@PCOSmachine's top 50 tweets:

MANILA, Philippines - “@PCOSmachine Why do you look like a large trashcan with a screen?”/via @clarriscent — Don’t judge me please, I am not a book.

• Can somebody please send me water? I’m overheating and I’m thirsty after eating all these ballots. ktnx

• Please don’t blame us PCOS machines. We’re doing our best. Just shade the bilog na hugis itlog and I’ll do the rest for you. :) #halalan

• Hearing talks that voting will be extended until 11 p.m. COMELEC better pay me overtime.

• “u may rest now … u did have a long day… = )” #halalan #juanvote /via @natezmd — forced overtime kami. Anyone know a labor lawyer?

• Talked to the others, we’re thinking of starting a PCOS party list for 2013 elections. Consensus is @jabjimenez will be our 1st nominee.

• My #1 goal in life is to ensure clean, honest, and orderly elections. 2nd is to remove Justin Beiber from trending topics. #halalan

• Think COMELEC should have made it clearer that a vote for Jamby is not equal to a vote for Ang Ladlad Party-list.

• Having a hard time transmitting. Can somebody tell the PCOS next door to stop downloading Gossip Girl for a while. I’m trying to work here.

• Do follow my boss Cesar Flores @cesarfz of Smartmatic. He promised me double pay if he gets 1,000+ followers. Love u boss (not in a gay way).

• To everyone complaining about us PCOS machines overheating: have u been to the Philippines? It’s freaking hot here.

• “I was nervous at first, but after putting it in, it felt really great! :P” /via @falloutkee — first time is always the hardest.

• “@PCOSmachine, do you have other talents? Besides jamming and counting ballots?”/via @ohblackstars — I moonlight as a trashcan when I’m broke.

• “PCOSMACHINE FOR PRESIDENT!!”/via @neusdadt — tnx, but I’m not a natural born Filipino. I do not have political ambitions. Showbiz lang.

• RT @blistersun @PCOSmachine What do u say about your alias as “Hokus PCOS”? — Who said that? Mabawasan nga votes. Magic pala ha.

• To @cfcard; I’m not talking to you. You almost ruined my career.

• Folks, pls. dnt blame us PCOSs 4 d results. Wer just machines, dude. It’s u guys dat shade those itlogs. Also, I am LSSing on dat song. Damn.

• Boss @cesarfz just gave me the green light. I’m ready to announce the results … Suns beat Spurs 107-101.

• Watching Terminator on my iPad. This is a good movie. Very realistic. Go machines!

• “@PCOSmachine if u are not a machine, who will u vote for president and why?” /via @kingofthefranks — Gordon. Transformer. Duh.

• Filipino people, d current PCOS machines do NOT have sex, get aroused, or turned on. Tell Congress if u want that model. It’ll cost u thou.

• Just realized, liquor ban is officially over. Time for a drink! Pass the oil please!

• After all the hard work today, all d preparation, all the volunteers’ work, billions spent ... Justin Beiber is still trending. FML.

• “@PCOSmachine by far, you’re better than @CFcard! That dude is a trying hard!”/via @albertdaryll — I believe he was purchased in CDR-King.

• “@PCOSmachine I think you meant Bieber … /via” @albertdaryll — spelling his name right isn’t exactly gonna help our goal no?

• OMG boss Cesar definitely knows how to party. Too bad he told everyone “what happens in airforce one, stays in airforce one”. Iv said 2 much.

• RT @gschan “@pcosmachine Family portrait? ~ http://www.janisan.com/Rubb.jpg “ — dude do I look like a trashcan 2 u? Don’t answer that.

• Back frm SM-TIM celebration. So cool, d next prez of d country dropped by. He looked ok 2 me, but wat do I know, I’m not a psychology. Gnytü

• Initializing startup sequence: integrity check ... passed ... network check ... passed. .. temperature check ... fail ... results check ... omg wtf?

• Overheard @comm_larrazabal & @jabjimenez last nyt talkin abt possibly just adding votes 4 Jamby to Ang Ladlad so they get a seat in d toilet.

• “If Kris A invites u to The Buzz, will u oblige?”/via @Wikedwitz — I’ll have to ask boss @jabjimenez 1st. Will need him 2 drive me there.

• “what is your take on the candidacy of Jamby Madrigal?” /via @GeloLopez — the machines like her. Made counting easy coz not too much votes.

• Great news! Boss Cesar just told us that company outing will push thru. Instead of Boracay, we’re going to this place called Hacienda Luisita.

• RT @poljeffrey: @PCOSmachine if ever u will be offered a cabinet position by the new administration, what would it be? — Umm, a cabinet. Duh.

• “@pcosmachine If u were given d choice, wat wud be ur confirmation message instead of “Congratulations”? /via @sauldejesus — “ARE YOU SURE?”

• RT @smashzilla:”@PCOSmachine Can ur hardware handle Plants Vs. Zombies?” — That’s an apt tagline ah: “HALALAN 2010: Plants Vs. Zombies”

• Guys AFK, company meeting and evaluation at 3 p.m. Need to prepare my reports. Have a feeling this whole tweeting thing will be discussed. :(

• Company meeting just finished. Good and bad news. Good: elections & counting were generally peaceful, orderly, & honest. Bad: the results.

• “@PCOSmachine if your life story will be a movie, how wud u like it to be called?” /via @johnonline — maybe “PCOS of You.”

• Good morning Philippines. @comm_larrazabal just called me 2 make sure we record d show 2day. Apparently they only hav Destiny Cable at home.

• Does any1 know if Willie Revillame is back in Wowowee today? If not, I’m just in the studio next door. Just saying.

• “@PCOSmachine what’s taking you long to come out on tv? LOL” /via @pebbykins — still in d toilet. All those ballots aren’t easy 2 digest.

• Re: broom incident. Would rather not talk about that. Still hurts.

• Talking to Boss @cesarfz about staying in the Philippines. Thing is, my visa requires me to have work here 2 stay.

• “#hirePCOS d next Prez promises 2 give jobs, I hope he will give d PCOSmachine a good one!/via @roninreyes — I can b baby james’ new nanny.

• Just got off d phone w/ people frm Abante tabloid. They want to start a new sex column, aptly called “Xerex Machine.”

• #hirePCOS Just talked to ERAP to clarify some confusion on that “Congratulations” message. I should have been more clear to him, my bad.

• “@PCOSmachine, did any of the candidates try to hook up with you before the elections?” — ERAP promised a mansion n San Juan. Noynoy, land n Tarlac. Villar, a house in Camella. Perlas promised an extra batt

• YMing with JC Delos Reyes and Mr. Perlas. Trying to explain to them how elections work. Highest votes = winner.

• I have a special affection for @iamtimyap because it’s not common to meet people whose name is also an acronym like mine.

• RT @heyitscatt “hahahaha ano masasabi mo sa #PBB ?” — I don’t get it. Talking to a faceless voice. What’s next, talking to machines?