Carlos Celdran walks - and travels - his way

You might have seen him on television recently: a jolly mad- man plying the streets of the metro while brandishing an admonishing finger in front of a city bench, a waiting shed, a tiled walkway, a bridge railing, or a painted ambulance.

Showing once more how wit can be a tool for activism, pop culture fixture Carlos Celdran –– in what he calls the anti-epal tour –– is putting the spotlight on government officials who have a penchant for plastering their faces and names all over city projects and greetings.

He was born at the Makati Medical Center. “I was not allowed to be born anywhere else,” remarks Carlos, because his father is the much-revered Mike Celdran, a pediatrician of several generations and a pillar of the health institution.

The bawling boy was christened –– are you ready for this? –– John Charles Edward, a very traditional American name that Mike chose in preparation for the family migration to the United States. His dad, who had experienced how an “ethnic-sounding name” is perceived in the western world (he had spent time in the US earlier as a medical student), thought this would help his son assimilate better once residing overseas.

But the move never happened, and, as Carlos puts it, he sadly “got stuck with such a bantot name.” He continues, “You just can’t imagine the trouble I get because of it, especially when everybody knows me as Carlos.”

Nevertheless, he had a blissful childhood growing up in Dasmariñas Village. At 14, his love affair with the creative world began when he became a cartoonist, creating the comic strip “Bar Sins” for Business Day, and later a T-shirt illustrator for a local apparel company that he put up together with his siblings.

In college, he took up fine arts at the University of the Philippines Diliman. Then, he transferred to the Rhode Island School of Design in the United States, where the would-be artist found out that he was “allergic to paint. Imaginate!” Moving away from brushes and sketches, Carlos redirected his energies into the performance arts. Post college, there were stints with the Blue Man Group, the theatrical organization that produces experimental music and comedy in the US, and the Heritage Conservation Society in the Philippines.

Now, he calls himself a performance artist for cultural activities. Which is really fitting as when I met him at Pia y Damaso –– the restaurant that serves subversive Filipino cuisine like Sisa’s Dementia, a truffle cake with white chocolate and ganache, or Wicked Simoun, a baked cheesecake with a dash of Bailey’s –– the showman made quite an entrance in the quiet bistro. With a grin, Carlos popped right in front of me, and, as if already engaged, turned “on,” ready for the stage complete with spotlight, as he jumped into our conversation immediately.

No warm-up required.

In a sea of thousands, you will never miss Carlos, who, without fail, employs creative constants, particularly in his wardrobe. He starts with a long-sleeved cotton shirt paired with alanganin purontong shorts. Then, he adds a Marcos-era Barong Tagalog in the Pierre Cardin style. To complete the get-up, there are select accessories such as a top hat, bow tie, leather cuff and a black messenger bag. On occasion, you will also catch him with a pair of tiny Jack Russell Terriers, one named Bogart (as in Humphrey), the American icon who starred in Casablanca, and the other Monty (as in Montgomery Clift), another great actor who was known for his Academy Award-nominated roles in A Place in the Sun and From Here to Eternity.

Today, Carlos manages and operates Walk This Way, the company that hosts walking tours of Manila. Combining humor and costumery into the history of the capital city, Carlos offers two tour flavors: “If These Walls Could Talk,” an informative and irreverent analysis of Filipino culture set in Intramuros, and “Living la Vida Imelda!” a trippy and, of course, Imeldific look at Filipino life in the ‘70s.

A popular activity not only among tourists but also with locals, all of whom want to see the metro from a different –– funnier, to say the least –– point of view, his tours are attended by celebrities like international singer Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. Even pop chanteuse Katy Perry signed up for a tour. “But she stood me up due to a hangover,” sighs Carlos.

And as for the dream VIP that he would like to show around the Philippines? He declares, “Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton!” For him, the former US President has that intangible X factor, “a very, very, very personable character akin to Imelda Marcos.” In the future, the cultural advocate would like to add the cities of Makati, Taguig and Quezon tohis menu of walking tours. “I’m just trying to get things right,” he reveals. In the meantime, Carlos is also cooking up a book, which we’re certain, with his trademark humor, will be quite a read.

PHILIPPINE STAR: What do you remember most of your first trip abroad?

CARLOS CELDRAN: My first trip abroad was to Hong Kong in May of 1983. I have fuzzy memories of a much-less-congested city and staying at the Holiday Inn Golden Mile in Tsim Sha Tsui. I think the peso was also stronger than the Hong Kong dollar back then. What I do remember clearly were the flights. We flew on Philippine Airlines’ new “Love Bus” A300. It had a lipstick kiss mark on the side of the airplane. All the seats had these really cool orange and purple Maranao patterns. And I was served steak in those funky airline trays. For such a brief flight, I had two meals each way. (Laughs)

What won’t you leave home without?

