Lessons on Forgiveness from a Six-Year-Old Child
I have a confession to make.
A few nights ago, my husband and I did something that parents should never do in front of their children -- we raised our voices at each other and argued about something (I can’t even remember what exactly we were arguing about now).
Our children were all there, and they could sense the tension between us -- our four-year-old daughter was prompted to say, "Don’t fight!" and this made my husband and I quiet down, though we were still acting hostile towards each other. We would speak to the children but not to each other. (I know, we weren’t being good examples, right?)
Eventually, I started preparing the kids for bedtime. We were already snuggled together in bed, with my husband lying down on the other bed (we have two beds in our room, because we can’t all fit in one). Our six-year-old son, who had also aroused the ire of his father earlier because he had been being disobedient, said good night to his Papa and asked for his forgiveness. His Papa said sorry to him, too, and all was well between them again.
My son then turned to me and said, "Mama, why don’t you say sorry to Papa too?"
I was surprised at his question and replied, "Well, your Papa wasn’t talking very nicely to me and to you, right? So why should I be the one to say sorry?" (Yes, I said this! I can see you shaking your head now. I know I was being stubborn!)
My little boy gently reminded me, "Even if he doesn’t say sorry first, you should still say sorry, right, Mama? That’s what you always tell me."
BOOM! I felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over my head. My son’s remarks hurt -- because they were oh.so.true! When it comes to forgiveness -- seeking it and giving it -- we shouldn’t look at who is at fault, or who says sorry first.
As I think back to that night when my six-year-old boy -- very young and, in a lot of ways, very innocent -- I rejoice. I am grateful that God used him to remind me of the basics of forgiveness. As a person who often finds it easier to grant forgiveness than seek it, I learned a few valuable lessons:
When it comes to forgiveness, we should be humble enough to swallow our pride and ask for it, even if we feel that we are right and the other person is wrong.
When it comes to forgiveness, we should be willing to give it, even if the person who wronged us hasn’t shown any signs of remorse.
When it comes to forgiveness, love should be the main reason for seeking and giving it.
When it comes to forgiveness, we must show a good example to those in our care, especially if we are parents of young children.
Allow me to end this post by sharing with you these verses from the Good Book -- may they be a reminder to you and to me about how we should treat one another:
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. (Colossians 3: 12-14)
