Does this look gay to you?

MANILA, Philippines - I’ve never been much of an athlete (and anyone who’s ever taken a P.E. class with me will undoubtedly agree), but as a spectator, there is a special place in my heart for basketball. There is something electric about hardcore fans screaming from the bleachers, the smell of popcorn and face paint, the squeak of players’ shoes as they gracefully maneuver the expanse of the court, the swishing sound the basket makes as the ball flies through, the chill that surrounds any fourth quarter free throw, the rush of adrenaline for both the players and the audience. 

For so many, a basketball game is a kind of church where most differences can be set aside in favor of team spirit, in favor of who can make the winning shot. But some may argue that the purity of the sport has slowly been decanted within the last several years, with a much more visible focus on living like a “baller”—that is, a steady stream of flashy cars, giant mansions, well-tailored suits, limited edition kicks, and every flavor of woman on God’s green earth. And whether or not this is an idea you agree with, the truth remains that the realm of sports is heavily pumped with testosterone and machismo, with basketball setting a glowing standard.

Which is why it came as such a surprise to so many when the Washington Wizards’ Jason Collins came out this week in an article published by Sports Illustrated. This is a man with a reputation for his ability to get in there, to not only take a charge when it counts but to put each foul to good use. This is a man who’s played 12 seasons with some of the best teams in the NBA, such as the New Jersey Nets, the Minnesota Timberwolves, the Atlanta Hawks, and most recently, the Boston Celtics. By all standards, Collins should be rolling in a sea of short skirts, tanned legs, and high heels, but apparently, his preference lies elsewhere. And still, this is a man who’s gone around with nary a scandal under his belt, considering the size of the secret he’s kept buried for, at the very least, all 12 seasons he’s been with the NBA.

Greatest myth

This is an important fact to note as it brings to light a very important distinction. One of the greatest myths that contribute to homophobia is the idea that someone gay desires every single person of the same sex that crosses his or her path. Sure, gay men may be attracted to men, but it doesn’t mean that they’re dying to hop on just any man that swings by. Calm down and give a brother some credit. (After all, isn’t good taste what gay people are supposedly known for?)

What Collins demonstrates is the difference between character and sexual preference. I am certain that showering in a room full of fit, naked men can be distracting, but it also comes with the territory of an extraordinary job rooted in individual passion. A man can be gay and be in full control of his faculties. A man can be gay and be honorable towards his teammates. A man can be gay and give other men more respect than a locker room full of heterosexual males have been known to show a lone woman in their midst. How a man can be gay and accomplish these things speaks largely of his character, of which his being gay is a large part, but is not the only defining element.

And especially in an arena riddled with as much machismo as the world of sports, the value of Collins speaking out and making this distinction matters. It matters to a point between life and death. I’m certain there are many closeted athletes who are exceptional at what they do, but feel like they may not garner the same kind of support for being gay, or who feel like coming out may lead to a choice between doing what they love and being true to themselves. How many people can survive the stringent schedule like that of a professional athlete — eating, drinking, and sleeping your sport of choice, relying on your hands not to fail you as you take that shot, relying on your feet not to give out as you cross that finish line? How many people can survive that while denying such an important part of themselves? How many people on this earth can truly love what they do if it requires them to live a lie?

Making a difference

Collins’ coming out makes all the difference because, and I’ve said this before, it helps shatter the image of what makes someone gay. Not every gay man wears a full face of makeup or dances on the sticky floors at obscure gay bars or is picking out throw pillows at Jonathan Adler or can put together a killer brunch. Not every gay man immediately accepts a welcome packet into homosexuality that includes a wardrobe full of pink shirts and short shorts. Some gay men will also be the most chivalrous men you’ll ever meet in your life. Some gay men are naturally good with directions and handyman repairs (even if they might do those repairs with Beyonce blaring in the background). Some gay men like to tough it out with the best on the basketball court, while slapping a number like “98” on their jersey, in tribute to some of the worst hate crimes against fellow homosexuals that occurred in 1998. There is no one standard for being straight, and it is people like Collins who are adding to the proof that there isn’t one standard for being homosexual either. A man is no less of a man simply because he loves another man.

It is my hope that this is only the beginning, and that we see more courageous souls take a stand for the rest of those still lost, closeted, and confused. “Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it’s a good place to start. It all comes down to education. I’ll sit down with any player who’s uneasy about my coming out. Being gay is not a choice. This is the tough road and at times the lonely road… The most you can do is stand up for what you believe in,” says Collins in the article, and I couldn’t agree more. When someone takes a stand, they create the opportunity to create a world that is so beyond tolerant, it is accepting. A world that understands love as having more than one face, and a man as more than the sum of his parts.

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