A Denmark state of mind

Don’t get me wrong: Denmark is a lovely place. It has much to be proud of, history-wise, including its tradition of Viking warriors who probably visited much of the world way before the lower Europeans even got their first dinghies in the water. It’s just that, well, its beer is a little lacking. And beer was supposed to be a big part of my recent visit to Scandinavia.

Our tour last April actually began in Belgium, which has glorious beer: some of the finest ambers and brews ever contemplated by man. My wish list of Belgium beers included Chimay Red, Saison Dupont, and the products of Cantillon Brewery in Brussels — all of which I failed to even sample because we (wife Therese and I) arrived late in Belgium, and only got a small taste of the country during an all-too-brief overnight stay in Bruges (which also has excellent beer). So, on to Denmark.

Copenhagen has plenty of canals lined with cafes and restaurants.

And what does Denmark have to offer? Carlsberg and Tuborg. Carlsberg: a company so timid in its beer pride that a large banner in downtown Copenhagen reads “Carlsberg: Probably the Best Beer in Town.” Not even in all of Scandinavia, mind you; just “in town.” Talk about self-esteem issues.

So the beer was nothing that would inspire Viking conquests. But at least Copenhagen has a great number of other attractions to make it a decent tourist draw, even if you’re only passing through.

Let’s start with Noma, voted by many to be the best restaurant in the world for two years in a row. It’s a strange odyssey of food that takes you through courses featuring edible topiary and live shrimp (and those are just the appetizers). Denmark’s also the home of Hans Christian Andersen as well as Lars Von Trier, so you can expect some darkness, and I don’t just mean the literal weather (our daily newspaper at the hotel informed us of “sunny spells,” as though the appearance of sunshine in Copenhagen is some kind of aberration or temporary enchantment). And it’s also the home of Lego, that tinkerer’s dream toy that probably reflects the precise intellectual rigor combined with playfulness to be found in Danish society. Here are some things to check out.

1. Eat at Noma. While in Copenhagen, you must visit Noma, voted (in San Pellegrino’s World’s 50 Best Restaurants poll) as the best. Well, it also has a couple Michelin stars under its belt too, so those who turn up their nose at the “hipper” upstart rating system should keep that in mind. René Redzepi’s kitchen serves up a tasting menu of 12-plus courses that starts with tiny forestry, includes live shrimp that you dunk in a killing sauce before downing in one go, and a battery of dishes that defy our expectations of what is food. Now that El Bulli’s closing its doors, Noma seems to have a lock on outlandishly reimagined food. There are radishes in edible soil, shellfish served in a bowl of rocks, and pork belly that comes with a sheathed knife. Someone at our table called it “food from outer space,” but to me it’s food that casts a fresh new look at our very own Earth and all its ingredients, though the pleasures are sometimes more contemplative than purely gastronomic. (Interestingly, Copenhagen has 13 Michelin-star restaurants, the most in all of Scandinavia. Yet what do most restaurants serve? “Smørrebrød,” or cold, open-faced sandwiches. Go figure.)

2. Pose with The Little Mermaid. A classic tourist site, the bronze statue by Edvard Eriksen erected in 1913 and placed on a rock in Copenhagen harbor has become an icon of the city. She’s relatively small, only 1.25 meters, or human size (“part of the human world,” I guess). When we arrived, we were told The Little Mermaid had been sent on tour to Shanghai, but — luckily — when we took a tour bus to the site, she was still out there in the harbor. Maybe she had visa problems?

3. Visit Tivoli Gardens. People who haven’t been to Copenhagen might imagine lush Elysian fields or a Versailles-type estate. Actually, Tivoli Gardens is one of the oldest amusement parks in the world, a popular draw during Easter time, where large mechanical bunny rabbits welcome visitors at the gate. Don’t expect mind-bending thrill rides, but it’s definitely a nostalgic trip down memory lane.

4. Tour Elsinore Castle. “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark,” observed Marcellus in Hamlet. Well, thankfully not on the day we visited. Elsinore Castle is not the brooding, fog-misted fortress we imagined Hamlet lurking about, but a big tourist draw, with performances of Shakespeare held inside as well as guided tours. About 1-2 hours north of Copenhagen by bus.

5. Drop in at Christianborg/Fredericksborg/Rosenborg Castles. Really, what’s a European trip without castles? (Or, as we used to say on the tour bus, “ABC: Another Bloody Castle.”) Here’s where you’ll find relic rooms from the reign of Christian I and King Frederick. Castle Rosenborg — with its deadma sentries roaming the perimeter — even has a nice surprise in its cellar: the actual king’s jewels and royal crown sealed in a vault for public viewing.

6. Line up at Legoland. The first Legoland amusement park was built here in Billund (4-5 hours north of Copenhagen by train) in 1968 near the original Lego factory. The brand has experienced a huge spike in popularity of late, long after Ole Kirk Christiansen molded his first plastic parts in 1949. Surprising, unless you’re really into zig-zaggy plastic replicas of houses, airports and Star Wars action scenes. There are water rides and rollercoasters, life-size Lego models of Hans Christian Andersen and world landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower and Mount Rushmore. Most interesting is the Lego Driving School, which allows batches of kids to climb inside tiny motor-driven cars and — after a safety and driver courtesy lesson — take their vehicles out for a spin on the kid-size track. Amazing how the kids actually observe the tiny traffic lights and signal when they want to turn. Perhaps Manila could set up its own Lego Driving School?

7. Shop at Strøget. It’s a long pedestrian walkway of shops and side streets that’s one of Copenhagen’s biggest tourist draws. H&M and Lego are there, of course, but also excellent dessert shops and old vinyl record shops, bookstores, cafés and cinemas (the International Film Fest was going on while we were there), plus lots of shawarma restaurants, when you get really tired of open-faced sandwiches.

8. Take a whiff of Christiania. A famed dope community set up in the late ‘60s, Christiania is actually a separate state from Denmark, with tax-free status. Yup, people can buy, trade and smoke marijuana and mild hallucinogens (though hashish and “hard” narcotic drugs are prohibited) inside its protected walls. Originally set up as a haven for the homeless and persecuted, walk along its bombed-out warehouse streets today and you’ll mainly find people openly selling grams of marijuana and ‘shrooms, along with Bob Marley trinkets, “THC lollipops” and pot seeds. Picture-taking is not allowed inside the selling area. A big sign announces you are safely “Entering the European Community” as you leave its hazy, smoke-swirled gates.

9. Gape in awe at Louisiana. A modern art museum located north of Copenhagen overlooking the coast, it features an amazing sculpture garden and a mix of live performance, design and architecture. Included in the book 1,000 Places To See Before You Die, it’s a unique art environment in an expansive space, mixing famous names like Picasso and Paul Klee with the best of modern Danish artists.

10. Stretch your mind at Experimentarium. Not just a kid’s science museum, but a huge aircraft hangar-sized room of gadgets, interactive rides and learning experiences for kids located along the wharf near Hellerup. (You can take a bus from downtown Copenhagen.) Now showing is “Body Worlds,” the latest version of German anatomist Gunther von Hagens’ “Bodies” exhibit featuring flayed human corpses whose water and fat has been replaced with pliable plastic (a technique called plastination), allowing the figures to be posed in a number of intriguing poses, such as playing a Stratocaster guitar or having sex with one another. Believe me, after you’ve seen two flayed corpses having front-to-back sex in Copenhagen, you’ve seen it all.