life were crystal clear in my head up there on the stage.
Sentimental? Yes, I believe so.
The time had now come. We had sung our tribute to our school; we received our awards; we received our diplomas; and we were acknowledged as graduates. I left the spacey realm and left the memories as they were because I wanted them to live in me in exactly that way.
I know that coming back to everything that had happened to me so far will bring a ray of light into any dark situation; no matter where, and caused by no matter who. These will keep me strong. These will make me happy when I need it most.
So here I am, fresh out of high school and confident about whatever awaits me. I have every reason to be so: The people, the memories will never leave. They are always going to be there.
Thanks.