Honesty and humility — not denials — are the best ways to gain redemption

Life is full of constant ups and downs, and all I ask for is redemption in the end. — Robin Thicke

When in crisis — whether in career, relationships, finances or even in politics — I believe the wisest way out is to face the situation with honesty and humility (maybe add good humor, too), but not with denials and lame excuses. 

This was what I witnessed on March 9 at Restaurant 9501 on the 14th floor of ELJ Building in Quezon City during Sharon Cuneta Pangilinan’s emotional homecoming to her former home station, ABS-CBN 2. She will co-host the show Your Face Sounds Familiar with Gary Valenciano and Jed Madela.

Sharon was gone for three years from ABS-CBN due to what she admitted was a “tampo” — a Filipino word with no exact equivalent in the English language but meaning withdrawing of affection or cheerfulness caused by a hurt or slight. 

The Megastar revealed that this misunderstanding with the network’s executives was unnecessary, that her mistake was relying on others to act as a bridge instead of threshing out the issues directly. Sharon also said that God woke her up and that she now makes all her decisions by seeking His guidance.

The late Apple founder Steve Jobs(left) who overcame crises. Ex-President Jimmy Carter(right) faced failures and crises with honesty, reinventing himself.

Sharon is talented, extremely well-read and smart, and still has legions of admirers, despite a lull in her career which she openly talks about with candor and self-deprecating humor. She also admitted her continuing struggle to lose weight, revealing that she has already lost 40 pounds and wants to lose 15 more.

Sharon’s mom died in November of 2014, and I can’t forget her tearfully delivering an eloquent and honest eulogy. I had just come from a meeting in Ortigas Center, Pasig City and didn’t have dinner yet, planning to just express my condolences and leave. However, I was riveted by Sharon’s long and touching eulogy. It was standing room only and jam-packed in the chapel at Santuario de San Santonio Parish in Forbes Park, Makati. It was near midnight and a cold night; I had no seat, but I forgot my hunger and tiredness, listening to that heartwarming speech. In that moment, Sharon was not a celebrity but a loving daughter pouring her heart out and paying tribute to her mom.

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Many other people in different fields and societies have experienced crises and setbacks, but still retained their will and passion. The late Steve Jobs lost the top job in the Apple company that he founded but was eventually able to return years later. US President Jimmy Carter in 1980 failed to win freedom for US hostages in Iran but he never shirked command responsibility, explaining the botched rescue operation and accepting responsibility. Although Carter lost his presidential reelection bid, he later reinvented himself as a respected elder statesman, humanitarian advocate and diplomat.

Yale University’s Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld and University of Georgia’s Andrew J. Ward wrote in the Harvard Business Review about people seeking to stage comebacks in their careers: “In every culture, the ability to transcend life’s adversity is an essential feature of becoming a great leader. In his influential 1949 book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces, anthropologist Joseph Campbell showed us that the various stories of great leaders around the world, in every culture and in every era, are all essentially the same story — the “hero myth.” This myth is embodied in the life stages of such universal archetypes as Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, Aeneas, Odysseus and the Aztecs’ Tezcatlipoca. Transformational leaders follow a path that entails “a call to greatness, early successes (involving tough choices), ongoing trials, profound setbacks, and, ultimately, triumph as they reintegrate into society.”

Athlete Scott Hamilton back-flipped his way to Olympic gold in figure skating in 1984. In 1997, he battled cancer and recovered, then was diagnosed with a brain tumor that he survived as well. He never gave up, went on to write two books and has had a full life doing many good things such as serving as a Special Olympics Global Ambassador. Hamilton said: “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” He also said that people with strong faith “can endure anything,” adding: “God is there to guide you through the tough spots. God was there every single time, every single time.”

Those people — whether celebrities, leaders or men and women of any vocation — who have successfully staged comebacks have usually been those who have accepted their circumstances with humility, honesty and who never, ever gave up. 

It is the same in some the most popular movies or even TV series here or abroad that we love — whether in the romance, action or drama genres. The best story is often that of a protagonist battling crisis with guts and grit, never giving up, and then making an arduous yet inspiring comeback.

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