Are you going through a quarterlife crisis?

There are some things that college just doesn’t prepare you for. The real world for one. Young but stressed, doubtful, even confused – that’s how people in their 20s have generally been described. And if adults go through a midlife crisis (one wag says it’s that stage in life when you grow in the middle), there is such a thing as a quarterlife crisis for young people.

Of course, you ask, "How can people so young have a crisis?" You knit your brows and exclaim, "I thought the 20s was the best time of one’s life!"

Confused? Well, this definition may help: Quarterlife crisis is a condition involving feelings of confusion, anxiety, self-doubt usually haunting people in their 20s, especially those fresh out of college. According to Dr. Metzel, subordinate professor of clinical psychology at the University of Kansas and Missouri, the twenty- to thirtysomethings, young as they are, are already beset by problems hounding 50-year-olds.

This could be due to the following reasons, according to Karen Peterson of USA Today: Economic setback, college loans, living with parents, job hopping, parents’ marriage gone bad, mental health glitches.

Let’s go over them one by one:

• Economic setback. Back then, when the economy was good and jobs were aplenty, eager graduates landed jobs right after graduation. Now, it could take a year (or two or more) to get employed in the kind of job you studied for (some settle for being underemployed while others go back to school and take up another course if they can afford it). Things just fell apart after the Internet bubble burnt.

• College loans. Those who cannot afford college may end up with a huge debt by the time they graduate. Thus, after college, whatever money they manage to earn is spent paying back loans, leaving little for daily subsistence.

• Job hopping. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, a majority of people between 18 and 24 years old today hold two or more jobs at the same time. But although more technology-related jobs are now available, employment screening has also become tighter. An applicant is expected to know all there is to know and not require any training when he/she walks into an office.

• Living in parents’ house. Most young people dream of moving into their own place, to live their own lives. But of course, it’s much cheaper to dream than to live away from your parents.

• Parents’ marriage gone bad. If there’s one lesson young adults learn from their parents’ broken marriage, it is this: Live together now, marry later. Apparently, it is much harder for live-in fresh grads to start a new life together and make ends meet.

• Mental health glitches. Believe it or not, more and more people in their 20s are seeking therapy or help for mental problems.

You get out of college bright-eyed and hopeful and suddenly, you find yourself in a vague plateau. Life is not what you pictured it to be. Now, you’re seeing the bigger picture.

You learn one lesson the hard way: Too much freedom can be scary. You desperately try to meet expectations from both those dear to you and other people and you only end up frustrated. There are just too many questions, and just when you find the answers to them, the questions are changed. You start to doubt yourself – your abilities, decisions, competitiveness, likelihood to succeed, even your mental capacity. Your eyes, once glowing with hope, are now brimming with tears of pain and frustration.

What are the symptoms of this so-called quarterlife crisis?

According to researchers, the symptoms include depression, a lot of self-doubt, loneliness, and an overwhelming feeling of incapability. Those going through a quarterlife crisis also become a little too self-conscious, comparing themselves to people their age. They feel down when they hear news of a successful twentysomething rising on his/her own steam. Somehow, the message they get is: You’re a failure. Of course, this is not exactly true as it is really more of a dilemma.

Yes, the quarterlife crisis throws quarterlifers into a bigger-than-life dilemma. The endless questioning persists. The questions become harsher and harsher, and eventually, more and more cruel. Then comes the feeling of being derailed. These questions suddenly start nagging you to death: "When will my life come together? Why do I feel so unsuccessful? Where did I go wrong? I thought I had it all figured out."

As in most mental crises, it’s comforting to know that you are not alone. Hindi ka nag-iisa! What you’re experiencing is not unique to yourself. Maybe it will also help if you rethink your perceptions of the real world. Remember the old cliche life is no picnic? It really isn’t. The paths of life are not paved with roses. You’re bound to make mistakes along the way, to fall, to fail. But sometimes, the paths least taken may just lead you to a whole wonderful world of possibilities. Follow your dreams or spend your adult life regretting that you didn’t even try to reach for that elusive star.

If you need more guidance on the subject, there’s a book titled Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties by Alexandra Robbins and Abby Wilner. Back then, the authors realized that this miserable experience had gone unreported so they decided to bring it out in the open. Even today, it’s not something that’s discussed in the classroom.

Welcome to the club, all ye quarterlifers!

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E-mail me at ice_wave_42@ yahoo.com.