Me and the Mini car factory

It was a scene straight out of Transformers. Robots had taken over and were beginning to plot their world domination in the form of automobiles that they were producing at a secret location somewhere in Europe. Humans were hired as laborers to make sure that factory operations were running in tip-top form. These vehicles had full-on personality and didn’t look like the run-of-the-mill ones you see on the street. They were of a different breed.

Now, if you think the above-mentioned scenario was plucked out off a sci-fi novel, guess again. I just found myself in the middle of that scene inside the Oxford plant of Mini Cooper. This £500-million facility produces a thousand Minis every week, off to 110 countries around the world — the same Mini Cooper that you see in your neighbor’s parking lot, the one that gets the attention every time it drives by the village, the one that your hip boss drives.

Plant Oxford, the place we went to, alongside 55 new owners of the Mini (just this month), is the birthplace and heart of Mini production. The Lucky 55 were chosen because they had purchased their Mini last month, and as a gesture similar to what Willy Wonka did, he opened up the factory for all of us to see what magic goes on inside the manufacturing plant. In this case, it wasn’t Willy Wonka, but Willy Tee Ten, president of Autohub and the man responsible for bringing a lot of our auto motive fantasies to life. He and his wife Owee Cruz and their team pulled all stops to make this trip a fun and yummy one. 

This is a first in local auto history to bring this many people to witness the origins of how this amazing driving machine came to be. We were also treated to a tour of London to maximize the Brit experience to further push the heritage of the Mini. To the participants, this was our golden ticket!

Assembling the car

So there I was, a little wide-eyed Charlie looking at what goes on inside the Mini plant. Wearing robes with a Mini inscription at the left side back, it felt more like Hogwarts than an excursion to one of the most famous car factories in the world. We also wore protective eyewear and were told to keep our phones in the lockers. “We wouldn’t want your phone cameras to not act like it was before after going through everything inside.” Our guide knew how to get to us. We gamely obliged and quickly hid our phones, never to see our wrists until the end of the tour.

With my very own eyes, I saw a sheet of metal get penetrated by the robot’s piercing gaze. Holes were drilled in the right places and little by little, I could see it getting attached to another part and soon, it had the skeletal framework of a car. The assembly line operated in a precise way, just like how you’d see it in the movies or in futuristic cartoons. Walking around the plant supervised by this man named John who has been working for Mini for the past 30 years, I was like a kid in Santa’s workshop. “We make sure to have a 99.9% of perfection rate when it comes to assembling these cars.” Truth be told, I saw more robots than humans in this plant.

But what if the robots malfunction? How about if the parts go berserk? What happens when there’s a brownout? The German-made robots are apparently fool-proof and there are always back-up spare parts to make sure that they only have the best parts not just for the cars, but also for the robot that’s producing your cars. Beyond amazed realizing it was machines building their fellow machines.  It was living in the future, now. 

I looked around and noticed that all cars were so unique — It was all made to order and “with billions of combinations available, it’s unlikely any two cars are ever made the same.” Just like humans, I must say. 

Beyond the black box 

“The manufacturing launch of Mini under the ownership of BMW Group in April 2001 marked the start of a new era in the history of the plant. Since then, more than 2.5 million Minis have been made at Plant Oxford. But the plant’s heritage goes back much further than that — it is a site with more than 100 years of automotive manufacturing history.”

The first thing that greets you after you enter the big black box with the giant Mini logo on top are cars from all over the century. Minis that we’ve seen in movies, been displayed in exhibits all over the world, and special collector editions with the most luxurious parts possible.

Last year, around 4,000 employees manufactured nearly 179,000 Minis. I spotted the Mini 3-door, Mini 5-door, the Mini Clubman and the Mini John Cooper Works all around the Oxford Plant. I saw the Mini Clubman which I predict will be the big hit of 2016 when it gets launched. I can relate to the name of this car.

We had time for shopping, sightseeing and nonstop picture taking. Made new friends and caught up with old ones. I had a wonderful time! 

And going back to The Transformers, these Minis, there’s truly more than meets the eye.

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