What's the pick-up line that really works?

(Editor’s note: Starting this issue, we have Marc Nelson for some man-to-man talk. Born in Sydney, Australia where he finished B.S. Social Anthropology at Macquarie University, Marc who is an athlete, model and TV host (Sports Unlimited, ABS-CBN) has been in the Philippines long enough (he studied at the International School in Makati while his parents were posted in the Philippines by Asian Development Bank) to understand Tagalog and the Filipino psyche. He describes himself as a world traveler who left Australia with a backpack many years ago and considers himself still on vacation. One day he hopes to grow up and get a real job).

Dear Marc,

There are many trite and classic pick-up lines. So tell me, what’s the one that works best? I always get tongue-tied when I see a pretty girl. — Paulo M.

"If I tell you you have a great body, will you hold it against me?" The reason most classic pick-up lines seem trite and overused is because that’s exactly how they become classic — by being used by everyone. Chances are that most girls you have your eye on have already heard them. In other words, ditch the old lines and come up with something innovative. Before that though, make sure you get some eye contact going. That’s even more important than the opening line! If you can get an eye-contact smile out of her more than a couple of times, there’s a good chance that she’d like to meet you too (unless she’s really short-sighted and you’re really unlucky!). If that’s the case, confidence and honesty work best. Just go up and introduce yourself if there’s no mutual friend to do it for you. ‘Hi, I’m so-and-so’ might take some guts, but you know you’re not offending anyone and it starts a conversation. Just remember, a girl likes laughter more than looks in the long run... so once you start talking, keep her amused and interested. Good luck, bro! —Marc

* * * I’m So Vain — Am I Abnormal?

To Marc Nelson,

I’m so vain — I love dressing up, shopping for clothes, etc. — my girlfriend’s beginning to suspect I’m gay. I take longer than her to decide what to wear. But I tell you, I’m not gay. Am I abnormal? — Johnny Bravo

Yes, you are terribly abnormal and should visit a psychiatrist for your narcissistic tendencies. Ha ha, just kidding! Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of vanity, even in a guy. I’ll be the first to admit that I like to shop, care about how I look, and enjoy getting dressed up for the right occasion. However, this doesn’t mean wearing a tuxedo to the mall. Everything in moderation.

Your girlfriend shouldn’t worry too much about your dress sense being the harbinger of you becoming gay until you start borrowing her gowns and make-up.

But seriously, if you want, try some reverse psychology. Dress like a complete slob in the grungiest and most smelly clothes you have, with dishevelled hair on your next date, maybe for dinner with her parents? I’m sure she’ll gladly, welcome back the old dressy you pretty quick!!! — Marc

* * * How Long Should Courtship Be?

Dear Marc,

I come from a conservative family where we were taught old-fashioned values. Now I wonder: How long should courtship be? My friends go out with a girl they like, then the next day, they’re on! — Dennis R.

Ooh boy! Gee, are you sure you’re asking the right guy here? I’m pretty vocal on my non-conservative nature at times. Well, courtship for me is not really so much an issue. Nor should it be set to any specific length of time. I know that here in the Philippines it is very traditional for a guy to court a girl and her family for a long time etc., but I’ve always advocated becoming friends first. Sure, it’s OK to go on dates etc., but a lot of times in a formal setting you don’t get to know the real person behind the courtship mask.

So often I’ve heard friends complain about their significant others "but he/she wasn’t like that when we were courting!!!"

In other words, be true to yourself and show her the real you over whatever period of time it takes. Don’t use tradition or your friends as any measure of how long you should get to know each other before you’re an item.

When it feels right, you’ll both know. If not, at least you now have a good female friend to give you advice next time. — Marc

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Send your questions to question_marc@hotmail.com.