President Noynoy Aquino is an inspiration to mankind. He’s popular, he gets things done, and he’s living proof that looks aren’t everything.
So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the man has his pick of the ladies. P-Noy is obviously no stranger to V-Gina — and considering the hot women he’s been dating, he’s probably really good with it, too.
Now, I support the President. I hope he finds a great lady to settle down with. But I can’t help but think that we, the public, should have a say in his selection process, too.
I mean, First Spouse is an important position. It can sell second-hand choppers to the police, and broker deals with Chinese telecommunications firms. We can’t give the job to just anyone.
No, P-Noy needs a partner who will help him build the country. Someone like Michelle Obama, who’s going all around America fighting child obesity.
So I’ve put together a list of women P-Noy should be dating. This is public service, by the way, and therefore not creepy at all.
GRACE LEE
Strength: 6/Speed: 6/Kimchi: 10
If P-Noy consummates his relationship with Grace Lee, it would cement ties between our country and Lee’s native land of Korea.
Think of the boon this’d be to our economy. With more Koreans here, our coffee shops will never go empty, and brands like Bench can finally market beachwear jeans.
P-Noy and Grace would then, of course, sire a brood of females, who will tour the world as a girl band named P1Noy GrLz. (Get it? It’s in honor of their parents.) They will sell millions of records, raise the profile of OPM, and leave an entire library of songs for Sitti to cover.
KC CONCEPCION
Abs: 100/Ass: 100/EQ: 100
KC is coming out of an emotional break-up with Piolo Pascual, but that shouldn’t stop P-Noy from dating her. After all, I heard she really misses being with a man.
ANNE CURTIS
Agility: 7/Versatility: 7/Ability to cat-fight in a bikini: 10
Anne Curtis has starred in a box-office hit, sold out Araneta Coliseum, and launched a bevy of successful brands. Imagine what she’d do as the face of our country. Imagine how she’d sell us.
Anne will also replace the entire Presidential Security Group. Everyone knows from watching No Other Woman: Nobody touches her man.
INDAY SARA DUTERTE
Strength: 10/Nerve: 10/Speed: 3.75
Inday Sara is exactly what P-Noy needs in his fight against corruption. As First Lady, she’d line all the sleazy bureaucrats up, look them in the eye, and punch them. And then eliminate them. Allegedly. There will be no proof.
JANICE DE BELEN
Cooking: 10/Power to start intimate conversations: 10/Chins: 2
One of the functions of the First Spouse is to entertain guests of the President, and for this, Spoon host Janice de Belen would be perfect. Imagine her cooking for ambassadors, and extracting state secrets from them over a dish of bulalo. Then, picture her ending a dinner with foreign leaders by giving them gift packs from Alaska.
LILIA CUNTAPAY
Longevity: 10/Persistence: 10/Sense of humor: 18.5
You may not know her name, but you definitely know her face. Lilia is Pinoy horror cinema’s staple aswang. The talented actress staged a come-back last year, with the mockumentary Six Degrees of Lilia Cuntapay. Today, she’s shooting The Bourne Legacy — which means she’s an expert in stopping traffic (great news for P-Noy’s security, as he still refuses to use a wang-wang).