A sense of adventure and humor first and foremost. But in terms of actual objects, my iPhone for cam-whoring and uploading online of pictures of things that I’m about to eat. Finally, of course, the chargers for all my gadgets. There is nothing worse than arriving at my destination and realizing that I’ve left my chargers by the bedside table back home.

Describe your present passport photograph.

Bloated and shell-shocked!

How do you pass time at airports?

Perhaps uploading pictures of airline food to the Internet. But mostly, walking. Checking out anything that I come across. I cannot sit still in airports. I pace like a madman. (Laughs) Favorite airport to walk around: Singapore Changi Airport. Least favorite: our very own beloved NAIA 1.

Who is your ideal traveling companion?

My wife. Period. I hate traveling alone and I usually lose stuff. Passports, sunglasses, an iPad. Name it, I’ve lost it! (Laughs) She helps me keep everything together.

What is the first thing you do upon checking in at a hotel or at a resort?

As I said, I can’t sit still. After I browse the Internet, I check out the grounds. I sniff around the restaurants, visit the shops, harass the general manager for information about the hotel. Then, I hit the pool! One weird travel habit I have acquired is photographing pictures of hotel bathrooms and sending them to Cecile Zamora Van Straten for her to judge! (Laughs)

What would you consider a must-do activity in every foreign city that you visit?

Believe it or not, I head to a religious site every time I visit a city. Whether it’s a cathedral, temple, or any other spiritual place, I always light a candle or make some offering there. Checking out a holy spot is literally acknowledging what constitutes the soul of that particular city.

Describe your most memorable trip.

A trip to Sri Lanka with my wife last July. Amazing country. From their mountain Hill Stations, which reminded me of Baguio, to their food and great architecture, Sri Lanka is my new find and obsession. Visiting the gardens of Lunuganga by famed architect Geoffrey Bawa, the main proponent of the tropical modern movement, was one of the most inspiring and unforgettable experiences of my life. Lunuganga is a harmonious expression of an artist’s relationship with nature. I am inspired to build a garden of my own because of it.

What do you miss most when you’re away from home?

Filipino food and my dogs. The food is to eat. Not the dogs, eh?

What is the best travel advice you’ve been given?

To save room in your luggage, pack swimming trunks instead of underwear. Boxers take up a lot of space when on a long trip. Swimming trunks don’t take up much area, can be laundered the same time that you shower, and take only minutes to dry. Some might think it’s a bit cuchino, but you have to admit, it is a pretty brilliant idea.

What is the strangest thing you have done during a trip?

The last time that I visited New York City, I was, upon my arrival, immediately whisked away to a jungle-themed Burning Man party in midtown Manhattan. My art school best friends brought me there. Since I didn’t have a jungle costume, I wore a tutu instead.

Let’s talk favorites now. Name your favorite city abroad.

Istanbul. Istanbul. Istanbul. (Laughs) It’s the Islamic Paris. Stunning architecture, stunning people, and stunning food. Each corner is packed with history and culture. I walked everywhere! It took me seven hours, and I still didn’t have enough of it.

The city that you wish to walk around in?

I want to walk around Berlin. I hear it’s freaking amazing there. I hear it’s affordable, I hear it’s walkable, and I hear it’s jam-packed with public art. It’s my kind of city.

Your favorite spot in the Philippines?

There’s a small freshwater spring in the middle of a forest about a half an hour up a mountain in Camiguin. Totally inaccessible by car, it’s a 30-minute walk from the closest road. I don’t want to share its name, because I do not want it to be exploited by tourists and folks, who don’t know how to take their garbage back with them. It’s one of the most pristine, serene places in the Philippines. I pack a roast chicken, some bread, and coconuts, and have lunch there every time I visit the island. It’s a place where I really feel energized and in tune with myself and my surroundings. Frankly, I’m a river-and-batis person more than a beach guy. I could make tampisaw all day and sit in fresh water like a carabao.  

Most underrated city?

Locally, Roxas City in Capiz has become a favorite of mine. I love their cute little downtown and their seaside boulevard with seafood restaurants just outside of the city proper. Roxas City brings to mind what Manila was like before World War II. They have an old Spanish church, a grand American colonial government buildings, and even a little version of Jones Bridge. It’s civilized and safe, the air is clean, the food is amazing, and there are lots of places to walk around. I totally recommend a visit to Roxas City.

