To explain the paradox that has dictated my whole belief system since I hit the age of reason (or since I finally decided to change the charade of thinking Santa really really existed just to cause an extra dent in my folk’s yuletide expenses--not to mention that dent in the ozone layer with all those non-biodegradable toys that became junk after a mere month) it’s as simple as this:
Expect the very worst, hope for the very best.
Sad I know.
I used to think so highly of the world. I believed in its splendor. I guess you can say I saw everything through innocent eyes. Then, one unfortunate day, I woke up from that blissful dream and saw the world for what it really was: a harsh game that needed to be played right to keep my head above water. A rat race. A chore.
No, I am not one of those over-the-hill, close to suicidal stories Oprah still manages to find and feature on her show for Dr. Phil McGraw to whip back to psychosomatic shape. I still have some trace of that generally pleasant person that I started out to be. I did, however, develop a self-induced, jaded venom that flows from my brain to my heart… causing me to poke fun at annoyingly happy people and think it cool to be the perpetually dark cloud who manages to see the negative side to everything.
Call it a crazy defense mechanism. I just hate being disappointed when expectations aren’t met. And I’m sure the same goes with everybody else. Only I took it to the cynical extreme. The world doesn’t owe me jack shit, so why expect everything to be roses and sunshine?!
How did I end up here?
This is the question I ask myself every year as the firecrackers go off and grapes come out of the freezer for the midnight ritual of shaking coins in my polka-dotted pockets while jumping up and down with the hopes of still growing an inch or so and praying that the next year will be a way better one.
Yeah, right. Like things are going to change for me.
Please don’t tell me that what you’ve just read is exactly you
For this world to move forward and improve, we must believe in the power of change.
There is no more room for cynicism, selfishness and despair.
Not only is it time to expect the very best, it’s time to work hard to achieve it.
It’s high time we all band together, not just as a country but as human beings, and map out the quest for perfection… as this is really what we are here to do.
When you reassessed your life last December 31, what answers did you come up with? Any resolutions that will strike a positive change in your life, that will affect society? Or even just better yourself as a person?
This is not an examination of conscience
Hell, I wasn’t even made to sound this cheesy. I’d just like to secure myself with the fact that this seemingly godforsaken world hasn’t completely gone to the dogs.
I’m sure that, in your own way, you’d like to believe that there still truly is hope for the human race.
So is there?