On one of the episodes, Oprah Winfrey had a writer named Joe Kita for a guest. He wrote a book called "Another Shot" where he detailed his efforts to live a life without regret. Some of the things he did there were cute (like asking a college crush out to dinner – 20 years later – because he did not have enough guts to do so when they were younger) and the others downright weird (like hiring a butler for a week to know how a billionaire feels like). However, he was able to make a good point: all of us have something that we wish we had done differently. Not everything is as peachy as we would hope but we can minimize the bungling that we do if we live consciously. We need to be aware of how we act, talk and feel in order for life opportunities not to pass us by.
The show made me think about all the things I regret not doing. Wow, there were several! I decided to make a list of every activity that I started but never got to finish, every person I never got to know better, every place I have never been to, all the opportunities that I did not grab.
Maybe a higher power was trying to get a message to me. Last weekend I saw (for the ninth time!) my favorite film, Dead Poets Society. If there is one movie every human being should see, it is this. "Carpe diem!" was my battle cry for God knows how long after I watched the lives and loves of students in upscale Welton. I began to think if there was a John Keating (played superbly by Robin Williams) in my life but I couldn’t find a teacher who inspired me as much he did those brats in that fictitious prep school. I figured I would be my own John Keating and steer my pathetic little life to the direction of the great and the foolhardy. I would "seize the day" and "suck the marrow out of life"!
As the years went by, I went back to being my passive self and let depression and lack of emotional control get the better of me.
I know that one day, I, too, will be fertilizing daffodils. I pray that before I go home to my maker, I would have lived the life that all of us deserve. A life without regret.
Of course, there are dreams that we will never get to fulfill. We can’t all be supermodels and astronauts but we can learn to play an instrument or take up a sport if we never got to do that when we were younger. We could go to someone we had a fight with and reconcile with him or her. We could go singing in a karaoke bar even if our voice sounds more like a croak than a croon. We could tell someone we love how we feel regardless of the outcome.
As for me, I will spend less time doing the things I don’t want and hanging out with people who make me feel bad about myself. I will learn from criticism and take what I think is true. As for the rest of the crap that people might throw at me, I will just shrug it off and revel in the thought that no one can make me feel awful enough to hate myself. A friend of mine said I should make the most fun I can out of life because I only have one. She’s absolutely correct.
First things first. I should learn how to swim.
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