Never lose yourself

It could be from watching too much Oprah, or the thought of hitting 30 in the not-too-distant future. Whatever the case, I’m beginning to realize more and more that in the race for being better or best, what’s important is not to lose one’s sense of being. Without trying to be too philosophical about it, risking the mortification of my Philosophy professors at the Ateneo University by saying something completely idiotic, there is simply more to life than just trying to outdo each other all the time.

I am an all-time proponent of carpe diem thinking, especially after watching the inspiring 1990s hit movie, Dead Poets Society, where a prep-school teacher played by Robin Williams encourages his students to "seize the day and live life to its fullest." But this does not mean fighting tooth and nail for everything and anything, eventually losing yourself to life’s "little battles." Yes, we should all strive for excellence, maximize our potentials and push the barriers of our limited capabilities. We should go faster, jump higher and be the best that we can be — but not at the expense of losing our self.

Certainly, there are many things in life worth fighting for. In the same way that there are things worth losing sleep (even your appetite) over — a failed relationship, unrequited love, bad investments, unfulfilled dreams, etc. But there is nothing worth losing one’s dignity over. Nothing.

There comes a time when we just have to let things be. We cannot always be afraid of losing or admitting that we are wrong. After 20 years in sports, I have learned that in every game (the game of life included) there is always a winner — and it isn’t always me. Yet having lost more than won, I am still here. Losing cannot kill a person, unless that person allows it to kill his or her spirit. I have seen too many gifted people who are unhappy simply because they have allowed themselves to be eaten up by pride and envy. Why do anything that makes you a bad human being? You may be more powerful, more influential, more beautiful, but if it turns the very core of your soul ashen in the process—what for?

News reports about murders, robberies, graft and corruption, politicking and all the rubbish that we read every day make me wonder. What is so important that one has to sink into the depths of iniquity? On a less drastic level, why do people have to bicker at one another, just to prove they’re better? It is a sad reality that one salient characteristic of Filipinos is the infamous "crab mentality." This is probably one reason why we cannot seem to progress as a nation. We keep pulling each other down. We see this happening in politics, sports and even in our churches. Until we realize that not everything has to be a race, that we are not measured by what we have accomplished, that having more does not translate to being more, then we are doomed as a people.

I am for striving and giving our very best in everything that we do, but only insofar as it does not destroy what makes us human beings.

In the final analysis, what makes a good person, a great person even, is not the awards, wealth or power he has accumulated, but how he has used these gifts in his lifetime. A person who has little but does a lot is far more superior to one who has a lot and does little. While a person who has a lot and gives a lot must do what he can to help those who have little and do little.

It would be wonderful if everybody just accepted what is, gave credit where it is due and asked humbly for help when needed. Then life stops being a race. No need to outshine, outdo or outwit anybody. We are all in it together and the best thing to do is help each other shine. After all, each of us have our own places under the sun.