Never stop believing in the L word (Part I)
February 11, 2002 | 12:00am
Figuring out the basis for a lasting relationship is like that chicken-and-egg question. Which comes first? Is it the right guy that makes it the right time or the right time that makes the guy right? I actually became semi-obsessed (okay, fully-obsessed) with this romantic riddle ever since a friend of mine told me about how she found love amid chaos after removing herself from a disastrous relationship, she swore off men along with their you-know-whats. Then one day, at her sister’s wedding (while still high from her newfound freedom) she did the unexpected.
She fell in love.
My friend ended her commitment to, well, singlehood. I asked her what made her do it. All she said was: "He was simply the right guy and that made the time right."
The philosopher Spinoza once said that we are just puppets and that everything is predestined. That very thought makes me queasy. Imagine we’re all living a screenplay written by someone else. No matter what we do or where we go, our fates are locked. My personal theory in life is that we move through phases. Yes, there is a grand plan but how we get there and the quality of the life we will have will be a product of our own decisions. No one is damned from birth -- we all get what we deserve.
Imagine this: You have a fantastic job that pays you enough to allow you to buy at least one Blahnik a season, a family story rated General Patronage for its sugary wholesomeness, beautiful and funny friends (and you don’t look bad yourself!) and are still single. You see, these simply serve as a background, or trailer of who you are. What really matters is what’s going on with you -- what sort of narcotics your cerebral juices are pumping. Yes, I know it’s part of being a Homo Sapien to be insane but one must at least possess a certain dose of sagacity to be able to carry on a healthy relationship. Some people are befuddled by the woman who has it all but still makes the wrong choices in terms of men. The answer is simple: Hang-ups. May be a messianic complex coddled out of guilt from whatever (me) or a masochistic fetish (me) or a long running obsession with Barbra Hutton and Doris Duke (me). As long as many more of these charming eccentricities grow wild within me, I will be forever romantically challenged. I know that I have to smooth away these chips on my shoulder. I have to look up to more positive role models and be a little bit more of a bitch. You see, you can be with some Stepford hottie and still (because you’re all screwed up) you will inevitably mess it up. I once went out with a perfectly nice guy. However, so many issues were going on at that time with in life. There was no way I could have had a decent thing going on there.
(To be continued)
She fell in love.
My friend ended her commitment to, well, singlehood. I asked her what made her do it. All she said was: "He was simply the right guy and that made the time right."
The philosopher Spinoza once said that we are just puppets and that everything is predestined. That very thought makes me queasy. Imagine we’re all living a screenplay written by someone else. No matter what we do or where we go, our fates are locked. My personal theory in life is that we move through phases. Yes, there is a grand plan but how we get there and the quality of the life we will have will be a product of our own decisions. No one is damned from birth -- we all get what we deserve.
Imagine this: You have a fantastic job that pays you enough to allow you to buy at least one Blahnik a season, a family story rated General Patronage for its sugary wholesomeness, beautiful and funny friends (and you don’t look bad yourself!) and are still single. You see, these simply serve as a background, or trailer of who you are. What really matters is what’s going on with you -- what sort of narcotics your cerebral juices are pumping. Yes, I know it’s part of being a Homo Sapien to be insane but one must at least possess a certain dose of sagacity to be able to carry on a healthy relationship. Some people are befuddled by the woman who has it all but still makes the wrong choices in terms of men. The answer is simple: Hang-ups. May be a messianic complex coddled out of guilt from whatever (me) or a masochistic fetish (me) or a long running obsession with Barbra Hutton and Doris Duke (me). As long as many more of these charming eccentricities grow wild within me, I will be forever romantically challenged. I know that I have to smooth away these chips on my shoulder. I have to look up to more positive role models and be a little bit more of a bitch. You see, you can be with some Stepford hottie and still (because you’re all screwed up) you will inevitably mess it up. I once went out with a perfectly nice guy. However, so many issues were going on at that time with in life. There was no way I could have had a decent thing going on there.
(To be continued)
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