Filipinos are still very ‘Kilig’ and ‘Senti’

And other observations of an American expat who still enjoys living in the Philippines — traffic, floods and all.

First, let’s talk about that big ol’ elephant sitting in the room.

Filipinos are agitated. I’ve never seen so many people here divided on a number of suHappbjects. They have gripes and concerns.

They’d like less traffic. Way less! They’d like the cost of food and basic goods to stop rising like the floodwaters. They’d like faster internet speeds. Now! And while we’re at it, they’d like to not be arrested for hanging out in public without a shirt on. They’d like a president who doesn’t troll God. And in general, they’d probably like fewer dead bodies in the streets.

Still, despite all these, as Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski might say, the Filipino abides. He endures. He is resilient. Whatever life throws in front of Filipinos, they have a way of tossing it back and keeping themselves above water.

Truth is, it doesn’t take much to make Filipinos happy. They seem to generate happiness from within. It’s a sustainable resource that energy experts like Elon Musk and Al Gore should take a closer look at. Their capacity to laugh — even in the direst circumstances — is a blessing. Some say it’s their curse. But believe me: if you want to survive in this crazy world, it’s a blessing.

So what makes Filipinos happy, in this day and age? I think it’s a combination of things that sustain them.

 1.   Filipinos love to laugh. Ever since I came here, I realized that wringing a laugh out of any situation is the unique gift of people who’ve learned to tolerate a lot of disappointments in life. Governments that don’t work. A justice system that’s broken down. Disconnects between what they pay in taxes and what they receive in services.

So what to do? Make every situation into a comedy routine. Life is a noontime show, after all, and it’s always noontime here. From inmates performing Michael Jackson’s Thriller in a prison courtyard for laughs, to a president who gives a special shout-out apology to God on occasion, it’s always funnier in the Philippines.

It’s worth noting that both Filipinos and Americans love to be entertained, 24/7. After all, the US gave birth to Seinfeld, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and the Trump White House.  And what’s more entertaining than watching our leaders behave like bratty little children? In fact, both current leaders of the Philippines and the US possess quick tempers, both love to express themselves in, er, “colorful” language, both display a puzzling fondness for Vladimir Putin, and both share a hatred of the free press. Practically soul mates!

 2.  Filipinos love to eat. I think it was Carmen Guerrero Nakpil who wrote, “The Filipino loves his country with his stomach.” And clearly, the Filipino has learned to stomach quite a lot. For Filipinos, life is a buffet, and they’re always willing to share. I can still remember being stupefied by the amounts of food loaded onto groaning tables during the first Christmas feast I attended here. Little did I know, that was no unusual display; it happens around the calendar. I’ve long noticed that Filipinos have a habit of talking about their next meal — or a cherished past meal — while enjoying the food right in front of them. Food begets food, begets even more thoughts of food. Maybe the true nature of time is akin to the Filipino love of eating: it exists in the past, present and future simultaneously. And there’s no such thing as “three meals a day” in the Philippines — Filipinos are the only people in the world who think the “second breakfast” and “elevenses” scene in Lord of the Rings was written about them.

3.  Filipinos want to see their families around them, intact, provided for. This is why so many Filipino adults live in the family compound. It’s not because Juan is tamad, it’s because his parents and grandparents want to keep their kids around as long as possible, hopefully producing as many apos as possible while they’re there. This extended family tendency should not be confused with the American phenomenon of more and more kids reportedly heading back to the parental nest after college to, like, save money and stuff. (See: Matthew McConaughey in Failure to Launch.)

4.  Filipinos have faith. And that’s nothing to sneeze at, Mr. President. See what happens when you trash-talk God? Your numbers drop. It’s always a puzzlement to foreign correspondents like CNN’s Anderson Cooper how Filipinos can keep smiling for the cameras, even amid typhoon wreckage and devastation. The answer lies in that ever-renewable resource, the wattage generated from within that’s reflected in those smiles: it’s based on belief that things will be okay. Maybe not today, but someday. Misguided? Naïve? Just look at who’s still smiling, while the world is going mad.

5.   Filipinos will always cock a suspicious eye at politicians and government. (Doesn’t matter who’s in office.) In 20 years spent here, I’ve never seen what I’d call a well-functioning government, and I suspect Filipinos haven’t either. It gives them plenty to bitch and complain about, and if you don’t think that’s something that makes Filipinos happy, you don’t know how comforting it is to find somebody to blame.

Filipino happiness is based on a belief that things will be okay. Maybe not today, but someday. Misguided? Naïve? Just look at who’s still smiling, while the world is going mad.

6.   Filipinos want to improve their lives. Always. There is an unquenchable desire to move upward in life, whether it’s in the desire to have as many kids as possible to further their chances, or the almost preternatural sixth sense Filipinos apparently have for golden opportunities. Sure, a lot of them turn out to be scams (see pyramid schemes, Bitcoin crazes, general elections), but Filipinos love the possibility of catapulting themselves to some greater reward. Unfortunately, there are only so many “random karaoke girl” singers who can be discovered and made famous by Oprah and Ellen Degeneres.

7.   Filipinos are still very kilig and senti — they believe in love and romance. This becomes apparent during the mad rush each year around Valentine’s Day, when the pressure is truly on to come through and ssomehow inscribe your senti greeting in the most public manner possible — whether it’s in skywriting, on the side of a blimp, or unfurling from an EDSA billboard. Sometimes, it’s displayed in the most inappropriate ways — as in a president pursing his lips for a kiss from a married Filipina OFW onstage somewhere. Yup, even in these #MeToo times, such an act almost involuntarily draws cries of “Uy!” from the females in a crowd. (Or was that “Ewww!”?)

8.   Filipinos have a strong sense of home. Every time I see Filipinos abroad, they ask how things are “back home.” Even the Fil-Ams who grew up there. The same is not true for my fellow Americans of French or Italian ancestry. If I just came back from Paris or Rome, they wouldn’t say, “How’re things in the homeland?” Like rice and adobo, Filipinos have an innate craving for what they miss and see little of while they’re abroad.

9.   Filipinos have a strong sense of national pride. Watching Manny Pacquiao’s recent comeback, I couldn’t help feeling there’s a kernel of nationalism here that I sometimes admire. Americans are famously patriotic, but it’s not always patriotism that comes from feeling like we’re moving towards a better version of ourselves. Sometimes it’s divisive. Sometimes it’s reflexive, or lazy. Like: been there, done that. For Filipinos, it seems to come straight from the blood, or at least the heart.

10. Filipinos generally want to make strangers feel welcome. Any visitor here will tell you this: from lavish meals to giving up their master bedroom, Filipinos are spectacularly hospitable. It genuinely seems to make Filipinos happy to lay out the “welcome” mat. Usually, they don’t expect you to stick around for two or more decades, as I have. But to their credit: they still don’t seem too put out by such “overstaying.”