How to be a coach potato in Europe

MANILA, Philippines - Like me, you probably may not find traveling in the winter months (when the temperature dips to a bone-piercing -5°) such a cool idea, but you may just have a change of heart once you hop aboard an Insight Vacations coach that promises more comfort and more legroom as it takes you to more places in Europe than you can imagine. (You may just turn into a certified coach potato at the end of the tour.) Ours took us from Paris to Lucerne, Switzerland and finally to Munich, Germany via Austria (with a two-night stay in each country). Rajah Travel Corporation is the general sales agent of Insight Vacations in the Philippines. But that’s getting ahead of our six-day euphoric European vacation.

Fact is, the adventure (spiced up with a dash of misadventures) starts even before we land on terra firma — on board Etihad Airways, a five-star hotel in the sky.  As soon as I settle down in my seat in the Pearl business class cabin and buckle up, I’m handed a copy of the menu by the very attentive Badr who asks, “What would you like to have — breakfast, lunch or dinner, or something in between?” Now, that’s a tough question. My tummy tells me I should have something light so I order the grilled salmon (cooked a la minute by the chef on board). But along with the entree, I suggest you make room for the oh-so-yummy mushroom bread, which I later demolish with some Swedish cookies without guilt.

Getting high on Etihad

A few hours after takeoff, cabin manager Perpetual Mendes gives me a tour of the Diamond first-class cabin, where I’m dazzled by the luxurious 6’8” fully flat bed with pure Dupion silk and cotton duvet you can sink under for a blissful slumber; 23-inch personal LCD TV and an entertainment system or e-box; seats with built-in massage that can rotate 180° so you can have a meeting while dining with some business partners; a personal mini-bar; exclusive Mezoon Grille or your own fine dining resto with your own personal chef in the sky, Taste of Arabia, and anytime kitchen menu; a personal wardrobe and changing room, screen doors in your private cabin; and in-seats power sockets so you can stay connected and don’t miss a thing on the ground while you’re airborne.

I can get used to all this luxury in the sky, but I must keep my feet on the ground as it’s time to land.

Still sleepy-eyed even after a quick jolt of espresso, we pile out of the Charles de Gaulle airport and find ourselves shivering in Paris’ freezing cold morning. Oui, we’re in Paris! I don’t know anyone or have never met anyone who’s been to Paris and doesn’t like it. And as Nat King Cole sang in his raspy baritone voice, “I love Paris in the springtime. I love Paris in the winter when it drizzles. I love Paris in the summer when it sizzles.”

There’s so much to love about Paris, and we’re ready to fall in love again as we board our Insight Vacations coach and meet our tour director Peter Meahan with Sheryl Lim, Insight Vacations regional director, Asia, and, of course, Marc, our French-speaking, ever-smiling chauffeur for the whole six-day tour.

The Peter principle

Let me tell you something about Peter or Pete. He’ll tell you he was born in Australia, lives in England, and travels the world. When he and his wife travel together, they always negotiate for the sake of peace and harmony. “She likes to go shopping. I like to play golf. So, we go shopping,” Peter relates with an impish smile.

More than splendidly fulfilling his role as our tour director, Peter is our “mother hen” who makes sure he does not lose any of his chicks and that they’re kept safe and warm throughout the tour. Peter is also a bit of a language teacher as he shares with us some basic tour talk. So, how do you say “Good day!” or “Hi!” in French? Bonjour/salut! And this will surely come in handy: Ou est la toilette (Where is the toilet)? But if you can’t pronounce that, just look for any sign that’ll point you to the comfort room. And how do you say how much? Combien?

But how do you say “I’m hungry” in French? Peter takes us through the heart (or is it the belly?) of the tour. BB is for buffet breakfast (add another B for big buffet breakfast, which we would indulge ourselves with at our hotels Marriott Rive Gauche Paris, Astoria Lucerne, and The Westin Grand Arabellapark Munich). D is for dinner, HD is for highlight dinner. WR is for welcome reception, DA is for dine around, and CD is for celebration dinner.  A friendly warning: Menus often have English translation; if not, trust that the dishes are better eaten than pronounced. Wow! Travel surely broadens not just your horizons but your waistline, too!

