On new beginnings and ex-husbands

At ABS-CBN Foundation, during the first week of the year, I usually ask the employees to clean their houses, give away what they don’t need, and organize their things. I ask them to do the same thing in their workplace: organize their files, clean all the nooks and corners. Before we start into the swing of things, I go around to each department — a candle is lit, aspirations are voiced. We start the year with hope and determination to make things better. When hope is there, anything is possible.

Physical cleaning does something to the spirit. A clean, organized place is also more conducive to clear thinking.

My ingredients for a better year:

• Reflect. Look back and evaluate not with rigid judgment, but just look at oneself, at the year past and get a sense of how things can be made better.  

It is crucial that this is not an intellectual process.

What I did:

In my hotel room, surrounded by the magnificence of nature, I opted not to go diving that morning. It was the best decision. After meditation, I “looked” at my life, at myself. It helped that I was already in an uncluttered space of quiet. What I felt were the forces of Great Magnitude that sometimes work through me then I had a sense of how I could better work with them. I “saw” the pattern of situations where I sometimes go off-tangent. Patience has never been one of my virtues. I need to find a way to maneuver the imperfections of today’s world and still get things done without losing my cool. Tough job. It looked like 2014 would present that great challenge to me.

• Look forward. What does the future hold? What can be done to capture the promise of a better tomorrow?

What I saw:

For me, for the country — in fact, for everyone — the promise of a better tomorrow comes by linking up with Higher Forces that are there to help us.

Offer. You are not alone in all of this. Lift up your spirit and be still enough to receive the help that is there for you. Offer, offer, offer.

So I sat for a while, palms turned upward; I felt and received. Beautiful. It was the day before New Year’s Eve. Then I felt: why should we do this only on New Year’s Eve? Why not daily, or weekly, or regularly?

• A space for stillness. Best in the morning. Alone. Preferably not on a full stomach. This was key to the whole process. Be patient: You might find a soothing energy land above your head. In your heart. Just keep offering sincerely. Not asking for help, but offering. And then being still enough to receive the energies that are there for you.

• Keeping life positive is a good way of go. Look for closure when moving on from one phase to the next. En route to Palawan where my family decided to go for a Christmas vacation I was talking to my sister, Berta. I asked her what she did for Christmas. She said she had spent it with her ex-husband and his wife, her current husband and the offspring of both families. That seems very enlightened. I know she had a hard time when relationships were in flux but when her daughter graduated, it felt like it was time to move on.

My ex-husband just recently remarried. I like his choice and so do my sons. She is a dentist. It is interesting that, despite having a very good dentist near our home, she is still their dentist of choice.

When Mommy split from Dad, it was hard for her at first. Eventually they would double date with their respective new partners.  

A good way to have new beginnings is to move from one phase to the next in grace. Bring closure. Smooth out the rough edges. It feels so much better.

• Rituals can facilitate new beginnings. Last December I turned 60. At ABS-CBN, 60 is the mandatory retiring age. I will still be around — given the projects I just started, but acting as chairwoman, no longer as managing director. Kissa Ocampo, a person of great integrity and with a necessary eye for detail, will be taking over. We have a general assembly several times a year where we meet the staff and bring them to speed on happenings in the different programs.

This time, as I hurriedly entered the offices for the last general assembly of the year — and my last as managing director — I was met with singing and roses from all the staff people at every floor! And each song was a song they knew that I liked. Oh, so moving! At the last floor — when they sang I Believe I Can Fly  — it brought forth a gush of emotion and tears.

It’s been 22 years since I’ve been at the helm of the ABS-CBN Foundation — I am not leaving it, just going to another phase, a “new beginning” where someone will take over more of the daily operations — and I can now focus on other things. Tina Palma, Girlie Aragon, Elvira Yulo move on from heading Bantay Bata — to their own next phase in life. We keep AFI young. Gabby’s direction of moving people up the ladder and retiring but not really saying goodbye is allowing the organization to bloom and grow well into the 21st century.

New beginnings. This gives a feeling of freshness, dynamism and evolution.

Sarah Thrift is an expert in strategy and organizational change, the CEO of San Francisco-based Insight Consultancy Solutions. She offers her take on new beginnings based on working with businesses, NGOs and individuals across the world:

• Know yourself. Take stock of strengths and weaknesses. Ask friends and colleagues for feedback.

• Care for yourself. Food, exercise, sleep: don’t shortcut on them.

• Manage yourself. Observe emotions, moods and regulate them. Be positive.

• Create a vision statement for yourself, or your business. This is about writing down what you or your organization wants to be. Choose the words well and read it daily.

• Mentor. Be one and find one.

• Express gratitude to your loved ones.

• Believe you can overcome. Giving up is not an option. By believing you can win, you believe in yourself.

Great advice. You can read more on Sarah’s blog http://www.insightconsultancysolutions.com/blog.

I would like to end with words from one of my favorite songs: “If you believe it, then you do it. If you can see it, there is nothing to it! I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day… spread my wings and fly away.”

I have had dreams of flight so this song appeals to me. This, then, is my wish for you in 2014: Spread your wings. Fly! Just believe it; there’s nothing to it!

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I can be reached at regina_lopez@abs-cbn.com.