The Spanish castle magic of the MTV Europe Music Awards

Who will walk home with those glittery Moonman trophies in this year’s MTV Europe Music Awards in Barcelona, Spain? Who will walk home with nothing but a mushrooming void in their hearts? Who will churn out the most kick-ass performance? (Remember Nirvana’s fiery set and Krist Novoselic being hit on the head by a hurled bass?) Who will end their set not with a bang but with a whimper? (Guns N’ Roses’ recent "reunion" comes to mind.) Who will attend the event in an asinine outfit this year? (Remember Moby’s red carpet suit or Li’l Kim’s busty tube blouse or Black Crowe Chris Robinson’s hashish pants or Tommy Lee’s New York subway exhibitionist attire — nothing but a trenchcoat, a stupid hat and a creepy smile.) Only the Fates (those blind, bumbling hags written about by scribes such as the ancient Greeks, Shakespeare, and Neil Gaiman) know at this point.

The 9th annual ceremony will be held at Palau Sant Jordi on Nov. 14 and everyone involved is all psyched up for the rock, pop, dance, R&B circus that is the MTV Music Awards’ more eclectic and more diverse European counterpart.

The bad boy of rap — Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, the rapper/producer formerly known as Puff Daddy — will host this year’s show which is expected to draw 10,000 attendees. No need to tell readers who the hell P. Diddy is. Sean Combs broke into people’s consciousness by rehashing the Police’s Every Break You Take, adding Faith Evans’ vocals, an insistent backbeat and his "uh, uh" rap into the mix.

It would be interesting to see how Diddy would fare as host for the awards show, considering its American incarnation has had a steady diet of comedian-hosts — such as Bette Midler, Dana Carvey, Jack Black, the Wayans (who were hilarious in their Macy Gray spoof).

A closely-fought contest the show promises to be since there are six artists leading the pack with four nominations apiece.

Eminem who cuts an irreverent figure in the musical landscape is nominated for Best Male, Best Hip Hop, Best Album for "The Eminem Show" and Best Video for Without Me. Those who dismissed Eminem as nothing but an angry Vanilla Ice are probably eating crow right now because of the success reaped by Marshall Mathers. And that includes this writer.

Colplay was able to diss the sophomore jink with its album "A Rush of Blood to the Head." The band garnered four nominations — Best Group, Best Album for "A Rush of Blood," Best Rock and Best UK & Ireland Act. Chris Martin’s Coldplay is slated to perform at Palau Sant Jordi, and what an aural treat that would be.

And there’s the ageless wonder called Kylie Minogue, who just wrapped up a European tour after releasing the smash album called "Fever." The Aussie pop pixie is nominated for Best Female, Best Album for "Fever," Best Dance and Best Pop.

Enrique Iglesias, Pink and Shakira are also vying for four MTV awards this year.

The performances promise to be an eyeful, what with Christina Aguilera, Wyclef Jean and Robbie Williams on the list. Presenters for this year include Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry, Spanish supermodel Esther Cañadas, Holly Valance, Sugababes, Nick Carter and Tiziano Ferro. Brent Hansen, president and chief executive of MTV Networks Europe says that this year’s show will be the biggest and most exciting one, and will "reflect the true musical taste of Europe’s youth."

The nominess for this year are: Coldplay, Linkin Park, No Doubt, Red Hot Chili Peppers and U2 for Best Group; Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Kylie, Pink and Shakira for Best Female; Busta Rhymes, Eminem, Ja Rule, Nelly and P. Diddy for Best Hip Hop; Ashanti, Alica Keys, Beyoncé Knowles, J. Lo and Mary J. Blige for Best R&B; DB Boulevard, Kylie, Moby, Royksopp and Sophie Ellis Bextor for Best Dance; Korn, Linkin Park, POD, Puddle of Mudd, System of a Down for Best Hard Rock; Anastacia, Enrique Iglesias, Kylie, Pink and Shakira for Best Pop.

Whew. Yup, truly a stellar list for MTV fanatics. Let me rattle off more:

Eminem, Enrique Iglesias, Lenny Kravitz, Nelly and Robbie Williams will shoot it out for Best Male; Enrique Iglesias’ Hero, Nelly’s Hot in Herre, Nickelback’s How You Remind Me, Pink’s Get The Party Started and Shakira’s Whenever, Wherever for Best Song; Avril Lavigne, The Calling, Royksopp, Shakira and the Strokes for Best New Act; Coldplay’s "A Rush of Blood to the Head," Eminem’s "The Eminem Show," Kylie’s "Fever," No Doubt’s "Rock Steady" and Pink’s "Missundaztood" for Best Album; Bon Jovi, Coldplay, Nickelback, Red Hot Chili Peppers and U2 for Best Live Act; Basement Jaxx’s Where’s Your Head At?, Eminem’s Without Me, Primal Scream’s Miss Lucifer, Royksopp’s Remind Me and The White Stripes’ Fell in Love with a Girl" for Best Video.

European acts are also vying for Best Nordic Act, Best French Act, Best Italian Act, Best Polish Act, Best Romanian Act and Best UK & Ireland Act, among others.

All I want is for the Strokes to beat Shakira. That would be neat.

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For comments, suggestions, curses and invocations, e-mail iganja@hotmail.com.