In seine

So, what do you do in Paris? You can do a thousand and one things in Paris, but if you don’t have the luxury of time and you’re a first-time visitor, you can zero in on the major attractions. For instance, you can go up the Eiffel Tower and there have a breathtaking view of the city of lights. To go up the tower, we squeeze ourselves into a small elevator to get to the second level. We hear Sheryl Lim of Insight Vacations teasing everyone with a chuckle, “I hope you didn’t eat too many croissants for breakfast this morning so we can all fit in.”

This awesome iron-lattice global icon, named after engineer Gustave Eiffel whose company built it in 1889, towers at 1,050 feet (imagine an 81-story building). Speaking of icons, it was the French people who gave the Americans the colossal Statue of Liberty in New York in 1886. And what did the Americans give the French in return? During our sightseeing tour, our guide points at a sculpture that’s but a fraction of the size of the Statue of Liberty. C’est la vie!

With our own French guide Gabrielle on board, we head for the Seine River for a cruise. This famous commercial waterway is all of 776 kilometers long, flowing through Paris and into the English Channel.

Now, what sane person would be sailing down Seine in freezing weather?  So, what happens when a man falls into the river? Answer: He’ll be in Seine.

Highlight of the Parisian tour is the Moulin Rouge show (booked through Insight Vacations, the show-cum-dinner costs only 150 euros, including transport and tips). Moulin Rouge is, of course, the world-famous cabaret in Paris’ 18th arrondissement, founded in the same year (1889) that the Eiffel Tower was constructed, during the Belle Epoch period. It’s probably the breast, er, the best show in town! Watching the bare-breasted pretty belles, who look like they only have one cup size, you can tell that Triumph Bra is clearly not a sponsor of the show.

Having had our fill of Paris’ sights and sounds, and our ample share of croissants, we say au revoir to France one misty morning. Of course, we know we may leave Paris, but it will never leave us because, to partly quote Ernest Hemingway, “Wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.”

How swiss it is!

We’re now on Day 3 of our tour and today, we’re off to Lucerne (or Luzern), Switzerland, a leisurely six-hour drive from Paris. Our chauffeur Marc is so good, his smooth driving is enough to lull us to sleep.

Today, we’re going up to Mt. Pilatus — by cable car, of course. But you can also take the train (if it’s not too cold) that runs on the steepest cogwheel railway.

Peter tells us he’s gone up to Mt. Pilatus at least 80 times, but still, he gets an adrenaline rush every time he goes there. He repeats the oft-told tale of the dragon that was believed to live on every Swiss mountain. It was presumed that the men who dared to climb Mt. Pilatus and never came back were slain by the dragon. But these men who were believed to have suffered in the hands of the vicious dragon were later found safe and warm in the arms of some pretty frauleins who lived up in the mountains. However, there was a man who did return from Mt. Pilatus and dreamed one day of building a hotel there. Lofty dreams do come true and in 1890, the historic Pilatus-Kulm Mountain Hotel was built. There’s also Hotel Bellevue that boasts rooms with the most fascinating views — imagine seeing the Alps when you look out your window!

Peter asks us, “Do you know why it’s called Pilatus?” “We don’t know,” comes the indifferent reply. To answer his own question, Peter says the place was named after Pontius Pilate whose restless spirit is believed to be harboured by this mountain.

Having nourished our hungry minds with assorted historical tidbits, we move on from Pilate to the palate. Awaiting us at the hotel is a free breakfast of croissant and hot chocolate drink to warm the heart and the stomach (the Filipina cashier tells us that the velvety smooth chocolate is called Caotina and everybody later grabs a pack or two at the grocery to bring home).

