Face your problem

Dear Mai Mai, China and Tingting,

I am a medical student seeking your help on how to build one’s confidence in the face of physical embarrassment. My problem is that I have a moderate case of acne and I am using certain medications for it. However, having acne has caused real damage to my self-esteem. I can’t help but feel absolutely embarrassed by it! I try to avoid going out as much as possible, especially meeting up with my relatives who never fail to remark, "Anong nangyari sa mukha mo?" Even my mother says that to me! When I see familiar faces in the mall, I try to avoid being seen so I won’t have to greet them. I also avoid being under bright lights because I know people will see my acne in full color. Every time I wake up and look at the mirror, I feel so ashamed. Please help me, what can I do to feel better about myself? How can I fight the shame of it all? — Mar C.

Good skin doesn’t make a person great. It may boost self-confidence, but there is so much more to a person than his physical attributes. I am sorry that you feel inadequate because of your skin ailment but you must concentrate on showing off your strong points rather than feeling inferior because of your bad skin. Remember, there are people who have more grave deficiencies than your the handicap, for example yet are able to rise up and gain respect from other people. It’s really up to you. — Mai Mai

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s only acne — a common skin disorder that has a cure. I am not a dermatologist but I can give you some practical tips on how not to aggravate your present acne problem. First, make absolutely sure that your hands are clean every time you touch your face. Second, don’t squeeze or touch your acne EVER! Third, re-think your diet. Get into a vegetarian diet if possible. Cut down on cigarettes and caffeine. Get enough sleep and get some exercise. Finally, visit a dermatologist. They will suggest over-the-counter medications first and if your condition doesn’t clear up, they might need to prescribe a combination of stronger antibiotics until they find the right ones to which your skin will respond. It’s only a matter of time before you find the right medication for this skin problem. — China

I am sure you’ve heard of the axiom "All the beauty of the world ’tis only skin deep." I agree with you that society has put too much significance on how a person looks rather than what the person is. But you know, I think it is how you project yourself that will really matter in the end. I’ve seen so many not-so-beautiful men and women who are oozing with sex appeal and confidence. What radiate are things that lie deep within — his heart, his intentions, his intelligence and his kindness. Be a good person. It’s what really counts. — Tingting

* * * Teacher knows best?

Dear Mai Mai, China and Tingting,

Our class adviser decided to randomly pick our roommates. She won’t listen to any of our pleas. Is there any other way to convince her? — Al

Well, the class can unanimously vote to talk to the teacher so that she will accede to your pleas. I know that it will be hard if your roommates are randomly chosen for you but I guess your teacher has a purpose for this. Call it a test if you want, but really, rooming with somebody that is not your choice is a test of character, patience and endurance. It’s not a bad thing, so I propose you let it go and forget about her deaf ears. — Mai Mai

Your letter was so short and you didn’t give out enough details. Is this for an out-of-town field trip, a recollection perhaps, or for a dormitory? Will this be long term or for a weekend only? If it’s for an excursion, the teacher should have given you enough leeway to choose your own roommate...it is for a fun trip anyway. If it is for a field trip or a recollection, maybe, it is an opportune time for you to learn new things and being with new people could be the start. If it’s for a dorm and rooming with this person you hardly know or like is long term, maybe you can discuss it with your teacher privately so as not to hurt other people’s feelings. — China

Maybe rooming with someone randomly chosen for you is a good idea. It is a chance for you to widen your horizons and let more people into your life. It is part of the learning process. You discover other people’s quirks and, at the same time, you test your level of tolerance. I suggest you try it her way first and adjust to the situation. You might even be surprised with the results. — Tingting

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