Valentine’s Day is a day for love and romance. Couples plan dinners together, exchange gifts and cards with each other. And though Valentine’s Day is one day, we are constantly with our loved ones, day in day out, for the rest of the year. Being in love is one of the best feelings, but keeping that love also entails time and effort.
To celebrate this month of love, I asked some personalities to share with us their best love advice.
Yong Nieva, businessman
“You will never really know how to love until you forget how to hate.†Heard this once before from an American elderly couple from Pensacola, Florida back then when I was still living in the States. They were actually speaking about their own daughter’s bad marriage. Tall order to follow, for their own daughter had been abused — both mentally and physically. It is also tall order for us to follow, for not many are really able get deep until we experience hurt. Maybe “hate†is too big a word to use in this quote. Maybe not hate, but “slateâ€... as in a clean slate! But the advice is good as well for those of us who have been through previous marriages like myself. A day before we were to leave for our planned marriage abroad, I told my soon-to-be wife, “We are not leaving until you go out with your ex and have a talk!†They did, and that’s another short story.
Love, even for those first entering into marriage, ought to have no baggage. Love is total acceptance. Love is a beginning. “Expect not, want not†is perhaps a more apt piece of advice. I am bad at Valentine’s advice because it is not just one day in the year where you create “fuss.†Love is the cheery “Magandang morning†as my loving wife begins our day fresh out of bed! Love is, “Ang ganda naman ng asawa ko!†each time she comes out of her walk-in closet. And many more terms of endearment that make both of us feel good.
Chiqui Brosas, financial adviser, Bb. Pilipinas, 4th runner up Miss Universe ‘75,
Give love to receive love.
Ria Carrion-Domingo, head, Frequent Flyer Program Mabuhay Miles, Philippine Airlines
When you are young, love is a feeling, a romantic connection. But as you become more mature you realize that love is not just a feeling, it’s not just about connection. Love is a decision, it’s about what two people do with that connection, how they honor, and how they work together in making and helping sustain a heaven outside of heaven that gives love a deeper meaning.
Alex Araneta, chief catalyst, Catalyst360 Training & Consultancy
The Bible describes Adam and Eve as “lego†to each other, which means they are a perfect fit (which is where the toy got its name from). Based on this, my advice for couples is that they need to acknowledge individually that they are each other’s Lego or perfect fit because we need to be reminded that love is a commitment and not just an emotion.
Patrick Uy, businessman, photographer
My favorite verse on love is 1 Corinthians, “Love is patient; love is kind.†Some have more luck than others — finding the love of your life in this lifetime is a gift from the heavens; thou shall not waste such a golden opportunity to be happy. Life is impermanent and it is better to have loved than not to have loved at all.
Maricris Luzuriaga Lim, wife and mom
I think the best advice I can share about loving someone is to acknowledge that we all have our faults and limitations. To try and change our partner to be someone we want he or she to be is a recipe for disaster. It is also important to keep in mind that each person has his or her own language of love. Take time to know and show love the way your partner understands it.
Pette Jorolan, chef and owner, Everybody’s Café
I am happy to share this: “Love never tires; love never fails.†(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Agoo Bengzon, beauty director for Summit Media
Trust your natural instincts. It is something that can’t be forced. Love, when it is in its purest form, will last forever.
Claire Seelin-Diokno, makeup artist, Shu Uemura
Here’s something I learned this year: somewhere down the line we fill our lives with compromises and little adjustments to who we are so we can make the relationship work, but never forget who and what you are because that’s exactly what made your partner fall in love with you in the first place. Never surrender that.
Amanda Griffin Jacob, Project Mom author/Glam-O-Mamas CEO/TV host, Amanda, Loving Life
The best advice that I ever received about love is that it should be easy, not difficult. That’s how I knew my husband David was the one for me. Our love is (and always has been) easy and patient and kind. I’m thankful that I was given that piece of advice because it helped me recognize my soul mate when he came into my life.