Smilestones

Ah, inspiration. As a naturally goofy individual doomed to lead a deadline-driven existence, my mind is constantly in flux, tunneling through the ruffled clutter of pop culture in search of crap to turn into gold with the help of a few delightful turns of phrase. I want my words to change the world and as a result, the days leading up to the aforementioned deadline normally take on the bile-like flavor of anxiety, not to mention the distinct smell of Ben-Gay and a half-eaten falafel. Yes, it’s not easy being a columnist.

In fact, there have been moments when I’ve driven myself into a mental cul-de-sac, going around and around in donuts on some stranger’s virtual lawn. But look, it’s been a full two years since I took this space hostage and I’m still here, alive, kicking and totally awesome. I tell you, it’s been worth it.

To mark Supreme’s second year, I hounded my short-term memory for the most inspired — and most intriguing — ideas that have come along by creative accident. Most of the time, they make me grin like a maniac because apparently, discovering truly mind-blowing stuff is less about inspiration and more about serendipity.

1. “Vampire” is now a legitimate career option.

Underage wizards may have ruled the first half of the decade, but the tail end of the 00s — and, most likely, the start of the ’10s — belongs to the vampires. Tweaking the collective nipples of slightly more mature mouse potatoes, HBO’s True Blood has only gotten more fang-tastic as the ratings of its recently-concluded second season prove.   

 The young ’uns, meanwhile, have been nerding out on Twilight and The Vampire Diaries and the online fapping has resulted in quite the bloodbath. In trying to figure out which series started the phenomenon, the words “ripped off” have been casually thrown around. See, while the former is a puzzlingly successful film franchise and the latter a burgeoning TV hit, both are adaptations of books that feature cross-cultural dalliances between moody bloodsuckers and really open-minded humans.

It’s also worth noting that L.J. Smith’s The Vampire Diaries was already around 14 years before Edward and Bella crawled into Stephenie Meyer’s imagination. So who’s whiter and colder than an ice cream cake? That’s a debate the fans happily sink their teeth into, one that has spawned its own book genre.

2. Kids, say hey to an unlikely fashion icon: your dad.

In these times of counterculture against the political and economic brawn that dominated much of the noughties, a feeling of nostalgia continues to pervade the world of international menswear. You’d assume that, after eight years of the shrunken retro-banker Thom Browne look, its omnipresence would finally fade, but no. Instead of curling at the edges and dying, it kind of stuck and produced a resilient preppie/dandy hybrid.

For a few seasons now, all the things your dad wears (or used to wear, if he’s enlightened) have been rife for a little plundering — bowties, suspenders. three-piece suits, pleated pants, double-breasted jackets, Sebago tassled loafers, and all things Polo Ralph Lauren. Of course, in line with fashion’s paradoxical nature, you have to be young to get away with it.

The bourbon-soaked revival tour was evident in last week’s Spring 2010 men’s shows in New York, where Phillip Lim debuted his men’s line complete with models sporting Rick Astley mini-bouffants. And if you’re still in doubt about this relatively new old-man chic, London’s 10 magazine cites the “paragon of how an older, elegantly tailored man of the world should look”: Prince Charles.

3. The more we try to be different, the more we look the same.

Case in point: Lookbook. Instead of highlighting individual style, the site has become a mere Flickr account filled with skinny boys trying to andro it up and Susie Bubble wannabes giving their fiercest menstrual-cramps pose.

Maybe technology has made things more claustrophobic. Taken as a whole, however, Lookbook reminds me of Exactitudes, a 13-year collaboration between Rotterdam-based photographer Ari Versluis and stylist Ellie Uyttenbroek. A contraction of “exact” and “attitude,” the study features subjects in an identical framework and shows how groups of people around the world express their individuality by dressing alike. The Kaiser Chiefs’ Everything Is Average Nowadays sums it all up: “But everything is of no consequence/ ‘Cause everyone is sitting on the fence /And everything will always stay the same.”

4. Forget beta. It’s all about meta.

In the span of a few years, I’d like to believe that the way we think has evolved to keep up with technological progress. From post-modern and post-post-modern, we found ourselves living in an age of irony, characterized by trucker caps and an its-so-bad-it’s-good point-of-view. But as we shift our gaze beyond the horizon, we find ourselves flushing the ashes of yesterday’s mindset down the toilet and taking on a post-ironic, post-everything stance.

With our self-awareness at an all-time high, we not only love to make fun of ourselves, but the way we make fun of ourselves. If you still can’t wrap your brain around it, take Emmy Award winner 30 Rock, a TV show about a TV show, and The Colbert Report, which recently paid tribute to our recent tribute to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. As pop culture and the means of creating pop culture become more democratic, a meta — meaning “beyond” or “second order” — mentality has emerged.

It used to be charming, but self-deprecation is now so old school. If you ask me, mocking how we mock ourselves is totally where it’s at.

5. Beth Ditto is a wise woman.

It was in one of those cheesy home makeover shows that I heard something completely provocative: “When you attempt to light everything in a room, you really light nothing.” While that was about unflattering overhead lighting, I immediately saw how it applied to what I do as a writer.

Given the spectrum of opinions in the universe, it would be deeply unwise to even try to please everyone with what I tackle in this weekly space and the manner with which I convey it. Since I believe that you’re bound to stumble upon a kindred spirit if you stay true to yourself, I make it a point to articulate only the things I feel strongly about. Or at least, I try to.

As Gossip lead singer Beth Ditto states in the August issue of Nylon, “It’s not about the hundred people whose minds you can’t change. It’s about the two people you empower.” And that, yo, is what keeps me going.

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Find me: ginobambino. tumblr.com.