Date with an Empress

Never mind the commonplace title. You chose to read on because you either knew who it was referring to, or, like myself, got a kick out of the name.   

Yes, a girl named Empress Schuck exists, as I’d discovered a couple of months ago, squinting at a mag stand and zeroing in on the cover of a teen glossy, where a young woman’s cheeky smirk, the indication of her being clothed in B.U.M., and her oh-so-glorious moniker made for a beguilingly kitschy combination. There was that spark of initial interest, such as what happens when you suddenly become aware of a personality, before all the fame the name reaps obscures everything. 

But did this particular personality truly warrant my interest, even with practically no knowledge of who she is and what she’s done? While for an interview, a Wiki and a prayer would do, could a conversation with Empress actually fly on a wing and a prayer?

So before I knew anything apart from the name and the face that went with it — the gumdrop roles in Ai-Ai’s BFF and the upcoming Vic Sotto starrer Ang Darling Kong Aswang; that she and a few girlfriends from ABS’ Star Magic, including Kim Chiu and Melissa Ricks, call themselves ChiuRiGoGoBaShu; and that the 16-year-old’s concurrent aims are to bag a primetime drama and grasp El Fili for her home study — I decided to pay my respects to Empress.  

On the premise of asking random questions and hoping for real answers, we introduce “None of your Show Business,” a new section that aims to intercept personalities right before their projected rise to fame — before all they become capable of is the necessary evil known as the “showbiz answer.”

Okay, the name... Ano backstory diyan?

Lima kaming magkakapatid, lahat ng pangalan namin royalty (giggles). Yung kuya ko lang named after siya ni papa, si Hans. Half-German si papa. So yung ate ko, Princess. Tapos si Hans, si King Matthew Vaughn. Ako, Empress Karen. Tapos si Prince Justin. Yung name ko ata nakuha sa Neverending Story, may character ata ‘dun na Empress.

Name ng daughter ni Pacquiao Queen Elizabeth. Napanood mo yung interview niya kay Jimmy Kimmel?

Mmhmm, ang labo [ng name] (laughs). Ang mga sagot lang naman niya ‘dun is ‘Yeah, o, yeah’ (laughs).

American idols mo?

Si Morgan Freeman and yung kasama niya si Jack Nicholson. 

Ah, Bucket List. Umiyak ka ba ‘dun? 

Mmhmm! Halos lahat naman iniiyakan ko eh. Pati yung Shrek din iniyakan ko (giggles profusely).

Morgan Freeman is in 2012 or Danny Glover ata. Ah basta, black president. Anong gagawin mo ‘pag nag-end na ang world?

Yung trailer pa naman ‘nun parang Drag Me to Hell. As in gumunaw talaga ang mundo. Reaction ko parang ang bilis naman, hindi ‘man lang ako makakapag-asawa ‘nun. Tapos sabi ko, okay lang, at least makaka-abot ako ng 18. Makaka-debut ako. 

Okay lang, may Facebook naman ang generation mo eh. ‘Pag may nag-add sayo na ‘di mo kilala, okay lang?  

Hindi. Pero hindi ko ini-ignore kasi malalaman niya, kaya ang daming naka-standby ‘dun. 3,000, 4,000 na ata yun.

How are you in front of big audiences?

Nagawa na namin sa States. Masaya, lalo na yung part na all-stars tapos kinakanta namin yung kay Pacquiao — Pilipino. Umiiyak ang ibang artista kasi parang “Wow, lahat ng nanonood kababayan natin.”

Eh ikaw? Iyak din? 

Hindi, tumatawa ako. Nagnanakaw ako ng mic, kasi sabi ko, “Bakit hindi pa ako nakakakanta?” Since madami nang singer, kinuha ko yung mic ni Richard Poon (laughs).

Gets mo ba appeal niya?

Crush namin yun ni ChiuRiGoGoBaShu ‘pag kumakanta lang. 

Tingin mo nakakatulong ang name mo sa appeal mo?  

Never ko naisip yan! Maganda yan ah. Actually yung Schuck pa nga yung parang nagpapagulo eh. Kasi parang nalilito sila —“Ano ba, shook, shuck?” Shook talaga [ang pronunciation]. Minsan nga iniisip nila “huwag ka nalang kaya mag-Schuck, Empress nalang?”

Kung kunwari may nangyaring sobrang grabe, like a car accident tapos nabasag mukha mo. 

(A look of sheer pain on her face) Ganun talaga yung pinaka ayaw ko, parang araw-araw kong iniisip yun. Na yung mukha ko masugatan, tapos ayoko mamatay sa sunog, basta huwag lang yung mukha.

Pero kung nangyari nga yun, ano gagawin mo?

‘Di pwede mag-artista?

Ikaw. Pero basag mukha mo.

Di pwedeng ‘pagawa yun?

Pwede siguro.

Diba si Richard (Gutierrez) na-aksidente tapos ang panget ng dito niya? (Draws air circles around her face). Pero ngayon maganda na?

Oo, may Flawless siya.

(Giggles.) Oo, so hahanap nalang ako ng sponsor.

Tinanong ng friend ko sa ‘kin nung isang araw, “Ano ang gusto mong lifestyle 10 years from now?” Eh ikaw?  

Siguro 10 years from now, artista pa kaya ako nun? Siguro medyo artista tapos kung sideline lang siya, pinaka-bonggang dream magkaroon ng company na ako may-ari. Kasama ko pa rin ang family ko sa isang bahay. May asawa na ba ako 10 years from now? Siguro huwag muna. Pero ganon lang, simple lang. Simple lang, may kumpanya? (Laughs.)

Pero wala kang balak maging independent at 26? Travel alone for one year, ganon?   

Hindi ko alam. Parang hindi ko kaya (scrunches face). Na ako mag-isa? Kahit sa Iloilo, sa mall show, ‘di ko kaya! (Laughs.) Kaya iniisip ko na kung 18 na ako, sino kasama ko? Si mama, hindi na siguro sasama kasi matanda na siya, kasi pagod na siya, siya yung nag-d-drive, siya yung lahat!

So who will you vote for ‘pag pwede ka na bumoto?

Alam mo, favorite ko talaga si Erap dati. Hindi ko naman kasi alam yung mga ginagawa niya nung president pa siya. Para siyang daddy, ganon. Ngayon alam ko na, ay, si Chiz nalang.

You think nasa future mo yung politics ‘pag super sikat ka na?

Gusto ko tumulong pero hindi ko naman kailangang maging politician para tumulong, diba?

Wow, Miss Universe answer yan ah! 

Hindi, marami akong dreams — na gusto ko gumawa ng bahay para sa mga mahihirap. Pero hindi ko kailangang tumakbo para magawa yun.

Realness Richter: 7.05/10

Game enough to break out into Sometimes When We Touch a la Pacquiao, endearing for admitting she forgot her Friendster password, but beyond her life of taping and home study is a blank stare and a shaky giggle. Still, the girl is 16, so!