To Kilimanjaro & beyond part 1

MANILA, Philippines - Africa, specifically Tanzania, had been a dream destination of mine for many, many years. In fact, I had always envisioned going there on my honeymoon. I believe honeymoons should always be out of the ordinary. Just as marriage inevitably takes you to another place – presumably a wonderful place – a honeymoon should take you to another planet – indeed, presumably a more than wonderful other planet. And the European honeymoon circuit is just way too overdone: Coliseum, Louvre, Eiffel Tower, London Bridge... it’s all so man-made. A honeymoon is a landmark moment in a couple’s life and it must deliver an out-of-this-world experience. When I would tell some people where Happee and I were going, I would get blank reactions, followed by a repetition of what I had just said. “Tanzania,” they would repeat in a perplexed tone. And you got to wondering if they had thought I had suddenly changed topic and started discussing a new food item or wine varietal. So I would repeat: We are going to Tanzania. (Full stop.) For a month.

When I had gotten this kind of reaction on five separate occasions I knew I had picked the correct destination. In a very real way, our first “date” was in an equally odd location: Mongolia in the dead of winter. It was one of the most memorable trips of our lives and now we were heading to the cradle of life, so to speak. We would see wonders only few dared dream of. I would finally get to visit the Ngorongoro Crater and stay at the fabled Ngorongoro Crater Lodge, which I had first read about in a book called Adventure Capitalist written by the famed investment banker, Jim Rodgers.

Amidst all the work that came like an incessant flood after our wedding day, including producing our 11th PULP SUMMER SLAM featuring no less than Anthrax (one of the BIG FOUR of the thrash metal scene led by, of course, Metallica), Mr. Big and K-Pop girl sensations 2NE1, we slowly arranged and prepared our journey.

I’ll fast forward through all the preparation details. In a nutshell, there were many, including visa runs to almost derelict-looking consulates (those are usually the best kinds of embassies). In fact we almost forgot to get our yellow fever vaccination and would have most certainly been harassed entering Tanzania from Kenya, if not deported then detained for as much as ten days in a horrid airport holding room.

The flight from Manila would take us through four airports before we would find ourselves ensconced in the Tribal Hotel in Nairobi – a lovely and clean, if not entirely spacious, modern hotel with “tribal” touches. The food here was decent and the wine selection was sufficient –quite impressive on the whole with a convenient gym tucked away in an area behind the swimming pool.

This was a rest stop prior to our first safari destination in the Masai Mara, where we would be staying at the Bateleur Camp run by &Beyond, which was formally known as CC Africa, a top-end hotelier and tour operator apparently majority-owned by the famous Getty family of the United States. Our whole tour was strung together by &Beyond, including the numerous transfers that would take us across Kenya into various locations in Tanzania including Mount Kilimanjaro aboard a number of tiny eight to twelve-seater planes. To be sure, the transfers were seamlessly arranged, albeit the trips themselves were extremely frightful for Happee who absolutely loathes the stomach-turning turbulence you often get riding in small aircraft.

But landing on the desolate Masai Mara airstrip was out-of-this-world. It felt like it came right out of a movie – the copper-toned dust settling in slow motion, the rolling hills and the dozens of impala grazing in sun-drenched silence. And then there was the &Beyond welcome party: a couple of large safari jeeps, smartly painted and accoutered with the snazzy &Beyond logo and a picnic table set up with all manner of cold drinks, bubbly, beers and wine was there to greet us along with a few members of the &Beyond crew, smiling and full of warmth.

Impressive.

The accommodation and the set-up of the Bateleur Camp were worth every penny (and this is a pretty large stack of pennies!). Although advertised as a   tented        camp the “tents” are really          full-sized hotel            rooms with           spacious bathrooms complete      with separate              wash, shower and toilet areas. The bed is a full size king and it is essentially spotless.

The            September weather in the Masai Mara was wonderful - not too cold and not too hot. Perfect. Although             on drives you should have a warm jacket as the breeze can bite. I unfortunately found this out the hard way and came down with a fever from chills.

Still, the drives were exhilarating. I could not believe how close we came to lions, elephants and giraffes. Even at camp, impalas and warthogs would graze meters from our verandah. It was like living in the Garden of Eden. And the food was more often than not well-prepared and graciously served. All the &Beyond camps are full board, meaning all food and drink, unless you demand a special wine, is included. And the house pours were all fairly decent and some quite good.

I am going to refrain from effusive descriptions of the game drives, which are to be sure, definitely worth doing, but this should not interfere with just hunkering down and enjoying the lodge, which is built in amazing harmony with the natural surroundings.

Our days and nights in the Masai Mara were the little touch of African luxury before striking out to tackle Kilimanjaro, the highest free-standing mountain in the world at about 19,600 feet.

I had fallen in love with trekking years ago in Nepal, and I wanted to share this experience with Happee. I had some deep reservations since Happee is not an outdoors type of person and she loathes exercise. I was also not an outdoors person myself (although going to the gym has been a habit since I was in high school).

So I painstakingly grilled the &Beyond coordinator who assured me continually that we would have a top-end private trek, that we would be able to go at our own pace, that we would have our own toilet carried by one of our sixteen-member crew and that our tent accommodations would be comfortable. On our itinerary presented to us in Kenya by an &Beyond representative which came in a well-presented booklet, I recall it stated that all the campsites in Kilimanjaro would be clean, cozy and comfortable.

The walks were indeed arduous. The change in scenery as with the changes in elevation were, however, dramatic. None of the camps we stayed in were essentially clean or cozy and definitely not comfortable.

The toilet had disturbing brown stains encircling it, which were never cleaned all throughout our seven days on the mountain. Our tent was often pitched on unlevel or slanting ground. Our tent was of the same size as our guide’s tent, which was essentially a little crawl space wherein you would need to get down on your knees to enter. You can imagine the total nightmare of having to crawl in and out of this cramped sleeping area to relieve yourself periodically throughout the night.

What was most disturbing was that the daily charge for this trek was essentially equal to the luxury rates we were paying at top-end luxury camps, and towards the end we found that other trekkers had paid a third of the amount we were charged for the same numbers of trekking staff and “comforts.” And although one of the owners of Hoopoe, the company assigned by &Beyond to handle our Kilimanjaro trek, came to see us off, even his promise of “pillows will be provided” did not materialize (which may have been for the better since cleanliness was clearly not a priority).

The nail in the coffin was the food, which was barely edible. I dare say we do not even serve our household help the food that was served to us for thousands of dollars.

So the physical exertion aside, which was expected, the coziness and promised comforts were sorely lacking despite the astronomical price tag and the esteemed reputation of &Beyond.

Thankfully the &Beyond owned and operated lodges we moved to after our Kili leg were phenomenal with Lake Manyara giving me my first Bush Baby bathing experience with not impalas or warthogs outside our tree house cottage (itself an amazing eco-friendly luxe accommodation) but a family of elephants!

The last &Beyond lodge we stayed at for a glorious four-day, three-night sojourn was the incomparable Ngorongoro Crater Lodge, which was in absolute fact a little patch of Heaven on Earth – an accolade I don’t loosely throw around. The service was outstanding. The food was delightful. And waking up with a view of the crater floor in front of you with zebras meters from your porch was simply mythic in proportion.

But this was yet not the end of our African adventure... [To Be Continued].