Watching time go by

Peter tells us that the Swiss always like to do things the proper way and everything runs on time in Switzerland. And why not? It is, after all, the home of the world’s finest watchmakers. It boasts such distinguished names as Rolex, Tissot, Omega, Rado, Tagheuer, Longines, Girard-Perregaux, Tudor, Baume & Mercier, Piaget, Chopard, and Swatch. Don’t forget the cuckoo clocks, too, that are handcarved by some of the world’s finest craftsmen.

And then it’s time for lunch. They say when in Rome, do as the Romans do. So, when in Switzerland, eat as the Swiss eat. Thus, we find ourselves at the door of  Restaurant Fritschi serving cheese fondue, among other Swiss delights. Nit Ragaza, Mary Ann Cupino, Helena Ty, Ethel Estrera, and I also order a fish dish and, yes, frankfurters (we would have the same sausages with either french fries or potato salad on the side in at least two more places we would visit).

And now, it’s time for everybody’s favorite pastime: shopping! Long Champ bags of all sizes, colors, and designs are flying off the shelves at Bucherer. So with the Swiss Army knives — you know those multi-tool little knives you can take anywhere. At Bucherer, you can even have your Swiss knives inscribed with your name or names of the people you’re giving them to.

At the end of our shopping marathon, we get to present a voucher for a free souvenir spoon at Bucherer — a shining reminder of our brief but sweet trip to Switzerland.

Much to our pleasant surprise, we get a little white Swiss knife from Peter as we leave Lucerne. Insight Vacations does have foresight and loves surprising its guests with little thoughtful giveaways. It was nougat candy out of Paris. What will it be in Munich?

Unique munich

On our way to Munich, we pass through Lichtenstein, a principality that’s over 160 sq.km. with a population of over 30,000; make a brief stop at Rosenberger market/restaurant in Vienna, and visit the Neuschwanstein Castle in Bavaria, Germany, which was the inspiration for Disneyland’s Sleeping Beauty Castle. The uphill hike to the 19th-century castle built by Ludwig II of Bavaria as his personal refuge takes all of 45 minutes but thankfully — sore muscles, parched throats and all — we get there in one piece. We later learn we could have taken the horse-drawn carriage and paid only 3 euros.

Munich was the home of the Nazis during the war; today, it’s the home of the world’s largest car companies — BMW, Mercedes Benz, Audi, Porsche, Bentley, Bugatti, Volkswagen, Lamborghini, etc. But it’s also a cycle city; you can rent a bike and go around the city. Munich is the most livable city in Europe because of the not-so-high cost of living, the medical care, and the availability of jobs.

On our itinerary in Munich is a visit to the Allianz Arena, home of the FC Bayern Munich football stadium, the third largest stadium in Germany. Our tour guide  Bernhard Wolf tells us the stadium can seat 71,000 persons; there are berths for wheelchairs so even the handicapped can watch  their favorite teams; there are also heated seats for VIPs. It cost 340-million euros to build this arena which opened eight years ago. The athletes have their own changing rooms, massage room, swimming pool, etc. There are 28 food outlets.

Cheers to beer!

Truly, time flies when you’re having fun, especially over a humongous serving of crispy roasted knuckle of pork downed with a giant mug of Hofbrau beer. It’s time to say auf wiedersehen to Munich and what better place to do that than at the Hofbrauhaus beer palace?  Believe it or not, in 1516, in Bavaria, beer was regarded not just as beverage but as basic food, much like bread. I’m sure my avid beer-loving friends will agree. Today, there’s the Octoberfest, the world’s largest beerfest exhibition held in Munich and Hopbrauhaus (HB, which does not mean high blood) is the second most distributed beer. Via music, dance, food, and tons of beer, we get a taste of the Bavarian life. We say, “Beer and grin it!”

So, what did Peter give us in Munich?

A Mozartkugel (or Mozartbonbon) with marzipan!

Now, I can’t think of a more Insightful trip than this!

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For inquiries on Insight Vacations, call Rajah Travel Corporation at 523-8801 or 894-0886 or your travel agent.