One heart, one soul, one balance sheet

Last Thursday, we had a very lively episode on our weekly show “Money Lessons With FQ Mom And Sons” with our guest, the newly-minted senior citizen, the love of my life, Marvin Fausto. If you missed that episode and want to know what you should be doing at certain ages in order to have a comfortable retirement, you may still watch the episode on our You tube channel

Some viewers messaged me saying they were inspired and had fun watching and learning from the show. One live viewer said she will print and frame this quote to be displayed in their home.

Unless you sign a pre-nuptial agreement, remember that when you say “I do!” this is what happens.

A few years ago, I had an engagement with a major life insurance company that did very interesting survey on Relationship Index in 10 countries in Asia. We Filipinos ranked number one in expressing our love to our partners. We also ranked number one in the frequency of arguments with partners. We’re very expressive indeed! Can you guess what the number one cause of conflict was? If you answered money, you’re right!

Why do you think money ranks as the top cause of conflict? I think the answer would probably be because it is a topic not openly discussed even between husband and wife. I would assume that almost all couples who get married do not bother to look at the property law that governs their marriage. I admit, we were among these couples thirty-two years ago. Yup, The Honey and I are celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary on Aug. 12, 2021! Fortunately, we bothered to check it out a few years into our marriage and everything’s cool. 

Before you say “I do”

I know it’s such a delight to prepare all those details that make your dream wedding – church, reception venue, food, drinks, coordinators, photographers, videographers, florists, stylists, couturiers, hair and make-up artists, and many many more! Add to that the COVID-19 condition and what kind of “Q” is currently enforced – ECQ, GCQ, MECQ, etc. I’m all for this pageantry if this is your thing. I, myself, love weddings. I have an article series called “I love weddings” in my website https://fqmom.com/tag/i-love-weddings-series/ .

I also have various videos sharing our weddings, so believe me when I say, “It’s okay to make a fuss about weddings.” I love weddings so much, we’ve had six…and counting! Click these links if you want proof!

1. Silver (25th) Wedding onsite video
2. Silver Wedding march
3. Boys' dance on our Silver Wedding
4. Song gift on our Silver Wedding
5. Serenade on Silver Wedding
6. Pearl (30th) onsite video
7. Pearl Wedding onsite photo by Pat Dy
8. Pearl Wedding homily by Fr. Johnny Go, S.J.
9. Pearl Wedding couple dance
10. Pearl Wedding boys dance 1930s
11. 31st Anniversary quarantine style 

So go ahead, have your dream wedding, but please don’t forget to include understanding the property law that will govern your marriage in your preparation for forever. Make it as part of your to do list.

When you enter into a marriage contract here in the Philippines, you and your partner become one, not only in heart, mind and soul, as our wedding ceremonies always remind us. You also become one pocket, one pool of assets, one balance sheet! But no one says this explicitly, and then almost always, people sign into a permanent contract without really knowing what they’re getting themselves into. 

Whether you’re about to get married or have been married for many years, let’s take a look at the property laws governing your marriage.

Absolute Community of Property vs Conjugal Partnership of Gains

If you got married prior to Aug. 3, 1987, your marriage is governed by the Conjugal Partnership of Gains (CPG). Under this law, the spouses retain ownership of properties owned prior to the marriage. Only the fruits or income derived from these previously acquired properties will form part of the common pool or conjugal property. Then all other properties acquired by either spouse during the marriage will likewise form part of the common pool.

Starting Aug. 3, 1987 under the Family Code, marriage in the Philippines is governed by the Absolute Community of Property (ACP). Under this law the husband and wife become co-owners of all the properties they bring into the marriage and those they acquire during the marriage. This means that even those that you inherited from your ancestors, and those you bought while still single will form part of the ACP. 

There are three exceptions to this rule:

1. Properties acquired during the marriage by gratuitous title or, in layman’s language, donation given to either spouse, except if the donor stipulates that the donation also forms part of the ACP. I’ve heard of wealthy families donating to their child after the wedding in order to keep the ownership exclusive to the child. 

2. Property for personal and exclusive use. Of course, your clothes, underwear, etc. do not have to form part of the ACP anymore; it’s not hygienic. :) Note however that jewelry forms part of ACP. Expensive bags, which cost like jewelry, are not yet considered part of ACG so those still go to your personal property.

3. Property acquired before the marriage by either spouse who has legitimate descendants by a former marriage and the fruits or income of such property.   

Given the above, it is best for spouses and would-be spouses to sit down, understand and acknowledge the laws governing their marriage. No amount of “What is hers is hers alone” or “I don’t meddle with the properties that he inherited from his family” will do, because the reality is that, whether you like it or not, if you are the rightful owner of any property, you have both the privileges and obligations attached to said ownership. Moreover, the fundamental reason for our property laws is an acknowledgement that the family is the basic unit of society. And for that family to succeed, it has to know its resources and make full use of them.

This reminds me, it’s time to update our balance sheet, something my husband and I also discuss during our wedding anniversary. :) Do you find that too cold and unromantic? Well, I tell you, money problems due to lack of healthy communications about it is what could take out the romance in even the most romantic couples. In fact, if you’re creative enough, there is romance in asset allocation! 

Let’s continue this conversation on our live show on Thursday Aug. 12, 1989 at 11 a.m. with a newly-wed couple, Enzo and Julia Bonoan. Join us live either on Kumu or FB Live! 

Happy 32nd anniversary to The Honey. I look forward to spending many, many more years with you – with all the fun and challenges, including updating our balance sheet. Because indeed, we are not just one heart and soul, but one balance sheet! 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

1. If you haven’t yet, I encourage you to take the FQ test with your jowa/spouse/special someone. https://fqmom.com/fqtest

2. Take your jowa/spouse/special someone to a high FQ journey with Mak and Emong in order to understand your respective money behavior. Read the “FQ Book 2” together! Order here – https://fqmom.com/bookstore/.

To know more about “FQ Book 2,” watch this short video .

3. Join us on Kumu and FQMom FB Page every Thursday at 11 a.m.

4. Please subscribe to my new FQ Mom Podcast. If you’d rather consume this article in audio and listen to additional comments and insights, please listen to my podcast on the platform of your choice.