'Kimmy Dora and the temple of Kiyeme': Adventures in the land of kimchi

MANILA, Philippines - Supreme arrived at an expensive restaurant in Makati one and a half hours early for this very exclusive interview. Our editor’s instructions: “Ma-late ka na sa kasal mo, ‘wag lang dito!”

See, we were sitting down with two of the richest and most powerful women in this country, Kimmy and Dora Go Dong Hae.

 The twins have never granted an interview to a Philippine broadsheet — until today.

The stern Kimmy arrived on-the-dot at 12 noon, flanked by her assistant Gertrude, and six good-looking men in black. Fun-loving Dora, on the other hand, came minutes after, with her pet “aspin” (asong Pinoy) Mikky. They were dressed in matching Korean hanboks.

Good afternoon Miss Kimmy. Hi Dora!

Dora: Annyeonghaseyo everybody! Annyeonghaseyo ate Kimmy!?Kimmy: Why are you late Dora? My god, nakakahiya sa Supreme! I am humiliated! Pagbabayaran mo ‘to! We’ve been waiting for 13 minutes! I have no respect for people who keep me waiting for more than 12 minutes!

Dora: OA ka naman ate. Na-late lang naman ako, hindi nakapatay ng tao.

You must have gotten a lot more popular after your first movie, Kimmy Dora: Kambal sa Kiyeme, came out three years ago. How did you adjust to the extra attention?

Kimmy: I added more good-looking bodyguards with abs.?Dora: Ate, ba’t kailangan may abs??Kimmy: Walang basagan ng trip, Dora.

Your next movie, Kimmy Dora and the Temple of Kieme, was shot in Seoul, South Korea. But we heard temperatures went down to -17 degrees Celsius there?

Dora: Yes, it was very cold! May snow na nga, tapos may cold wind pa, kaya super cold! Ang suot namin, at least five layers of clothes. Otherwise, baka umuwi kami as snowman na.?Kimmy: Me naman, okay lang. Sanay na’ko. Laki ako sa aircon.

Supreme: Despite this, how was your trip like?

Dora: Ang daming Koreans!?Kimmy: Malamang Dora! Alangan namang maraming Italians!?Dora: And they were very cute! Para silang laging galing straight out of a Koreanovela. Even our bodyguards were very cute!?Kimmy: Oo, at mas makinis pa ang face nila kesa sa’min.

What was the best part of your trip to Seoul??

Kimmy: Uniqlo.?

Dora: Temple! Temple! Temple! And Heechul!?

Heechul??

Dora: Kim Heechul of Super Junior! Na-meet ko siya! On our last day in Korea, we were having dinner and he came in with his friends and he said hi! He’s so cute!?

Kimmy: Oo at nag-iskandalo siya sa loob ng restaurant. My god, nakakahiya!?Dora: Palibhasa ate, ang favorite singers mo, sina Pavarotti and friends.??

How did you like their kimchi??

Dora: Ang anghang! But I love Korean food! ‘Yung kimchi, every meal, meron. Side dish lagi.?

Kimmy: Quota na ‘ko sa kimchi.??

Rumors say you met somebody from your family’s past in Korea. How did it go??

Kimmy: We were advised by our family quack doctor-slash-lawyer not to comment on this matter for security reasons.?

Dora: Sobrang nakakatakot! Because we met a gho--?Kimmy: Dora, bingi ka ba? Kakasabi ko lang na we cannot comment on this matter!?Dora: (whispers to Supreme) Mamaya ko na lang ikwento sa’yo. Meet tayo sa Toy Kingdom, pets section.?

Kimmy: Dora!?Dora: I mean, watch na lang our movie, so you’ll know.

What’s the best thing about being twins??

Kimmy: Tough question. Give me a minute.?

Dora: We fight ghosts together!?

Kimmy: (Tries to hide her smile) Well, I’d have to agree. Dora’s right. May tama ka, Dora.

What will be your next big acquisition??

Kimmy: The Scarborough Shoal.?

Dora: Dog food for Mikky! (Mikky barks in agreement.)?

Kimmy: Tsaka lason na rin. Kapag hindi na naman tumigil yang askal mo, Dora.

How does it feel to be the world’s richest twins, second only to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen??

Dora: Really?! It’s an honor! Oh my god, I love them so much!?

Kimmy: Huh? Sino sila??

Dora: Oh my god ate, hindi mo sila kilala? How could you?! Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen! They’re so sikat kaya! My god, nakakahiya sa Supreme! I am humiliated! Pagbabayaran mo ‘to!?

Kimmy: Are you mocking me??

Dora: Uh, I’m not sure. What’s mocking ba, ate?

The Go Dong Haes are the 4th wealthiest family in the Philippines. What can you say about this??

Kimmy: I’m tired of the wealthiest-wealthiest lists. Please, tell me naman something I don’t know. Gertrude, did FHM already call you back regarding my inclusion in the 100 Sexiest???

(Dora starts laughing. We try to suppress our laughter but fail.)?

Kimmy: What’s so funny?!?Dora: (Rolls on the floor laughing).?Kimmy: Stop it, Dora. (Looks piercingly at Supreme) Especially you.?

(We stop laughing and sh*t our pants) Our sincerest apologies, Miss Kimmy.

(Awkward silence.)

Last question. In three words, what is your final message to your fans?

Dora: Please watch Kimmy Dora and the Temple of Kiyeme on June 13! (Counts the words in her message) Ah… Pwedeng in 12 words na lang??

And you, Ms. Kimmy??

Kimmy: (To Supreme) You are fiiiiiired!

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Kimmy Dora and the Temple of Kiyeme opens in theaters nationwide on June 13.