A Guide To Dating Older Women

In the film, The Graduate, a young Benjamin Bradley is seduced by a sexy, sophisticated woman named Mrs. Robinson—the mother of the girl of his dreams—who also happens to be twice his age. Benjamin Bradley succumbs…what guy in his right mind wouldn’t? If the era-gone-by Mrs. Robinson doesn’t suite you’re taste, then maybe a more contemporary Rene Russo in The Thomas Crown Affair will. As the wisdom of American Pie taught us, Stifler’s mom—like well-aged wine—in the end, is a definite sensory experience. A true M.I.L.F. indeed.

On that note, let’s not beat around the bush. Dating an older woman is every guy’s fantasy. Why not? Mature ladies are independent, financially stable, more experienced inside the bedroom. Best of all, they don’t play annoying games, mess with your head, and talk about stupid things like how pink lipstick doesn’t flatter a red hand bag. Older women live within the moment, and their confidence is way appealing. They’ve been there and done that, and chances are, lived a little more. Been around the block, so to speak. With all that experience comes wisdom—a very, very sexy trait.

For a young guy in high school or college, to date an older woman is a major accomplishment. It’s like winning Wimbledon…you’ll be remembered forever. Just imagine yourself walking into school with your eyebrows raised, saying, "Who? My girlfriend? Yup, just dropped her off at work," and then proceed to high five all your buddies and unanimously be proclaimed as "the man". Could things get any better? Hell no. You’re already the beneficiary of a more experienced woman, what more could you ask for?

It must be understood that scoring with older women is not about fostering egos. Come on, we’re not that bad. We like older women because we’re sick of having to suck up to the friends, cousins, drivers, maids, just in order to get a girl’s phone number. Give us a break, men are busy, we don’t have time for that crap. We have more important things to do such as drink beer, watch sports, drink beer again, watch sports again.

So what are we saying here? Don’t waste our time! We want direct, in your face, older, and most importantly, experienced women. We want Joyce Jimenez, not Jolina Magdangal.

But of course, you’ll never find a rose without a thorn. Dating an older woman, like all good things in life, has its own problems. First off, you have to remember that she’s no teenager, and her idea of settling down might be a tad too pressing for you. Her biological clock is ticking faster than you think, and if she’s not in it just for fun with an energetic, carefree stud such as yourself, you may be in for more than what you asked for. Second is baggage. Along with years of experience come many unresolved issues from past relationships. It would be wise to see that your woman has no psychotic, "fatal attraction" tendencies.

In most cases, the advantages seem to outweigh the troubles. An older woman’s independence and maturity are her most endearing qualities (Okay, okay. Next to bedroom experience!). Unlike possessive teenage prima donnas, her self-reliance serves as a stress reliever, giving us younger guys the relationship space we crave, minus petty fights over the time-worn you-don’t-have-time-for-me melodramas. And one thing is for sure: She doesn’t beat around the bush (read: she lets you do that) because she knows exactly what she wants.

As mentioned earlier, an older woman is every stud’s fantasy. So if you weigh out all the pros and cons of dating a 32-year-old fox, you’ll realize that aside from a ticking clock, a microscopic gen-gap, and a little baggage, it’s all good. We all need a Mrs. Robinson to spice up our life, whoever she may be. Age is an illusion after all.