Becoming a young dad

I could not believe that I accidentally enrolled in a comic book writing course in school. The word comic brings to mind an old high school bud that I might say has a way with the pen, pencil, and paintbrush, whatever. Our friendship is kinda weird though; back in high school we were close but not that close. So after class and while laughing at myself for getting into this mess I immediately texted him just to let him know what I had gotten into.

I was surprised when he immediately replied (I only waste my one peso worth of text on him and most of the time he does not even reply), the text message read, "Pare, I’m a proud father of a bouncing baby girl!!! Tito Luis!!!" I was more shocked about seeing the word tito because tito has always meant that a person is old. I rather like having kuya next to my name instead (hehehe). But nah, it wasn’t that, it was because for the first time I experienced what being shocked and ecstatic at the same time felt like.

It was quite weird because I was leaping inside when I learned the news, as if I was the dad as well, a feeling I never have experienced, of course. It’s not everyday that you feel genuinely happy (not because you are forced to) for a friend, most of the time it’s the other way around, you’re genuinely happy because something good has happened to you. Being selfish is part of human nature, I guess.

I said to myself, "God, my friends are having babies already!!!" Actually only two of them have had babies already. I knew that this was bound to happen in the future; I just didn’t think that the future would come so soon. I was more shocked though when I learned that he got married a few months back. We hadn’t talked for more than a year, and out of the blue a friend just told me that I had an invitation to their wedding; now that really caught me off guard.

When it comes to young parents, we normally hear about the young moms, not the young dads. And not a lot of people are aware of that the title, young dad. Being a young father has its downside, no thanks to a lot of irresponsible young guys out there, after well… you know, and the girl gets pregnant, accidentally. Then the guy suddenly has lost his "balls" and the next thing you know he’s flying over the Pacific (a sudden loss of machismo so to speak).

But having known my friend for eight years (we’re high school buds, remember?), I have this feeling he will be a good father. He has a sense of maturity that you don’t find usually in a lot of people my age.

Though we had been friends for many years, we never really hung out together. But last week, when his baby was just six days old, we finally went out. I wouldn’t really call it a gimmick because he needed to be home and do his daddy duties. So we just grabbed a quick snack, talked, had a tall mocha frap and we were off — it lasted all of two hours max. Not bad for a first date… ah I mean a first go. (Hehehe)

In those two hours we tried to pack in everything that happened to us over the last four years since high school graduation. It seemed we never really had anything in common — though we didn’t do what conventional friends did, it was weird but we still bonded.

Needless to say the gap between us widened after we left high school. It was kinda weird — the reason we clicked in school was because our mood swings met half way. We hated the same people, we liked the same people. And we didn’t really talk much. But a lot has changed: he isn’t anti-social anymore. An example — he remembered my birthday when he used to be known for always forgetting everybody’s birthday. So that came as quite a shock.

I listened to him rave about his daughter. The night before, he said, he did not sleep a wink because he just watched her sleep. The day I got the good news, I called him up but his mom told me that he was asleep after having stayed awake the whole night at the hospital. As I talked to his mom I could sense the excitement and joy of a first time grandmother — I don’t really talk to the moms of my friends, it’s a shyness thing I guess. And what is good about it is that, unlike in other similar circumstances where the unexpected grandparents may seem a bit uneasy because there is another mouth to feed, here I could feel the happiness — a good omen for sure.

Actually his mom said her granddaughter has brought a lot of surprises. She came before she was supposed to be due, and they were expecting her to be a boy. It was quite a shock to me that they were already considering my name and all the other names of our friends as possible choices for the name of their baby. I’ve never encountered that before. Just to be considered is a big honor already.

In that short two hours of hanging out, my friend told me what kind hell he had to go through after learning that his girlfriend was pregnant. Words cannot explain how grave it was for him. But the good thing is that his troubles are over. All I can see is a lot of happiness and hope for the couple. He has been raving about how much his in-laws love him (yes, you read it right). How many married people these days can confidently say that they love their in-laws? Though it’s sad that during my friend’s hard times a lot of people turned their backs on him. But as things have turned out, I still can’t believe I am among the people standing behind him today. I’m so glad that I enrolled in that comic book writing class.

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Email me at ketsupluis@hotmail.com