Trends of the week

MANILA, Philippines - After weeks of pretty much wall-to-wall nonsense, Twitter finally had some pop culture meat to sink its teeth into. And thank God! One can only absorb as much #YungCrushMong and #TalagaLangHa before one’s brain turns into goo. This week, Twitter talked about actual movies and songs made by actual creative people who make gobs of money out of their creativity. I mean, I’m all for the democratization of media and all that stuff, but once in a while, I also enjoy reading about what professionals are up to.

Shocking revelation:“Lady Gaga is a GUY”

The “Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite” Internet urban legend has been around for a while, founded on the flimsy evidence of her vaguely androgynous looks and a low-resolution performance video on YouTube allegedly showing her man-parts. Lady Gaga herself has long refuted this rumor, but with the release of her latest music video, G.U.Y., it seems the singer-songwriter is fully embracing this quasi-infamy, whipping it out, and taunting people with it.

“G.U.Y.” is supposed to stand for “Girl Under You,” which is supposed to be what it is: ostensibly sexual while subtextually critical, an elaborate, high-concept, and visual commentary on the ways in which the world is still driven by men. That Twitter might get the wrong idea isn’t the result of some social media faux pas — it’s part of the messaging. It seems like pretty advanced tongue-in-cheek meta performance art stuff to prove your point by setting people up for the very sexism you’re decrying. But not to the random guy who’s staring at his laptop at 3 a.m., snickering at “Lady Gaga is a GUY,” before switching over to 9gag. The medium — not the message — always wins in the end.

‘Divergent’ rules box office, Twitter

The number one movie in America and in the Philippines is also the one most hated by critics. Yes, we’ve found our new Twilight, ladies and gentlemen. But while one American teen gothic inspired so much vitriol almost immediately upon its release, the other seems to be attracting enough fawning teenage girls with nary a threat of ridicule. The difference perhaps lies in their success. Divergent had a $56-million opening weekend — a paltry figure compared to Twilight’s $69.6 million (and worlds apart from New Moon’s $143M). Divergent might be trending on Twitter, but it’s hardly the cultural phenomenon that Twilight was, at least so far. It’s no fun mocking an ersatz version of something the world has already mocked years ago.

This should serve as a challenge for all Divergent fans out there. Step it up a notch. Unleash your memes and your “Which Divergent Character Are You” or “Which Divergent Faction Do You Belong To” quizzes. Fill our Twitter and Facebook timelines with Theo James’ pictures. Throw the kitchen sink thing right in our faces. For the sake of Divergent’s legacy, annoy the living hell out of us.

This week in ‘We’re getting old’: ‘The Breakfast Club’ turns 30

The Breakfast Club, a generation-defining movie set in 1984, made the worldwide trends list this week, as it marked the 30th anniversary of that fictional day in high school detention. Or rather: as 40-something website editors made sure the world knew about this because this stuff is important. The movie was actually released in 1985, setting off a lasting tradition of stereotype-shattering high school movies, the ones that try to convince us that nerds aren’t just nerds, jocks aren’t jocks, and freaks aren’t just freaks, while perpetuating those same exact stereotypes.

The 30 years landmark for The Breakfast Club doesn’t feel as jarring as, say, Nirvana’s “In Utero” turning 20 last year. The mid-‘80s do feel 30 years ago, whereas the early ‘90s weirdly feel younger than 20 years. It’s as if the Internet has sped up time ever since its creation, lumping the decades before it into one sepia-toned era of bad facial hair and fashion styles that it arbitrarily regards as cool every couple of years. And no, Simple Minds hasn’t become cool again yet.