The judicial system explained through farts and poop

One point for the Philippines this week, as the Impeachment trial ended with a conviction for Renato Corona. A lot of people agreed with the verdict — an article in the New York Times said it seemed like “a victory for the political maturity” of our country. But I think that many of us still wonder why we had to go through the ugly four-month trial. What was all this for?

Mr. Corona believes that the Impeachment was an attack by the President on the judiciary. His spokesperson, Midas Marquez, called it a “deliberate dismantling of public confidence [in] the court.” And in April, a grim Corona warned that when “respect for the judicial process is gone, no law can save us as a society.”

As. If.

As if people had trust in the judiciary in the first place, because it worked so efficiently? As if our courts were our nation’s shining white light? No. The courts aren’t saving us from ruin, they’ve helped cause our our ruin. Countries are only as good as their system of justice, and we’ve got one of the slowest, most corruption-hobbled judiciaries in the world.

Yet until the Impeachment trial, very few people minded this. We accepted reports of trials lasting 20 years. We tolerated stories of absentee judges, and rampant bribery. When asked what our biggest problems are, hardly any of us point to the courts; we instead point to the President and ask him to create jobs, find investments, and solve poverty and corruption.

That’s because people don’t really understand what the courts do. Sure, we know that they interpret laws, and hand punishment to people. But again, what for?

Muscles And Organs

Now, I like to understand things through farts and poop. Because I’m a normal person. So, here’s my analogy.

Imagine our society as a human body. Each of us are cells in this system, and our institutions are our organs. The executive is our brain and our muscles, because it makes decisions and moves us forward. The legislature is our senses, because it gives the brain the information it needs to act.

The judiciary is our digestive system. It processes everything we take in, stores the good and expels the bad. When there’s a law that hurts people, the courts are supposed to strike it down like we puke food poisoning. When there’s a person that does wrong, the courts put him away — the same way a two-year-old poops out a toy he shouldn’t have swallowed.

Then, the nice laws and nice people get separated from the bad and saved in our bellies. This allows us to grow and live healthy lives. It would be a really bad thing, of course, if out butt stopped working — which brings us back to our judiciary.

Imagine if it took us 20 years to poop. Imagine all our waste accumulating in our intestines; our bowels, ready to explode. Those are our courts. It’s a miracle our country still functions.

Potty Training

Now, one of the first things we ever learn is to potty train. This happens before we go to school and before we find jobs and marry. That’s ‘cause proper digestion is the foundation of humanity. That’s just science.

The point is, if there’s one thing we have to fix before anything else in this country, it’s the judiciary. The President can only combat corruption when the courts works. Foreign investors will only feel safe in the Philippines when the courts work. Ordinary Filipinos will only receive justice and find equal footing in this country when the courts work.

I’m not saying Corona’s to blame for all this. He isn’t. But if there’s any good that has come out of recent events, it’s that people are finally focusing on the judiciary. And there is so much work to be done there. The next Chief Justice has the opportunity to de-clog the courts, reform the system, and get justice working again. More than the “tuwid na daan,” this is what will really turn this country around.