MANILA, Philippines - Hello, ladies. Look at your man; now back to me; now back at your man; now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped plucking every hair on his body and stuck to plain, masculine ruggedness, he could be as manly as me. Look down, back up. Where are you? You are in the time when metrosexuality is in its decline and retrosexuality is emerging.
A time where cowboys retake their rightful seat in all of male-dom against the pedicured, manicured, and fabulously pampered metrosexual. In case, you don’t know:
•Metrosexual (noun)
A dude with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.
Loves: shopping, going to spas, sensitivity, folding their jeans
Hates: getting dirty, bad hair days, not looking sexy
Favorite Celebrities: David Beckham, Legolas, Himself
•Retrosexual (noun)
A dude who embodies the stereotypical macho man.
Loves: hot chicks, beer, MMA, Mulan OST – I’ll Make a Man Out of You
Hates: Jabronis, cute stuff, girly drinks
Favorite Celebrities: Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Angel Locsin, every other hot woman in the world
Look again, there is now an awesome timeline above this article!
You have now been teleported back in time to 1994 with Mark Simpson publishing his article “Here Come the Mirror Men.” In it, he tells us about the rising new breed of guys he calls the “Metrosexual.” They are the dudes who are in touch with their feminine side, but don’t go overboard. They manifest themselves mostly through consumerism. They shop for clothes, men’s beauty products, good-looking stuff for their bachelor’s pad, etc.
Many years later, David Beckham rises to popularity, not only among women, but also among men. Here’s a guy who can do manly stuff such as football and abs, and also, at the same time, indulge in $1,000 haircuts and having his back waxed. Many lame guys who wanted to be awesome followed suit and became fabulous as well.
Look again, we are now in 2003, the year that metrosexuality conquered the world. With the media going gaga over Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, many men also indulge themselves in grooming, learning culture, and wiping the toilet bowl after peeing. In the same year, the number of surgery procedures for men surged by threefold since 1997. In local news, Taiwanese boy band F4 causes men to grow their barber cuts into long, wavy hair to rival Justin Bieber’s.
In the years that followed, actors such as Brad Pitt and Jude Law portray attractive men in roles such as Achilles and Alfie, respectively. And it was in 2005 that Barney Stinson arrived and taught us how much men should love their suits.
But in 2006, we see a change of manly scenery. Shows like Man vs Wild and Dirty Jobs show us the true way of real men. Messy, rugged, and full of adventure. The following year, more manliness came in the form of movies such as 300, Transformers, I Am Legend, Shrek (he did beat a fire-breathing dragon), and Spider-Man.
As 2008 rolled up and the World Credit Crisis happened, cashless men were force to turn away from expensive creams, massages, and shoes and go back to the way things were. Back to chopping up firewood, hunting their food, and roughing it. Proof of this would be the decline in sales of men’s beauty products.
In the two years after the World Credit Crisis, we can now clearly see the reemergence of retrosexuality through the increasing popularity of the UFC and Manny Pacquiao boxing matches. In the blogosphere, the Tunay na Lalake blog became a hit among men. Recently, we have been entertained by the awesome Old Spice ads advocating “real man” fragrance, we’ve been trying to win that Cristine Reyes real men getaway contest, and we see our favorite action stars such as Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Jason Statham and Sylvester Stallone in one action-packed movie.
Ladies, get ready, because the world of men is about to get a lot more musky and rugged in the coming years.