Trends of the week
Mrs. Clooney ain’t a saint
MANILA, Philippines - International human rights lawyer Amal Clooney, wife of trophy husband George Clooney, stepped down from her Most Perfect and Envied Woman on Earth pedestal this week after filing a human rights case in the United Nations on behalf of suspected plunderer and former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, thereby transforming herself in the eyes of Filipinos into Raymond Fortun with fabulous eyebrows. Clooney, neé Alamuddin, was depicted as a noble protector of the weak upon her marriage to George despite her history of defending Middle Eastern despots and war criminals, because, hot damn, she’s gorgeous and married to George freaking Clooney.
Earlier this year, The Huffington Post published a scathing article entitled, “Amal Clooney is not a saint,” which delved into her checkered clientele that includes human rights violator King Hasan bin Isa al Khalifa of Bahrain and Muammar Gaddafi acolyte Abdullah al Senussi. Even the backlash against her is amazing. If the world needs reminding that you’re “not a saint,” you’ve set some pretty high expectations.
Highest official of the land tricked by own men
President Noynoy Aquino was “fooled” by SAF Director Getulio Napeñas on the Mamasapano mission. He was fooled so bad that it took him six weeks to finally realize it. If only his cellphone was on when suspended PNP chief director General Alan Purisima texted him about the clash, then maybe, just maybe, he may have seen through the ruse.
If you actually believe the President’s explanation that took six weeks to craft, then God bless you. It means that you essentially believe that our President is a borderline imbecile who needs multiple weeks to piece together facts that, in theory, should be instantly apparent, and who turns his cellphone off during critical anti-terrorism operations. The alternative is to believe that our President, completely in control of the situation, made a fatal error that caused the deaths of 44 SAF commandos. So I guess it makes sense why P-Noy wants us all to believe that he’s basically Mr. Bean.
Maguindanao massacre suspect bailed out by weird justice system
Judge Jocelyn Solis-Reyes of the Quezon City Regional Trial Court Branch 221 triggered howls of rage across the country after granting an P11.6-million-bail request for Sajid Ampatuan, one of the suspects in the Maguindanao massacre that took the lives of 58 people whose bodies were eventually found in a backhoe-dug mass grave in a town that bears his surname. Sajid’s attendance and silence during the murder-planning meetings was rendered insufficient evidence of guilt, which raises the question: what’s taking them so long to convict those who actually talked in those meetings? The frustration of following legal proceedings in the Philippines as a layman is two-pronged: a) you rarely know what lawyers and judges are talking about; but b) you’re pretty sure it’s B.S.
New ‘Thrones’ trailer drops
Game of Thrones returns in a month and in case anyone forgot, HBO released the second and most exciting Season 5 trailer yet. It has dragons, armies, splattered blood, dragons, and a badass monologue from Daenerys Targaryen, mother of dragons. Did I mention dragons? April is shaping up to be a very crowded TV month, with the recent debut of two new excellent comedies, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and The Last Man Standing, and the final season of Mad Men (a personal favorite) premiering soon. But you can’t spell “Golden Age of TV” without G-O-T. And certainly no other show combines all the gore, sex, intrigue, and unpredictability of this ongoing epoch better than Game of Thrones. I can’t wait for the bloody backstabbing to start.
