Trends of the year

Muslim extremists carry out counter-productive attack

MANILA, Philippines - This week’s ultimate #NoChill moment comes courtesy of the extremist gunmen who killed cartoonists and staff of the satirical French magazine Charlie Hebdo for its history of publishing cartoons making fun of Islamic extremism. I remember a time when offensive material was met with strongly-worded letters to the editor. These guys went straight to the top shelf and just murdered people.

“We have avenged the prophet,” these douchebags purportedly proclaimed after committing the murders, which is weird because I’m not sure Mohammed knows or even cares about some little Parisian satirical publication. But thanks to their medieval act, more people now have seen the controversial cartoons than ever before in the wake of the attack. So great job, soulless morons: you have avenged your prophet’s little-known ridicule by making sure the whole world sees it.

Catholic Week starts off early with Feast of the Black Nazarene

Religion broke out on the streets of Manila this week, and Pope Francis hasn’t even boarded his plane yet. The beloved rockstar Pontiff’s visit to the Philippines seems like a big deal until the Feast of the Black Nazarene reminded us that good ol’ Pinoy religious fervor already fills our streets every year, without the pull of a real animate being. But it’s nice that we can get all that shoving and trampling out of our system before the Pope comes. God forbid Pinoys embarrass themselves in front of sacrosanct foreigners.

MRT and LRT raise fares, commuters’ blood pressures

After a year highlighted by soul-crushing long lines, defective trains, and a derailing accident that only reinforced the creeping feeling that maybe the MRT has been really trying to kill commuters all along, the DOTC increased MRT and LRT fares to start the new year. Virtually no one was thrilled about this, as end-to-end fares have nearly doubled, while the metro train-riding experience continued its steady descent into abject chaos. Yet, the lines all week were still biblical in scale, and the trains were still uncomfortably packed, precisely because these same incensed commuters still had to ride these now overpriced chariots of hell.

As we approach another election season, just remember this: the story of the Filipino is his absence of choice.

Relax, Paul McCartney is still universally known

Did you know that Kanye West fans do not know who Paul McCartney is?

Also: did you know that they were kidding?

Apparently, the rest of the world didn’t, and proceeded to lose its marbles, yelling at all the kids stepping on the legacy of the greatest surviving Beatle. The tweets that broke out upon the release of the Kanye West x Paul McCartney single Only One, which were basically different variations of the same “I don’t know who this Paul McCartney is but Kanye’s about to give his career a huge break” tweet, could only be interpreted as either sarcastic or really ignorant. That most people went with the latter is really telling and pretty much sums up social media’s reputation. When in doubt, assume everyone is dumb.

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What are your top social media trending topics this week? Tweet us @PhilStarSUPREME!