Favorite airline?

I have a soft spot in my heart for Philippine Airlines. Despite its flaws and setbacks, my heart always beats a little faster when I board a PAL flight, especially when I’m on my way back to Manila after a long trip. Love the history, love the food, and love their Mabuhay magazine. This isn’t a paid endorsement either.

Favorite airport?

Singapore Changi Airport for obvious reasons. I love their civility, their food, and their free stuff. On a local level, Davao International Airport has the best food selections among all our national airports.

Favorite museum?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. You could walk around that place for days and still not get to everything you need to see. It’s really an amazing testament to the United States’ cultural achievements and capacity for raiding another nation’s cultural artifacts. It’s the classiest collection of acquired goods ever put together by man.

And if you could take home a piece of art, which one would it be?

I’d like to own the “Spoliarium” but I don’t have a house big enough to hold it.

Favorite hotel?

Galle Face Hotel in Colombo, Sri Lanka. It’s a century-old hotel steeped in history and charm. The food is amazing, the service is excellent, and their respect for the heritage of the property is to be admired. Locally, The Sofitel Philippine Plaza is the only game in Manila. The ocean view, the Locsin architecture, and the standards set this hotel apart from all the others. The seventh-floor corner suite facing the pool and the bay is my favorite room in the entire city aside from my own.

Favorite landmark, building, or park?

The Rizal Monument and the walled city of Intramuros. I wake up to these sights practically every day. Another favorite is the underrated beauty that is Paco Park. It’s an oasis within the hustle and bustle of Manila. Cap off a visit to Paco Park with lunch or dinner by Chef Chris Locher’s My Kitchen at the hotel next door, and it’s a perfect Paco day or night.

Favorite musical or play?

Jesus Christ Superstar. It’s groovy, it’s rock and roll, and it’s a really thought-provoking take on this man we call Jesus Christ.

Favorite mall?

Tutuban Mall. It’s got history, it’s got tiangges, and it’s got air-con. It’s all one needs in Divisoria. Tutuban is so cool, I sometimes forget it’s a mall. Abroad, I never visit malls.

Favorite restaurant or bar?

As of late, the Tap Room of the Manila Hotel is one of my favorite getaways in Manila. From the wooden paneling and the brass lamps on the bar to the perfect Grey Goose martinis and live jazz by Romy Posadas, the Tap Room has maintained its class factor after all these years. Just watch out for the free salted peanuts. It’s not difficult to polish off three or four plates of it without realizing.

Name an event anywhere in the world you would like to participate in?

Burning Man. It’s an art festival set in the middle of the Black Rock Desert in Nevada. It’s one summer week full of art, self-expression, and self-reliance in the middle of one of the most stunning landscapes in the United States. No one is allowed to bring money. You have to trade for food, goods, and services throughout the week. And when it’s all over, the thousands of participants leave the place as clean as they found it. I plan to go next summer if I get my act together.

Aside from unpacking your suitcase, what is the first thing you would do upon returning home?

I hug my dogs, give them their treats, and immediately order a whole bunch of Filipino food. Fried bangus and sinigang being the first order after every arrival. If it’s a morning flight, I order a silog.

Name a city you have never visited but would like to someday.

Rome. Never been to Italy. Never been to London either. There’s a whole lotta world to explore. And thanks to the weak euro, this dream isn’t so impossible anymore.

Name a country you wish to explore.

I backpacked through Mexico as a college student and I want to do it again today. It was an amazing place. The food, the temples, the people were all intoxicating. I stayed in cheap hostels and ate street food for over a month. I want to go back now and explore the country once again, but with a bigger budget. At my age, backpacking loses its thrill quite quickly. I can now afford to have wine with my street food, by golly, and I’m gonna take advantage of that. (Laughs)

What would you say is the best part of travel?

The journey. I love airports and I love flying in airplanes. That part of traveling has never lost its thrill for me. People might think I’m weird, but I love eating airline food, exploring the cabin and harassing the flight attendants today as much as I did when I first flew at the age of 11. (Laughs)

If you could reside anywhere in the world aside from the Philippines where would it be?

Lately, I’ve been thinking of Colombo, Sri Lanka. They just came out of a war a couple of years ago, and they are poised for an economic boom. There are opportunities in Sri Lanka in terms of tourism, services and infrastructure investment. The huge parks, their lovely seaside promenade and a downtown full of heritage buildings draw the city to me.