Britney, U92, and the anti-Lohan
Death of the week: U92
MANILA, Philippines - KC Montero in drag, adventures with the Bieber, models noticed for their minds. In the short time, U92 was on the air, it managed to bring some real game-changing flavor to local radio, turning the attention back to discourse and entertainment, rather than ego-stroking entitlement. But in the tradition of My So-Called Life, Veronica Mars, and other prematurely ejaculated quality programming, U92 bid farewell last Thursday, leaving listeners with one less frequency to tune in to. “The relationships we built with the people who listened to us made an imprint on our hearts, too,” says Vicky Herrera of U92’s Dollhouse. “We connected with so many people and got to bring amazing personalities into our booth. Radio brought us the best experience we could ever ask for.”
Gay event of the week: Britney Spears on glee
All hell broke loose in Mckinley High’s Britney Spears sex riot and we heard it first from Sue, “Don’t let your own recklessness blind you to the fact that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur and a gateway drug to every out-of-control impulse ever created!” She wasn’t lying. The cast’s nitrous-induced Britney Spears fantasies brought us back to Catholic school girl outfits, crystal-encrusted flesh tone body suits, and the unforgettable combination of abs and snakes. And having John Stamos play the uber-hot dentist responsible for these hallucinations? Well, that’s just the cherry on that gay sundae. It’s safe to say, It’s Britney, bitch, and everything she touches turns to gold!
— Stacy Rodriguez
Advertising genius of the week: Trojan
Dora the Explorer might just grow up to say “Hurrah!” every time she does it, but that’s just lame marketing from those in the sex industry. Just recently, Trojan Condoms showed everybody else how it’s done by ingeniously placing their vibrator ads over daytime reruns of Seinfeld on cable TV. Called Triphoria, this three-tipped personal massager did the trick, successfully concealing the fact that like Facebook, this personal massager can also poke.
‘Ikaw na!’ of the week: Charice
After her telephone ringback worthy debut on Glee, Charice (and her mom, too) is still on a roll as music industry bible Billboard lists her as the fourth hottest star in its “21 Under 21” list. Beating Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas, Charice strengthens her hold on the Hollywood pyramid and joins the ranks of Taylor Swift and rumored hermaphrodite Justin Bieber. From an amateur singer in Laguna to one hawt property, Charice is indeed correct in dropping her last name. After all, she’s no longer Pempengco, nor is she Pempengmo, but she’s Pempeng-nating-lahat! Yay!
Envoy of the week: Mazlan othman
If aliens (and we mean aliens, not Kokey) came to Earth and asked to speak to the president of the world, who do we direct them to? Barack Obama? The NASA administrator? Maybe Toni Gonzaga? Wrong. Meet Mazlan Othman, head of the UN Office for Outer Space Affairs and the recently appointed point-of-contact as soon as any ET existence reaches us earthlings. Othman will be greeting visitors from the other side of the universe and would introduce our race to them, making her the Earth’s ambassador to space. We tried interviewing Mrs. Othman for a comment, but as of press time, all she could say was, “Korekorek Korekok.”
Employee of the week: Kris Aquino
If you are the Philippines’ Queen of All Media and the President’s youngest sister, you already have enough power to moonlight as a generator for Napocor. However, it can’t go on forever. Kris Aquino became very humble and honest to the tweeting public when she admitted that she did not quit or resign from the noontime show Pilipinas, Win na Win! but rather “was asked to leave to give way to a new group of male hosts.” Rico J. Puno, Marco Sison and the remainders of their testosterone levels will be joining Pokwang and the Voice Valerie Concepcion beginning Monday, in an effort to rate higher than their 30-year- old competition.
Breakout of the week: Emma stone
She might be a raspy-voiced redhead, but Lindsay Lohan she ain’t. After cutting her teeth in films like Superbad and House Bunny, Emma Stone makes her bid for Hollywood stardom with the Molly-Ringwald-meets-Regina-George teen comedy Easy A. As PopEater scribe John Mitchell, instead of partying after the recent MTV Video Music Awards, Emma chose to get a grilled cheese sandwich with her brother and some friends. “She seems to be taking her cues more from the Rachel McAdams School of Keeping it Classy than the Lohan Academy of Any Publicity is Good Publicity,” he writes. “So let’s maybe give this 21-year-old beauty exactly what she deserves: The respect she’s earned and the privacy she has requested.”
