The art of the celebrity divorce statement

After nearly 13 years of marriage and three children together, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, one of the entertainment industry’s most enduring couples, have announced that they are planning to divorce. The No Doubt singer, 45, and Bush frontman, 49, exchanged vows in 2002 during a traditional Anglican service at St. Paul’s Covent Garden in London, after dating for six years.

Two years into the union, Stefani discovered Rossdale’s first secret — that he had a daughter, fashion model Daisy Lowe, now 26, by his ex-girlfriend Pearl Lowe. While the marriage survived that revelation, this time around being apart — with both spending a lot of time away from home due to busy work schedules — appears to have contributed to the problem.

When celebrities split up, their press representatives communicate the sad news to the world through statements that conceal, more than reveal, the true reason behind the breakup. After all, a divorce statement often sets the tone for what the public can expect from the former couple in the days to come. In Rossdale and Stefani’s case, they politely asked to be left alone, hoping the paparazzi would somehow grant their wish. 

PRIVACY, PLEASE

“While the two of us have come to the mutual decision that we will no longer be partners in marriage, we remain partners in parenthood and are committed to jointly raising our three sons in a happy and healthy environment,” the musicians said. “To that end, we respectfully request privacy from the media during this time.”

As futile as it sounds, given the very nature of show business — remember that some of these individuals have happily sold pictures of their newborn children or of their weddings — this request for privacy seems to be a key feature in these bland and tightly controlled missives. When Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony decided to announce the end of their marriage in 2011, they said, “It is a painful time for all involved and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.” Upon calling it quits in March 2014 after 11 years together, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin said, “We have always conducted our relationship privately and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.”

But some Hollywood actors — or their publicists — can be unusually enlightened and realistic. “While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated,” said Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds in 2010.  

STILL FRIENDS

Another element in the divorce statement template involves the exes putting on a good face for their fans and pretending to be mature about their official separation. “I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends,” said Russell Brand after filing for divorce from Katy Perry in December 2011. Perry compared the disunion to finally being “out of the lion’s den” in her 2012 song Wide Awake.

“We remain friends and wish each other the best,” said Kim Kardashian after she filed a divorce petition in October 2011 after 72 days of marriage to Kris Humphries. In 2013, however, the reality star, then pregnant with her child with Kanye West, sang a completely different tune. “I do not want to be married to (Humphries) when I have my baby. I am requesting the status of my marriage be determined now for not only my health and welfare but also for the health and well-being of my unborn child.”

THINGS LEFT UNSAID

I may be ridiculously jaded, but I have noticed that the only stars to indicate how many years of marriage they had to live through are those who barely survived the so-called seven-year itch. “While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul searching, we have decided to separate,” went Heidi Klum and Seal in 2012.

“It is with great sadness that after seven years together, Tony and I have decided to divorce,” said Eva Longoria in 2010. “We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate,” according to Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s 2005 declaration.

Then again, since a celebrity divorce statement discloses such a personal event while declaring next to nothing about the individual circumstances, what’s more telling are the details that are conveniently left out.

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