Kiss an Earth Pig

Two more days and it’s Chinese New Year! It’s the year of the Pig. My son is born under this sign. But what’s the big deal? When I look back on my life I think of all these fortunes and I just want to heave a huge sigh of relief that I am more or less over them.

First there was astrology that came hand-in-hand with fortune-tellers. I am a Leo, born on the eighth day of August, very proud, very royal with that beautiful mane. I was going out with a Sagittarius man. A fortuneteller told me I looked down on him because he was half-man and half-horse. I believed her for a while until I realized that I was a female lion and there is no animal as plain as a female lion. She doesn’t have the mane of the male. She doesn’t have his royal bearing. What the female lion does is she romps with the proud male while she’s in season, then gets pregnant with her cubs.

After she gives birth she has to hunt for her whole family — the male lion who by now is cavorting with other lionesses in heat — and her cubs. She hunts for them and eats only after all of them have finished. That is the life of the lioness. That is exactly how I felt when I had my own life in my own hands. I did not live just for me. I lived also for my children. I was the shadow of the male lion. 

When I realized that, I dropped the whole astrology thing. But I couldn’t pass a bookstore without getting seduced by astrology books with titles like Moon Signs or Sun Signs. You know what I used them for? As character references for when I was trying to write a script for a TV show. It really is good for that purpose because it tells you a particular sign’s good and bad points and you have your instant character right there. It’s easier than inventing someone.

But the fortune-tellers stuck. Through my 30s and 40s life was hard and we all needed some kind of guide to see us through. We went to all sorts of fortune-tellers. Even when I was in the States, there were many fortune-tellers there and three of us close friends, all Pinays, would go on a whim. I think to find a fortune-teller who’s right for you, you must get a vibe. I remember a fortune-teller we went to who lived in the basement of a building, curtains separating the room where she told fortunes from her bedroom. She told me, “Among the three of you, you are the only one who will return home and there you will make a huge success of yourself.” I remember that, there, I got a vibe, though I didn’t think much of it.

But a few months later my youngest daughter graduated with honors. I stood there clapping for her but I had tears in my eyes. For the first time in years I felt homesick. I sent out Christmas cards to people I had worked with in the Philippines and received one card in reply. It said, “Come home. I have a job for you.” That was a turning point. I did and while I didn’t take the job he offered, I took another one and indeed made a huge success of myself. So you see, sometimes the fortunes the tellers tell you come true.

Much later in my life I discovered the Chinese horoscope. I’m a Monkey in that system. The big boss at the office was a Dragon. According to the Chinese fortune-teller who checked out our ad agency (because we were bidding for a big account), only Monkeys can run rings around the Dragon. So the Dragon did not talk to me for two months. I couldn’t figure out why. I asked another friend, “Why isn’t he talking to me?” When he told me it was because of feng shui, we both burst out laughing. Finally I went in and talked to the Dragon, told him I knew why he was behaving that way, promised not to run rings around him. We all laughed until one day I did run a ring around him and quit, left for a better job.

That was long ago. Now this Monkey has married a Tiger, the sign that is so incompatible with her. So far I don’t see any trouble. True, he growls when he’s being affectionate. We have gotten mad at each other a few times but after we straighten things out, we love each other again. So now I’ve given up on Chinese horoscope, too, though I bought a case for my cell phone with a fat pink pig at the back just to celebrate the picturesque Year of the Earth Pig. Go out and kiss one!

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